What About the Ones on Earth?
by ValorieDevore
Summary: Someone mis-dials Anthony J. Crowley. Then he realizes those meteors aren't rocks. Once a oneshot now a multi-chaptered work of randomness, this story explores the various and sometimes humorous adventures of the Winchesters, Castiel, Aziraphale, and A.J. Crowley. Basically has nothing to do with anything that i feel will happen in season 9. Just fluff and slight angst and fun. :)
1. Zirah Falls Hard

Author's Note: Tread lightly, there be spoilers galore for both series and book.

Warning: Not much of anything.

Disclaimer: None of it is mine.

* * *

Crowley picked up his phone early that morning. He hissed furiously. How dare someone wake him up. It better be important.

"Hullo," he growled in a low voice.

"Uh hello master. Er sire. Er Crowely?"

"Yes, who am I speaking to?"

"This is 2nd level demon, Scumandriel sir."

"That's an awful name," Crowley said.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to change it," the demon said wistfully "if it's alright with you," he corrected immediately.

"Why would I care?" growled unable to find a single 's' to hiss.

"Sir, I'm simply glad to get to you in time," the demon replied sounding a bit relieved.

"What do you mean in time?" Crowley asked. He was used to lower level demons calling him sir. After all he was a level 600.

"Well, sir, you're in terrible danger."

Crowley immediately felt awake.

"What do you mean danger?" he asked suspiciously. The last time a demon had phoned to say he was in danger; Hastur had traced the call and found him.

"They're out to kill you,"

"Who?"

"The Winchesters sir,"

"The what?"

"Winchesters."

Crowley knew he hadn't been to Hell in a while but come on! Who names a demon army the 'Winchesters'. Nonetheless, hell had done some pretty stupid things.

Crowley tried to figure out why the 'Winchester' army was after him and could only think of one reason.

Crowley knew averting the apocalypse would bite him where the sun don't shine someday. He had to warn Aziraphale.

"Tell me everything I need to know," Crowley said miracling a pen and paper.

"They plan on curing YOU sir. You're brilliant plan of having them sign a contract to stop meddling with the gates isn't going to work. They somehow have a plan to capture you before signing it, that way the deal's off and they get what they need that you won't let them have, a demon! Sir you need to come back right away. DON'T LET THE WINCHESTERS NEAR YOU!"

"Wait, who the bloody hell are the Winchesters? What plan? What Trials? Cure a demon?" Crowley asked confused.

"Um, Sam, and Dean Winchester? The Hunters? Your plan to leave the gates of hell opened? The trials that will close the gates of Hell? They need to cure a demon, it's the final trial!"

"Oh for Go-Sa- Someone's sake," Crowley said slamming the pen down hard on his bedside table.

"What's wrong sir?" the demon asked.

"You've got the wrong bloody number," Crowley said laying back on his bed.

"Uh, your name is Crowley isn't it?" the demon asked confused.

"Yes,"

"That's an English accent isn't it?"

"Little American, little English, little Hellish," Crowley said vaguely.

"Your voice is raspy isn't it?"

"Only when someone wakes me up at such an indecent hour," Crowley all but screamed.

"Where are you sir?"

"England you sonuva—"

Apparently however the demon was used to being shouted at and cursed. He ignored the 'insult' completely.

"Isn't your number 666?" he pried on.

"No you damn idiot, it's 667, your bloody finger must've slipped!" Crowley yelled fully annoyed now.

"Oh, I guess it did, Sorry. But wait you ARE Crowley aren't you? I've addressed you this way a few times and you never corrected me,"

"Yes, yes, Anthony J. Crowley, formerly known as Crowley, formerly Crawly, the serpent in the garden you idiot. You want regular old Crowley who made me have to get the Anthony J. in my name. The difference is in the cheekbones my dear demon." This had been happening often recently. Damn Crowley must've gotten himself a phone.

"I am terribly sorry sir"

"You damn well should be, now hang up before I get the other Crowley on the line, if he's still alive that is, and we rip you to shreds for YOUR INCOMPETENCE!" Crowley threatened.

The line went dead.

"Bloody Americans with their bloody Winchesters and their bloody trials and their bloody time zones." Crowley said trying to fall back to sleep but not succeeding.

Also he was unused to so much swearing. It was hurting his head.

Later on he'd be watching a Marathon of Golden Girls when all the appliances went hay wire. Crowley rolled his eyes as a voice was heard coming from them.

"IF ANYONE IS LISTENING, THIS IS YOUR KING. SEND HELP."

Crowley flipped every appliance the bird. He was still cranky from being woken so early.

Several hours of Farrah Fawcett later Crowley could feel himself drifting to sleep.

'What an unproductive day,' he thought to himself with a smile as the credits began to roll on the screen.

Suddenly, the sound of one of those annoying 'Breaking News' interruptions came on screen. Crowley ignored it but did not bother to switch the television off.

"Breaking News" said the news anchor with too much gel in his hair, obvious signs of Botox and an orangish tan.

"We are receiving reports of an unexpected meteor shower. The meteors are reported to appear to be the size of a fully-grown adult. Scientists are trying to figure out what is going on since they say that for so many meteors to fall at this size at the same time unexpectedly is unheard of. What makes this case more interesting is that reports of these falling stars are being reported all around the world. They can be seen even in broad daylight in some countries. We will keep you posted."

The 'Breaking News' jingle played again before returning Crowley to Golden Girl credits. Crowley however had long since abandoned his flat in search of an angel.

Aziraphale was listening to a radio station that had long ceased to exist but, because Aziraphale loved it and it never dared play anything resembling be-bop, it continued to exist on higher plane. He found that when listening to music he didn't feel as alone in the empty bookstore while reading his beloved books allowing his cocoa to develop green mold and solidify.

Suddenly the sound of a reporter came on the station. His voice sounded like that you could expect from an old-timey radio.

"We are getting news reports from all over England. Reports are even streaming in from places all over the world. Meteor showers are being seen all across the skies of every country. These balls of fire are even so bright as to be visible in plain daylight."

Aziraphale stared at the Radio for a full minute even though the voice had gone and was replaced by Bach's Cello Suite No.1

Meteors… All over the world… falling… seen in plain daylight…

'What in the World?'

Suddenly he heard the screech of tires and the abrupt stop of a car's motor engine turn off. He watched as a figure approached, his silhouette lightened by the meteors falling outside. Aziraphale froze in his spot. The familiar figure burst through the door, sending the little bell into a frantic fit of ringing.

"ZIRAH! ZIRAH!" Crowley yelled making his way into the store, upon seeing Aziraphale sitting at the counter he let out a sigh of relief.

"Crowley?" Aziraphale rasped. Suddenly everything around him felt very heavy, as if gravity were pulling him down.

"Zirah! You're okay! The angels they're falling! Those aren't meteors! Bloody Crowley must have something to do with this! Come on we're going to America!"

Suddenly the atmosphere in the store seemed to break. Almost as if a conflict between gravity and wooden legs had been started and gravity had finally won.

The legs on Aziraphale's chair buckled and the angel Fell with a surprised "Ohmmph!".

Crowley stifled back a snicker.

* * *

Author's Note: Because you see, while I was crying over the angels falling, my brother walked in and asked what happened and then he watched it on his own and he came into my room and he said.

'Look, I know the angels are dead,'

'THEY FELL!' I said

'right, fell, anyways, can you imagine Aziraphale sitting in his bookshop sipping cocoa and he suddenly falls out of his chair?'

And I burst into laughter and it was okay.

So I hope this makes it okay for all of you. Please review?


	2. Tartan Pillows

Author's Note: Hah hah hah, (nervous laughter) so this was only supposed to be a one-shot but then I got a review and then there was a little scene that played out in my head and so here we are. Heh heh sorry if it's not great. It might be actually a few more chapters until at least Castiel and the Winchesters reunite.

Warnings: I don't think there's anything. If you look at it from a certain angel, I mean, angle, you can see a lot of relationships, but nothing is made positive yet.

* * *

"Hey, you guys are here early," said the ship inspector.

"We know," said the first mate as he signed off on the papers.

"Like 7 hours early,"

"We know," the first mate said getting slightly annoyed

The ship inspector was however in a good mood so he continued.

"Did you hop on a plane in the middle of the Atlantic?" he said smiling.

"Fucking hilarious Man," the first mate said shoving the clipboard back at the ship inspector.

Another crewman, only barely getting his sealegs came over just as the first mate was leaving.

"What's gotten up his a–"

"I was just asking your buddy there why you guys showed up so early," the inspector interrupted.

The shipmate shrugged.

"We have no idea what happened. We boarded a bunch of cars, then once the last one, a beautiful black 1920's Bentley was boarded the ship started going fast,"

"Huh, that's odd,"

"We didn't even bother changing the time on board,"

"Huh,"

"Don't mind Mike, he's just cranky because we left so early and with what was going on he didn't get a chance to nap,"

"Alrighty then,"

* * *

Crowley and Aziraphale had decided to take a plane. They would've taken the Bentley but there was an ocean between America and England.

"Do you think I could take the window seat dear?"

"Sure angel," Crowley said as he boarded the plane.

Aziraphale gave Crowley a weak smile. Crowley returned it.

"Not much of an angel anymore,"

"You've still got your wings,"

"They don't work, and you have to hide them for me,"

"You're still an angel,"

"I fell," Aziraphale said smiling that weak smile again. A tear ran down his cheek. Crowley wiped it away waiting for the burning sensation on his fingertips. It never came.

"You aren't a demon," Crowley said taking Aziraphale's arm and leading him aboard the plane.

"But I'm not an angel anymore. I can't feel God watching me, or taking care of me, or making sure we're okay. It's gone," Aziraphale whispered.

"Angel," Crowley said dejectedly.

"I'm not," Aziraphale said sitting down and opening the little slide thing on the window. He stared blankly outside.

Crowley stood in the aisle feeling helpless. He knew exactly what he needed to say, what he wanted to say.

'You'll always be an angel to me,'

Seven simple words. Crowley opened his mouth to say them but just as soon he found it closing shut.

He sat down beside the angel and stared ahead at the back of the seat in front of him.

Meanwhile, the Bentley made its way to the airport on its own. Crowley was expecting it to be waiting for him at the airport.

* * *

While the Bentley made its way from New York to the airport, Castiel was attempting to hitchhike. Of course, it was not working. Would you pick up a disheveled, stranger in a trench coat and backwards tie in the middle of the night? (assuming you didn't know he was an angel?)

Castiel continued his hike whispering the address of the last hotel Dean and Sam had been every once in a while. Surely they'd stay there waiting for him, or at the very least, there he could figure out where they'd gone.

The angels had stopped falling a few hours ago, but it felt like lifetimes ago. He was tired. He felt like collapsing, but mostly, he felt betrayed, he felt hurt, and most horrible of all, he felt guilty. He doubted anything he did could make this go away.

* * *

Sam was laying on the backseat of the Impala, Dean was in the driver's seat.

"We have to find Cas,"

"No, what we have to do i-is think about this alright Dean?"

"Sammy, Cas just fell, or worse, he's still up there with Metatron thinking everything is okay and his brothers will be up any minute, or maybe Metatron's even torturing him like that bitch Naomi did. Didn't Sam understand they NEEDED to find Castiel now?

"Dean, Cas will be alright, he knows where we are, he knows what motel we're staying at, he speaks lots of languages, so don't worry. Cas is like all those animals in Homeward Bound alright? He'll find his way home. Come on, if you really want to help Cas, let's go back into town, leave our number anywhere Cas might wander into, and then get back to the motel."

"What about Crowley?" Dean asked pointing back at the church where Crowley had been on his knees praying for absolution.

"Let him be, I doubt he can cause any trouble as a not-much-of-a-demon," Sam said as he sat up.

* * *

The next morning was the first day after the Angels had fallen. Aziraphale and Crowley had landed and were walking out to the parking lot.

"Would you like me to hail a cab Crowley? Or rent a car?"

"Nah, I had the Bentley shipped over."

"Ah." Aziraphale said seeing the black car parked on a curb near a sign that said 'No parking here anytime'. They got in the car and drove away, Crowley was extra careful not to violate any traffic laws since violation of traffic laws causes accidents and accidents are likely to cause bodily harm to the humans involved and Aziraphale seemed to be human.

Crowley and Aziraphale drove through towns as Crowley continued to follow the sort of distress signal beam the other Crowley had been giving off. It was getting dark again and although they only had miles to go to meet with the Winchesters, Crowley felt a lot farther away. What would he do once he found them, what would he say, what would they do, could they help?

"Stop the car,"

"What?"

"STOP THE CAR!"

"What?! What?! What is it?!" Crowley asked but gave in anyways.

Crowley began applying the brakes but that apparently wasn't fast enough for Aziraphale who was opening the door and jumping out.

"Aziraphale!"

Aziraphale however paid him no mind; he was too busy yelling,

"Hey you! Sir! Man! Turn around!" he yelled at the figure ahead of him. He appeared to be cloaked in a trench coat. He turned around tiredly and looked amazed at what he saw.

"Aziraphale?"

"Yes, yes it's me! Castiel! Oh my goodness it's been ages!" Aziraphale said finally reaching the figure and wrapping his arms around him. Castiel hugged back after a beat and the pair began laughing excitedly (on the verge of hysteria) and talking in a language long forgotten by humans but still remembered by the pair.

"What are you doing out here? Are you alright? I saw the rest of them falling,"

"I'm fine. Are you alright? Metatron took my Grace and threw me down here a few towns over. It's all my fault Aziraphale, I'm so sorry,"

"Shush dear, it's not your fault, I'm sure you had good intentions. Besides, I was down here when it happened, can't really make an angel Fall too hard if they're already on the floor right?"

Castiel smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry Aziraphale,"

"Oh for goodness sakes dear, don't worry about whatever happened alright? No one blames you, now come on you look awful. Have you eaten since you fell? And slept, have you slept? Where are you headed, I'm sure we can give you a lift?" Aziraphale asked bringing the ex-angel over to the Bentley.

Crowley watched over the rims of his sunglasses. The angel had a fondness for taking in random strangers and helping them out so Crowley was used to this.

"Crowley, this is Castiel. He needs a ride" Aziraphale said simply opening the door and gesturing for Castiel to get in the back.

"Crowley?" Castiel asked quizzically.

"Yeah Castiel, Anthony J. Crowley,"

"Crowley dear, Castiel needs food, and water and a little rest couldn't hurt."

Crowley snapped his fingers and on the backseat next to Castiel appeared a basket with sandwiches and bottled water and soft blue tartan pillow.

"Maybe the two of you should get some rest," he said as another one of those soft blue pillows appeared in Aziraphale's lap.

* * *

So, I have about two chapters worth of plot for this maybe, unless I find a plot within it somewhere else. I want to make it nice though so it may be a while.


	3. Windsor Knots

Author's Note: AGH! I don't even know what. I just really like the idea of Crowley being so upset with what Castiel did that he kills him so yeah. Should I say more? Nah.

Warnings: Assault. A thinly veiled reference to Carry On My Wayward Son see if you can spot it?

Disclaimer: If these people were my people I'd have a billion pictures of them all over my laptop. But I don't. I have the regular hundreds.

* * *

Crowley listened to the soft music playing on the radio and wondered vaguely why the kid should carry on.

The sun began to rise behind the car and Aziraphale's eyes fluttered open.

"Morning Aziraphale," Crowley said. He'd noticed the flutter.

"Hello dear," Aziraphale said sitting up more properly in his seat. He realized there was a blanket draped around him. He glanced back to check on Castiel and saw there was one for him too. Although Castiel's was more haphazardly tossed on and covering half his sleeping face, as though whoever had given it to him only did so as a second thought.

"You started shivering in your sleep," Crowley muttered cheeks turning a slight embarrassed pink.

"Oh," Aziraphale said. He smiled. Now that he wasn't an angel, Crowley would have to be the one doing good deeds. He glanced back at Castiel one more time and sighed. The poor dear. Aziraphale remembered the many times they'd met in heaven or here on earth and how the other angel had always been worried about something he'd done, something he thought was wrong, or a small moment of rebellion. He always had a look of worried concern on his face but Aziraphale was always able to wipe it away with a joke or a story.

Crowley glanced at Aziraphale. The ex-angel had a soft smile on his face as he watched the figure in the backseat.

Crowley cleared his throat.

Aziraphale realized he'd been watching for rather a long time and was startled from his memories.

"You know," Crowley said "They say people look the most like angels when they're sleeping."

Aziraphale glanced back once more and smiled back at Crowley.

"I think they're right," he said

Crowley smirked. He got the angel where he wanted him.

"You didn't look any different while you were asleep," he declared, eyes focused on the road. From the corner of his eye's he saw Aziraphale smile shyly.

They sat in amiable silence for a few more moments before Castiel woke up.

"How long was I asleep?" he asked groggily wiping his eyes.

"Regular 8 hours," Crowley answered.

"Regular eight hours!?" Castiel and Aziraphale exclaimed.

"Calm down," Crowley said frowning at their sudden outburst, "Humans usually sleep anywhere from 8 to 12 hours on their own. It's normal! Something about circadian rhythms," Crowley said waving his hand around.

"Twelve hours is almost a full day!" Castiel exclaimed

"Eight hours is a third of a day!" Aziraphale calculated

"We shouldn't be asleep for so long!" Castiel said head in hands

"That's inhumane!" Aziraphale cried desperately

"That's not the right use of the word Zirah," Crowley reminded.

The angels sat moping over the loss of time.

"I guess I should have known. How many times have I watched Dean sleep?" Castiel finally said.

"Yes, and how many times have I seen Crowley pass out into a drunken sleep after drinks?"

Crowley nodded. He decided not to mention having slept through a century, it might scare them into never sleeping.

"So are you going to explain to me what's going on here angel?" Crowley asked Aziraphale.

"Yes of course dear. Castiel was an Angel." Aziraphale said simply.

"I know, no one names their kid Castiel except in heaven." Crowley said.

"Well, he was God for a while." Aziraphale said searching his memories for information about Castiel.

"Interesting." Crowley wondered if Cas had heard his prayers.

"He killed the Archangels," Aziraphale couldn't remember if it was all of them or just Rafael.

"I never liked those smug arseholes." Crowley felt a growing sense of respect towards the former angel

"The Winchesters are his friends,"

Crowley parked the Bentley on the side of the road and jumped into the back seat hissing daemonic curses at him and clawing at the ex-angels tie and coat. Aziraphale pulled him back before any damage was done.

"As a demon I understand you're upset with what they're trying to do about the gates of Hell Anthony, but please, try to understand this from their point of view," Castiel said rearranging himself on the backseat.

"I don't give a rat's behind with what they're doing with hell," Crowley hissed, "I've been up here too long. I'm basically for all intents and purposes human. I'm not going to get recalled if they close hell." Crowley continued "I'll probably be the only one left up here." Crowley declared (rather proudly at that).

"Oh," Castiel replied (Rather dumbfoundedly. How many other demons had become basically human? Had any Angels?).

"Those damn Winchesters felled the angels. Idiots can't get demons separated from angels, no wonder there's so much shit going on lately."

"Actually dear," Aziraphale tried interjecting.

"No Zirah, it's not fair, you fell and you weren't supposed to." Crowley said

"But dear, it was actually the Metatron who fell us." Aziraphale explained.

There was a moment of quiet before Crowley grinned

"I knew that guy was too high and mighty for the job, Pestilence owes me 20 bucks."

"It was my fault I helped him Anthony," Castiel tried confessing. He also would rather not mention Pestilence.

"You helped fell yourself?!" Crowley said. Now he was thoroughly confused.

"I thought I was closing the gates of heaven! I just wanted to fix it! It's all gone to hell up there. Er."

They sat in an awkward silence before Crowley spoke again.

"Very funny Castiel," Crowley muttered.

"It was an accident," Castiel replied, a look of desperation running across his face.

"Sure," Crowley replied.

"Are you mad dear?" Aziraphale asked concerned.

"No," Crowley said.

"Don't attack Castiel again." Aziraphale warned

"I wasn't going to!" Crowley protested. The ex-angel obviously had no faith in him.

"You were pulling over to the side of the road again dear." Aziraphale noted.

"He made you fall!" Crowley cried.

"You laughed," Aziraphale muttered.

"It was a pretty funny way to fall," Crowley said smiling at the memory.

"Yes but it hurt," Aziraphale said in a very hurt voice.

Here, Castiel began to wonder what their 'deal' was.

"I know, and I'm sorry," Crowley said still smiling slightly.

"You're doing it again!" Aziraphale whined.

"You fell out of your chair!" Crowley said laughing gently.

"And then my wings," Aziraphale said sadly.

"Oh please, you've still got them it's just you can't use them," Crowley said brushing it off.

"Exactly, how do you think that makes me feel?! I can't even hide them, you have to! I think this might be a worse punishment."

"I don't mind, besides, like I was saying, Castiel made you fall,"

"He didn't know what he was doing! He had faith in the Metatron, honestly we all had a little faith in the guy. He was the Voice of God!" Aziraphale stopped here and begrudgingly corrected "Well you know, not the 'voice of God' but the sort of Presidential Spokesman,"

Crowley nodded, he knew who the Metatron was.

"Anyways, we all believed him! You can't get mad at Castiel for it. He was just trying to help. Do you know how many times he's tried to help with the situation in heaven? A lot. The rest of us either here on earth or up in heaven either ignore it or make it worse! He's trying to do the right thing. He has good intentions! He means well! It's not his fault he always gets screwed over by people he trusts!" Aziraphale defended.

Crowley looked into the rearview mirror. Castiel looked desolate. To tell you the truth, he looked terrible, he looked run down, tired, guilty, upset, betrayed, raggedy, suicidal, and worried. The worry was taking over his features and straining his eyes, making them look dull and old and empty. Crowley thought that maybe Castiel and he weren't so different. They'd both meant well, they just kept hanging around the wrong people.

"Okay, Aziraphale. I understand." Crowley said.

Aziraphale had been ready to fight tooth and nail in defense of his friend and so when Crowley had backed down so suddenly he was surprised.

"Thank you dear," Aziraphale said happily patting Crowley's knee.

"Not like I won't take a swing at the Winchesters, their stupid Demon curing woke me up, AND interrupted Golden Girls,"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale chided before swatting the demon's arm.

"What does the J. stand for?" Castiel asked from the back

"You see? This guy asks the important questions," Crowley said smirking "It stands for 'None of your Business Angel'," Crowley said before stepping on the gas a little bit more. He doubted the universe would allow Crowley to be responsible for the death of two ex-angels. All was quiet for a little while and Crowley wondered vaguely if he should turn up the volume.

"No it doesn't," Castiel remarked.

"Actually in all probability it does. He told me that's what it stood for when I asked him too." Aziraphale said. Crowley drowned out their voices with Queen.

After a few more miles Crowley parked the car. He got out much to the panicked protest of both Aziraphale and Castiel. He walked around to the backseat where Castiel was sitting, opened the door, pulled the ex-angel out stood him up and removed his tie.

"Crowley what are you doing?!" Aziraphale said getting out of the car and trying to remove Crowley's arms from around his ex-angel friend's neck. Castiel struggled and tried to get away from Crowley.

"Calm down angelsss," Crowley hissed trying to get Castiel to stop moving away from him.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked as Crowley expertly tied a Windsor knot.

"I'm fixing your tie; it was getting on my nerves," Crowley said patting the tie and looking into Castiel's eyes. They were a shade darker than Aziraphale's but still hauntingly beautiful. They weren't so empty either. They were filled with a will to live, to survive, to escape the demon's clutches. Except you know, all the demon was doing was fixing a tie.

He got back into the Bentley and the ex-angels stared. Crowley beeped his horn and stuck his head out the window.

"Are we leaving or what?!" he asked crankily.

"Your demon friend is in all probability insane Aziraphale," Castiel remarked before getting in.

"Just a bit,"

* * *

Author's Note: Of course i wouldn't kill Castiel. No, i have too many plot bunnies roaming around my head. This whole thing might just end up being plotless fluff and humor and occasional angst since I really have no idea what I want them to do about the Angels falling. I know how I want the show to give back Cas's Grace but I have no idea how I want them to deal with stuff here. (shrugs shoulders here). Ooo, maybe Aziraphale and Crowley will go on a hunt. Hahaha, maybe.


	4. As Fast as He Can

Author's Note: I like this chapter. Then again I say that about every chapter basically. I wish I could draw the car scene here but I can't draw to save my life so no hopes there. I might try though.

Warnings: Obvious references to HIMYM although I doubt Sam and Dean ever had time to watch it or care enough to watch it. Also Obvious references to Bohemian Rhapsody, if you know where to look (so are they still obvious?). I spent the day I wrote this note revising the following three chapters and listening to Bohemian Rhapsody on repeat instead of productive stuff. What else? What else? Oh right, I'm a short chapter today.

Disclaimer: Not my stuff, none of it, not my angels, not my ex-angels, not my demons, not my books, not my t.v. show, not my Winchesters, not my Bentley, Most certainly not my song or lyrics. Whatever's left is in all probability not cool enough to belong to anyone else so it is mine.

* * *

Dean was getting impatient. Of course it had only been three days. Then again, it had been three days!

"Dean, stop pacing," Sam said from a couch in the bunker. Sam had only a few hours ago convinced Dean to move to the Bunker to wait for Castiel. They'd left a note in the motel room, a note with the manager, a note on the motel room door and a sign was posted outside the door of the motel's office informing Castiel that they'd gone to the bunker. And yet, even as they were leaving Dean still lingered. He drove once around the motel parking lot in hopes of wasting more time.

_'Any minute now Cas is going to walk over and he's going to be so mad at us for almost leaving,' _Dean had told Sam. Sam had simply groaned and told Dean to drive away. Eventually Dean did drive away.

"I can't help it," Dean whined (in a very manly fashion.).

Sam stared up at Dean desperate to comfort his brother. Maybe a television reference would help?

"Let me tell you a story. There was this girl who was on her way to her parent's house and she was late so she was speeding like twenty miles over the speed limit or something. And a cop pulled her over and he saunters up to her window and he said, 'young lady, I have been waiting for you all day,' and the girl said, 'I know officer I tried to get here as fast as I could,' and then—"

"Sam, I don't have time for your thinly veiled How I Met Your Mother references,"

"My point is, Cas is getting here as fast as he can. Alright. I'd bet he's even speeding like the chic was,"

Dean stood silently for a few moments. His shoulders drooped and Sam thought maybe he could finally get his brother to relax. For three days Dean had been worried for his brother's well-being and for the well-being of their celestial companion. Now on this third day, Sam had woken up feeling positively healthy and fine (hmmm… he rose again on the third day?). All of the worry that had been directed at Sam was being redirected at Cas. Sam thought though that maybe now all the worry, or at least the irrational worry, could go away. Suddenly Dean began pacing again. Sam groaned. They'd been playing this game for an hour now.

"What is it this time?"

"Cas can't drive,"

* * *

And it was true, Castiel couldn't drive. Neither could Aziraphale. Angels usually couldn't. (They didn't see the need most of the time. After all they had wings.) But Crowley could, and one of the demon's favorite things to do was go over the speed limit. He was feeling more confident in his driving (like he said, the universe wouldn't entrust him with two ex-angels and then have him kill them)and Aziraphale was feeling better because Crowley was breaking traffic laws. The only person who wasn't so happy was Castiel and that was because he was sure he was going to die.

Basically, if you had driven past Crowley's Bentley, you would've heard the roar of the engine as it shot past you and maybe you'd catch a glimpse of a dark-haired person driving the car leering over the rim of his sunglasses and you would've sworn his eyes were a golden yellow color and resembled a snake's eyes. You may have become terrified because the man had the most insane look on his face. You could tell, this guy was positively mad, his eyes blazed with dangerous glee and he had the scariest cross of a smirk and a grin you'd ever seen in your life. He was also singing along to the music playing.

"If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters!" you could have sworn you heard him screech.

In the passenger seat you would've maybe caught sight of a golden-haired gentleman who positively reeked English vibes and looked gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide carefully examining his well-manicured hands almost unawares of the fact that the car was being driven by some crazy guy and that his life was almost certainly in danger. In fact you might have seen him mumble something along the lines of

"Body's aching all the time," and you could've guessed he was probably singing along.

If you'd had the time to check the backseat you would have noticed another dark-haired man sitting clenching the seat with both hands until his knuckles turned white, a slight green tint on his face, sweating profusely eyes wild with fear looking like he was praying as fast as he could in hopes of saving his life. In fact he might have even been muttering something along the lines of,

"I don't want to die," and you woulod have figured this guy wasn't singing along but meant it with all his heart and soul.

But if you had caught any of that, you would've laughed at yourself and gone on your way because after all, it all sounds quite ridiculous.

* * *

Author's Note: I have decided that this will in fact be just a bunch of useless stories strung together of their interactions with one another. So. If you were hoping for a cool plot where they beat the shit out of the Metatron you've come to the wrong place, just fluff and slight angst and humor here.


	5. Are You There Cas? It's Me, Dean

Author's Note: Hi! This chapter is basically just a little one I put in so that instead of going to the Motel and meeting there they meet at the bunker. It saves me from having to write a bunch of 'Oh no! Dean and Sam aren't here!' 'Let's look around,' chapters and we can finally get to the nitty gritty relationshippy interactiony stuff. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Kappa Taicho. Thank you so much for all your reviews Kappa!

Disclaimer: You know the drill. This ain't my people. I don't profit off of it in anyway. I write to relieve the plot bunnies that breed within me. (That sounds weird.)

Warnings: Just a prayer.

* * *

Are You There Cas? It's Me Dean.729

Dean slid down the wall of the bunker. Sam had long gone out, leaving Dean to freak out alone. Dean was tired of pacing, he felt helpless, there was nothing he could do. Nothing. It used to be if Dean was ever worried about Cas, Dean could at least pray to him and feel better because he knew that at least those messages were getting to him when nothing else did.

Now, he couldn't even pray.

He was getting frustrated now. He banged his fist against the wall. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. He didn't know what went wrong, where Castiel was, or if he was even alive for that matter, everything was falling apart. All he wanted to do was pray to Cas, for comfort, but he knew Cas wouldn't hear.

He sighed and closed his eyes before leaning his head back

'Hey Cas, I know you probably can't hear me. I just really need to talk. I miss you, a lot. I know I seemed pretty upset with you before you left, I'm sorry I didn't go with you but, Sam needed me. I wish I had gone with you, or at least convinced you not to go. Well, this isn't exactly going how I planned.

'Any who, just come home safe alright Cas? Just get back to me alive. Just come home Cas. I-I-I lo-lost too much already in my life, I don't need to lose you too. Please Cas, just come back to us. We need you. I need you.

'Be safe, be careful of strangers, they're the worst people. Also when it gets dark take a nap or sleep or something. Eat three times a day, drink water whenever your mouth feels dry.'

Dean began to chuckle. He felt like a mother hen,

'Listen to me giving human lessons to you. What else is there? Walk on the sidewalk, look both ways before you cross the street, ask for help once you get somewhere.

'We've been to three towns closest to the motel and looked for you everywhere but you weren't around, and actually we've gone to the bunker so we're not in the motel anymore, it was Sam's idea…'

Here Dean paused, he had no idea what else there was still left to say.

'Cas, come home soon.'

'It was Sam's idea… Cas, come home soon.'

Castiel had thought it was just a memory of an old prayer, but this one was new, this one he had never heard before.

Just as suddenly as it had appeared it was gone. Castiel's mind grasped for it, it wanted to hear the prayer one more time, it wanted to hear Dean's voice again, it wanted to feel Dean's soul laid there bare for Castiel to see, to find the truth behind every word.

Dean was worried, that much was apparent. He was concerned, worry and concern often go together, he was sad, he was longing, he was sorry, he was desperate.

He was waiting.

"Anthony,"

"Please Castiel, call me Crowley, I was the original after all," said turning down the music

_'Nothing really matters to me,'_ the song faded.

"Crowley the Winchesters are at this address," Castiel said before spewing out an address, "Take us there,"

In Crowley's mental map of the world the address seemed empty. He mentioned it to Castiel.

"It'll look like there's nothing there but it's where their Bunker is located,"

"So they aren't at the church?" Crowley asked.

"Not anymore, they have no reason to be,"

"Alright," Crowley shrugged, he knew better than to question angels, they usually know what's going on, "We're actually fairly close, another half hour probably but, it's morning and you guys haven't eaten breakfast," Crowley said before snapping his fingers. Two Styrofoam cups of coffee and two of Cocoa appeared in the Bentley's cup holders. He asked Castiel if he preferred Cocoa or Coffee.

"Coffee please, I've been acquiring a taste," Castiel said. Crowley took a cup in hand and turned around to give it to the ex-angel. Just as it passed from Crowley's hand (while the Bentley continued driving in a perfectly straight line mind you) into Castiel's the cup changed into Castiel's preferred choice of Coffee (almost as though the cup knew just what the holder wanted even if the holder didn't.). He thanked Crowley who told him to never mention it again.

"Any special requests for Breakfast?" Crowley asked as they arrived into a small town a few miles away from their destination. Crowley could almost smell the Winchesters, one of them smelled of car leather.

"Actually, can we stop by a grocery store? I need to make a small purchase."

* * *

Author's Note: Care to guess what he needs to buy? Review if you have time. :)


	6. Apology Pie

Author's Note: Wow, one right after the other. This one is more as per requested by Aldrizzt. I hope you like it!

Warnings: Not much in the way of warnings.

Disclaimer: you're loopey if you think I created these people.

* * *

The woman behind the cash register looked up and saw three men walk into her store. Two of them were well dressed and clean while the other looked like a homeless person. Well, actually, now that she looked at him more closely and after the dark-haired man in the suit, sunglasses, and good cheekbones straightened out the homeless man's trench coat, he did actually look rather presentable. She had no idea why she mistook him for homeless. (nor did she have any idea why she thought that if it was obvious this man had just showered [Like I said, Crowley has to do the good deeds now, he has sole powers among the three])

The obviously gay British man and the man in sunglasses walked over to the fruit section and began debating the merits of the 5 different varieties of apples offered. (She could've sworn he heard something about how Eve thought Granny Smiths were too sour and that Adam hated Pink Ladies. She brushed it off as coincidence.).

While she was watching the pair (whom she had dubbed Brit and Sunglasses) in amusement she heard someone clear their throat in front of her. She turned and noticed the man in the trench-coat holding a small box tightly. She'd call him Trench coat in her head.

"Yes may I help you?"

"Where is your bakery?" Trench coat asked politely

"It's in the back corner," she offered pointing it out.

Trench coat thanked her but she stopped him.

"I'm afraid no one's working there right now sweetie, they don't get in until later,"

"But, you don't understand I need them to be there," Trench coat said desperately. It was almost as though he believed that if he explained he needed something everything would magically work out for him. The woman was beginning to think this man probably had a slight mental illness.

"Well, I'm sure I can help you," she said glancing around and finding that except for the three men the store was empty. It was usually that way on Tuesdays

"Come along sweetie," she said leaving her post and heading for the bakery in the back. She tied on an apron and smiled at him gently.

"What is it you needed?"

Trench coat handed her the box proudly "This is a gift for a friend, will you write something on it please?"

The white box had a rumpled appearance and was almost completely caved in on one side from where Trench coat had gripped it so tightly.

"Sure," the woman said and opened the box. She went to get her icing stuff and when she returned she asked the Trench coat another question.

"Alright, what kind of icing would you like?"

"What kind does one usually use?" Trench coat asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

The woman thought about it for a second.

"We don't usually write things on pies so I wouldn't know. How about you just choose a color?"

Trench coat scanned his eyes across all the icings and pointed to a green one.

"That one, please," Trench coat said.

"What shall it say?" the woman asked uncapping the tube.

"I'm sorry," Trench coat said.

"That's what you want on the pie?" the woman asked making sure she had heard correctly.

"Yes, it's my apology pie," Trench Coat said simply.

The woman asked if that would be all and Trench coat asked if he could add one more thing. So the woman let him come around and add his finishing touch.

Trench coat and the woman (whose name Trench Coat found out was Alice and Alice had found out Trench coat's name was Castiel) walked away from the bakery back toward the Cash register. Castiel, formerly known as Trench Coat, now carrying a much nicer white box, was so focused on carrying it carefully he hadn't noticed he bumped into a cereal display until it was too late.

"Castiel, watch out!" Brit warned. Sunglasses simply sighed and snapped his fingers. Miraculously the display did not fall apart.

Castiel paid for his pie and left the store without any more accidents.

Alice thought they were the oddest people ever to enter her store.

Crowley stopped the Bentley.

"We're here," he said as the Bentley shifted itself into park.

The three stepped out of the car and walked to the bunker door. The Impala was outside the bunker with a cover over it.

Castiel started getting nervous.

"Do I look okay?" he asked Aziraphale.

"Crowley cleaned you up at the grocery store, you look fine," Aziraphale said giving him an encouraging smile. He turned to Crowley and gave him a glare.

"Crowley don't you dare do anything demonic," he scolded.

"Wasn't planning on it," Crowley said looking curiously at the car shaped thing near the bunker. He realized it was emanating the same kind of mojo as Tadfield had once upon apocalypse. It reeked of love. His interest in it was now peaked as the ex-angels knocked on the door. A tree-man answered, a weeping-willow-tree-man judging by his hair.

"Cas," he said and a huge smile spread across his face. He pulled the man towards him for a hug. Castiel quickly handed the apology pie to Aziraphale and hugged back murmuring something.

"Don't even go apologizing Cas, you're here now and that's all that matters," Weeping-willow-tree-man said. Crowley sauntered over to the happy little reunion. He'd check out the car later.

"Come in you guys," Weeping-willow-tree-man said stepping aside so they could all enter. Aziraphale handed back the apology pie to Castiel.

"Sam, this is Aziraphale and Anthony J 'None of Your Business Angel' Crowley."

"Crowley?" Sam asked quizzically.

"Is that seriously the only thing you guys hear?" Crowley asked exasperated.

"It's nice to meet you Sam," Aziraphale said a bit more respectfully and sweetly.

Suddenly another slightly shorter tree walked in. Crowley decided that this must be the effect of being born in America. Everyone was the size of a small tree. (And in the case of the Winchesters, large trees.) Castiel seemed to be the only normal sized person. Crowley was glad since he and Aziraphale were about Castiel's height.

"C-c-cas?" the new tree asked.

"Hello Dean," Castiel said.

Dean ran over to Castiel and embraced him tightly.

"Don't leave again, ever, do you understand me? Don't you dare leave my sight," Dean murmured into Castiel's hair. Castiel pushed him away and frowned at the hurt look on Dean's face.

"Forgive me for pushing you away but you were squishing your apology pie," Castiel said opening the box and showing him the now ruined pie. One could still make out the words "I'm sorry," and the little blue-eyed frowny face that followed it. You better damn well believe that pie had a frowny face on it! In fact:

"I asked to make the sad face," Castiel explained to Dean.

* * *

Author's Note: :D Review if you have the time.


	7. Apology Pie Reunion

**Author's Note**: This isn't really a continuation chapter, it backtracks a bit. Also, I dedicate this chapter along with Apology Pie to the lovely who requested I have them meet up already. (I'm sorry it took so many chapters)

**Warnings**: hugs and apology pie

**Disclaimer:** The apology pie belongs to me. Well, it belongs to Cas, but it was my idea.

* * *

"Dean?" Sam asked as he returned from his trip to town. Dean immediately appeared from his room a little bit flushed.

"Yeah what's up?" he asked.

"What were you doing?"

"Googling funny cat videos," Dean growled. His eyes dared Sam to ask for a better explanation.

"Seriously?" Sam asked immune to the look Dean was shooting him, "You seriously expect me to believe that?"

Dean shrugged.

"Yeah, pretty much,"

"Jerk,"

"Bitch," Dean retorted.

Maybe Dean was starting to get better.

"So, what'd you get?" Dean asked gesturing to the bag

"Lettuce, tomato—"

"Unless the next word is bacon and you're planning on making me a BLT, I don't want to hear it,"

"No bacon, but I did bring ground beef," Sam said pulling out a package of the aforementioned meat.

"Nice, but we have no grill,"

"We have a stove. Besides, it's healthier baked,"

Dean groaned.

"It could've been salad," Sam reminded him before going into the kitchen.

Dean followed him.

"Any word on Castiel?" Dean asked. He knew it was stupid to have asked since Sam would've told him by now if there was any but he still felt the need to ask.

"Nope, sorry" Sam said pulling out various bowls and ingredients. For a bunch of men, the bunker had been well stocked. (You know, with utensils. In the way of food, completely useless.)

"Well, call me back in when you're done," Dean said going outside to work on the Impala. He felt a weight lifting off his shoulders as he settled in and focused on the Impala and the tools in his hands. He was so intensely focused that when Sam had called him in the first time he almost hadn't heard.

They ate in friendly silence and when they were done Dean offered to help Sam do the dishes.

"Yeah right," Sam scoffed teasingly "The last you helped 'clean'the dishes, I spent another hour cleaning up all the bubbles and foam you started tossing at me," Sam said shooing Dean out of the kitchen. Having nothing else to do, Dean decided to go to his room. As he passed Castiel's old room, he stiffened. He'd gotten the angel out of his mind for a few hours while working and eating dinner with Sam. Of course, during that time there was a nagging worry about the angel's whereabouts but it had been a dull ache instead of what he was feeling now.

Whenever Castiel was absent, Dean felt a low quiet dull ache and anxiety. Never had it been this bad, never had it been a full-fledged and active panic. Now, it was. Dean was anxious and nervous and worried and uneasy. He felt he couldn't relax. Suddenly he felt he couldn't breathe. He stumbled into his own room, away from Castiel's pristine albeit dusty room, away from the memories it held. A thought he hadn't allowed himself to think meandered across his mind.

Why would Cas abandon him like that?

He pushed the sudden abandonment and heartache away and scoffed.

Cas hadn't abandoned him, he had his reasons, the angel always had reasons for leaving. He always did. He never wanted to abandon Dean, he was forced to. He needed to do his duty. He needed to fix his home. He needed to help his brothers. Castiel had not abandoned Dean. His angel would never do that to him.

These episodes of panic happened sometimes to Dean, and he would always tell himself that Castiel had not abandoned him but the feelings would never be soothed until Castiel showed up with a 'Hello Dean,' on his lips.

Dean took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes. They popped open again as he felt something stir in his chest. Was it possible?

He got up to open his door and stepped out into the hall.

* * *

Sam was wiping dry the last of the dishes. It had taken him about half an hour to clean them off. Much less time than it had the last time Dean had helped. Sam growled and muttered things under his breath as he recalled dean throwing foam with surprising accuracy right into his eyes and laughing all the while.

"He wouldn't think it was so funny if he'd gotten an eyeful of soap himself," Sam thought.

He heard sharp rapping at the door. Realizing it was the secret knock Sam turned around bewildered. Had Dean gone outside? Sam spied the Dean's keys to the bunker on the table and shook his head. Sometimes it was hard to believe Sam was the younger brother when Dean did things as stupid as this. He pulled off his apron (it had once been white and frilly and Dean had teased him about it to no end but, Sam had been able to undo the stitching of the frills and it looked much more manly now [except it still had those light pink embroidered roses across the chest]) and headed for the door.

He frowned as he unlocked the door and as he opened it he was about to give his brother a stern talking to when he realized that the blue eyes and dark hair that stared back at him didn't belong to his brother.

Sam's smile could have lit up New York.

"Cas," he stated quietly, wondering if the angel before him was real. He pulled Cas into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Sam, it's all my fault, my brothers fell, and I know I've caused Dean great worry and—"

Sam let out a small chuckle, "Don't even go apologizing Cas, you're here now and that's all that matters," he assured.

Cas smiled thankfully, seemingly relieved that at least one of the brothers wasn't mad.

Sam finally saw the other two figures with Castiel. One was a very obvious homosexual British man with glasses (spectacles was actually the word that came to mind but Sam thought that maybe that was just because it sounded more English to him, although God knows Sam knew very little about the English) and golden blonde hair. His blue eyes seemed to match those of Castiel's except they were a shade brighter. Still he could see traces of divinity and fondness for the human race like he could sometimes in Castiel's. The other man had dark hair, even darker than Castiel's but not quite yet dark enough to call bluish. He had a much better sense of style than the blonde-haired man (Maybe a lack of popular style is what identified the angels?) with his dark expensive looking suit and tie properly knotted. Sam couldn't see this man's eyes because they were hidden behind sunglasses (although the sun had already begun to set).

He shot a look at Castiel as if asking if they were safe and Dean's angel nodded (which he'll admit is an odd way of thinking of Cas but once the thought was out, there was no denying it. Cas was in fact Dean's angel).

Sam smiled warmly when he caught sight of the Bentley. That's how they'd gotten here. He KNEW it! Also, Sam couldn't help but think that the newcomers and Dean would get along fairly well with a car like that. Sam saw as Aziraphale handed Castiel a box but was distracted from asking what it was as Castiel began introductions.

"Sam," Castiel said motioning towards the two people, "This is Aziraphale,"

Sam nodded. He had been right, this guy was an Angel.

"And Anthony—"

Sam was surprised by the human name. He had thought this guy was an angel to, or at least of angel stock.

"—J. 'None Of Your Business Angel' Crowley," Castiel finished.

Sam wondered about the long name and figured that they hadn't known that Castiel did not understand jokes or sarcasm when his attention diverted to the last name.

Sam squinted his eyes and furrowed his brow wondering if he had heard correctly.

"Crowley?" he asked.

"Is that ssseriously the only thing you guys hear?" came the response from the.. he didn't know what Anthony was. Wait was that hissing or just his imagination?

"It's nice to meet you Sam," the angel Aziraphale said. Sam turned his attention away from Anthony and realized Aziraphale had a hand out. Sam took it and shook it politely.

Sam's eyes lit up again as he glanced at Castiel who was looking (a bit anxiously) around for someone. He was about to excuse himself to get Dean when who should walk out of his room but the righteous man himself.

* * *

"C-c-cas?" Dean asked, wondering if he was hallucinating. He thought back to how much he'd drunk that night and knew it was not enough to make him see things. He hardly noticed the other people in the room as the mirage before him smiled, slightly relieved.

"Hello Dean," it said shyly, almost apologetically and began to hug a box it had in it's hand almost as though hiding itself behind it. That was when Dean realized. This wasn't an illusion, it was really Cas.

He rushed over to the figure and hugged him tightly. Words could not express how relieved he was at having the angel close to him and safe.

"Don't leave again, EVER, do you understand me?" Dean ordered as he turned his face into Castiel's soft hair. The words came mumbled now. "Don't you dare leave my sight," he said taking in every small detail of Cas's figure. But the angel didn't hug him back. Instead he pushed Dean away. Dean was suddenly filled with hurt and sadness. He hadn't expected that.

He watched Cas frown and tilt his head to the side. He blinked and spoke.

"Forgive me for pushing you away," Castiel said as he opened the box he'd been holding, "but you were squishing your apology pie,"

Dean looked down into the box and saw the broken remains of an apple pie. He could see green words iced on the crust and tried to read the almost illegible cursive script.

'I'm sorry, ' it read. It was followed by a white circle with two blue dots and a white upside down 'u'. Dean realized it was a sad face. He looked up at the angel with a questioning look on his face.

Castiel quickly explained

"I asked to make the sad face," he said as if it would explain all the questions running through Dean's mind.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I took the liberty of making this chapter the Winchester perspective of Apology pie since you know, the whole story so far is more of Crowley's perspective than really everyone else's. I hope I get better at keeping them in character (I do this by reading fanfictions as research and seeing what works and what doesn't) and I hope I get away from using just Crowley's perspective all the time. Also, sorry for not posting this yesterday, I had a case of writer's block (although i only had to basically rewrite what happened in Apology Pie) and i just felt really disinterested in everything. So, sorry. :D Forgive me with a review?


	8. One Bedroom or Two?

Author's Note: The beginning of this chapter is a little vagueish. I think also not much in character.

Disclaimer: No infringement intended.

Warnings: Hugs. and meaningful staring and comforting. and yelling. Dean yells.

* * *

After the slices of apology pie were eaten Dean took Castiel to an empty bedroom next to his own (it had been dubbed Castiel's after they'd found him in the street that one day and had laid empty since the brothers came back) and closed the door.

Sam, Crowley and Aziraphale sat on the couches awkwardly. Aziraphale began wondering what sort of relationship Castiel and Dean had exactly. Then they heard upset shouting.

Inside the room, Dean was venting.

"Where have you been the last few days?! I've been worried sick! Do you have any idea what's been going on here?!" Dean asked angrily, "Sam's been sick the past three days on the verge of death and you're not around and the angels were falling! You've got some explaining to do!" he said pushing down the urge to say the last sentence in a cuban accent and calling Castiel, Lucy. It'd probably just confuse the angel.

"I'm sorry," Cas said earnestly. He had been sure the pie would have been sufficient.

Any other day it would have.

"What?" Dean asked puzzled. He had been expecting a shouting match.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left, you were right, Naomi was right, EVERYONE was right, except me, I was wrong. And I'm sorry,"

Dean looked down at the ex-angel sitting on the bed. Too much heart. Always the problem it seemed with Cas, too much heart. Dean hesitated before sitting down next to him.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently, concern filling him, replacing the selfish anger he had felt before. For a moment he felt terrible, awful, here he was demanding explanations for the abandonment— (no, not abandonment, absence. Simply absence.) for the absence of the angel and he hadn't even asked his angel if he was alright, if he was okay, if everything was fine.

"To be honest, it's draining, being human." Castiel asked with a world-weary grin on his face. It looked fake with all the tiredness in it

Dean smiled tiredly back though.

"It is," he replied

"Anyways, I'm sorry," Castiel said once more. He just wanted to be forgiven by Dean, it was all he'd been hoping for. The prayer let him know Dean wasn't mad, but Dean could hold grudges for longer than Castiel had lived if he didn't ask for forgiveness immediately.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Dean said placing a calming hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned into the touch glad for something familiar. He hoped this was Dean's way of forgiving.

"It's getting late, you need to sleep." Dean said pulling away suddenly and standing.

"I heard your prayer," Castiel said grasping for something to say to make Dean stay. He didn't understand why Dean would pull away so suddenly. Maybe he hadn't been forgiven?

"…What?" Dean asked turning around to face Castiel.

"I heard it, 'Hey Cas,'" Castiel recited " 'I know you probably can't hear me. I just really need to talk. I miss you, a lot. I know I seemed pretty upset with you before you left, I'm sorry I didn't go with you but, Sam needed me. I wish I had gone with you, or at least convinced you not to go. Well, this isn't exactly going how I planned. Any who, just come home safe alright Cas? Just get back to me alive. Just come home Cas. I lost too much already in my life, I don't need to lose you too. Please Cas, just come back to us. We need you. I need you. Be safe, be careful of strangers, they're the worst people. Also when it gets dark take a nap or sleep or something. Eat three times a day, drink water whenever your mouth feels dry. Listen to me giving human lessons to you. What else is there? Walk on the sidewalk, look both ways before you cross the street, ask for help once you get somewhere. We've been to three towns closest to the motel and looked for you everywhere but you weren't around, and actually we've gone to the bunker so we're not in the motel anymore, it was Sam's idea… Cas—'

"Cas come home soon," Dean finished "You uh, " Dean cleared his throat "You uh, memorize them?"

"They bring me comfort. Besides, most of them are kept like memories, there's no need for me to memorize them," Castiel murmured.

The room was quiet.

In the silence Dean realized what had been off. All night since Cas had come home there had been something bothering him about the former angel. It was something weird about the way the angel appeared. It was the reason why Dean had at first thought he was hallucinating, the reason he could still not believe hours later that Castiel was in face in front of him. (well, sitting in front of him) Suddenly it was all clear, Dean became infuriated.

"What the HELL is wrong with your tie?!" Dean yelled I mean asked very politely holding back the string of curses that threatened to fly out of his mouth.

Castiel startled. He had been watching Dean's eyes trail down from his eyes to his chest and had wondered if Dean could see his heart yearning for Dean. When Dean yelled Castiel looked down at his tie. He looked up again and caught Dean's eyes.

"Nothing, it is properly tied," he asked narrowing his eyes. He wondered if Dean had been drinking again.

"Who DID that?"

"Anthony,"

"Who the HELL is ANTHONY!?"

"Aziraphale's friend? The man with the suit and cheekbones."

"Oh," Dean said simply growing suddenly jealous. Cas had noticed the guy's cheekbones. The guy was you know, attractive. How dare his angel notice an attractive guy that wasn't him.

"T-there's uh," Dean cleared his shaky voice. He could not believe he just thought that. This was Cas, an Angel of the Lord, his friend, his companion. Who cared if he noticed other humans, he had every right to.

Anyways, Dean cleared this throat, "uh, you know, clothes and stuff in the drawers there and we'll see about human lessons tomorrow."

"Thank you for everything Dean," Castiel manages to say before Dean can leave.

It was fairly obvious neither Cas or Dean want to leave each other's sides but they also both understand that they each need to get a grip on what this is before they delve in.

"Yeah just you know, get some shut eye," Dean said opening the door and rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I will," Castiel says.

"Good night Cas," Dean said leaving the room.

"Sleep well Dean," Cas whispered to the receding figure

Sam Aziraphale and Crowley watched as Dean walked out into the hallway shaken almost. He was muttering something under his breath (sounding alarmingly like he damneveryonewithgoodcheekbonestohell) as he slammed his own door shut. Moments later, Castiel's own door clicked shut.

"So," Sam said breaking the silence, "One bedroom or two?"

"One should be fine," Aziraphale said distractedly staring off at Castiel's door hoping his friend was alright.

Crowley stared at his angel in disbelief. Aziraphale turned and saw the look.

"One bedroom? Did you forget you sleep now too Zirah?" Crowley hissed.

"Oh," Aziraphale said surprised. That may have been the first time it hit him. Although he hadn't forgotten that he had fallen, Aziraphale had been able to deny it the whole three days.

"I sleep now don't I?" Aziraphale said looking up piteously at Crowley.

"Yeah Angel," Crowley whispered.

"No more staying up praying or reading books all night long, or making myself cocoa from thin air, no more taking out my wings and having you groom them, no more flying through the night air, no more quick trips across the Atlantic to pick up an new old edition, no more chorus practice twice a year with the other angels." Aziraphale said listing off all the things he couldn't do anymore almost matter-of-factly.

"Zirah," Crowley said quietly. He could feel his heart reaching for the angel.

"No more other angels?" Aziraphale said suddenly and his whole body seemed to droop in sadness, or loss or something Crowley couldn't lay a finger on.

Sam felt unbelievably awkward sitting between them. He wondered if it would be rude to turn on the television.

At that moment Crowley reached across to pat Aziraphale's knee.

Sam realized the angel had started crying.

Someone told him once that the saddest thing you'd ever see was an angel crying. Angels hardly ever cry, very rarely do they get teary eyed. For an angel to cry, it means they've lost all faith, something impossibly difficult for an Angel to do since they knew everything that happened was for a reason, they knew God intended everything, they knew it would all turn out for the better. For an angel to cry, meant a situation was literally hopeless, doomed, disastrous, condemned. Angel tears were thus thought to be the saddest thing ever.

Sam thought though that maybe there were tears that could cause more gloom to human souls even compared to angel tears, and those were fallen angel tears. They were left with nothing at all. They'd known all these good wonderful things and now they were gone. Sam felt awful pain at knowing that this fallen angel was now crying over the loss of everything that was good in his life. Without knowing why he suddenly hugged the angel. Crowley startled and blinked.

Sam had begun hushing the ex-angel and quieting his hiccupping sobs, too quiet to be heard by anyone else but he and Crowley. When the crying had subsided Sam stood him up and began walking to a room opposite of Castiel's. He motioned for Crowley to follow and open the door. Sam had the ex-angel lay down on the bed. He rubbed small circles on Aziraphale's back until the ex-angel fell asleep, hiccupping every once in a while.

"How'd you know to do that?" Crowley asked amazed once they stepped out of the room and Sam had shut the door gently behind them.

"I'm a little brother," the giant said.

Crowley smothered a snicker.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked as he watched Crowley make a choking sound.

"Yeah, just a cough. Go on?" Crowley said feigning great interest.

"Well, I woke up having nightmares a lot as a kid; Dean always did the same thing for me. And don't tell anyone this, but uh, the last few nights Dean hasn't been able to sleep alright. He's had nightmares and I hear him crying out at night so I go over and do the same for him." Sam said rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

"Oh,"

"Anyways, If you'll follow me to your room?" Sam said turning he turned back quickly though.

"Unless you and Aziraphale are uh…" he was rubbing his neck nervously again.

"We'd get stinking drunk and I'd forget how to sober myself so I'd sleep it off, he'd read into the night until the next morning and he'd stay in my room or I'd stay in his. He's not used to needing sleep. It's only been three days," Crowley explained. Sam nodded. Then the realization of everything having begun only three days ago hit them.

Three days felt like a lifetime ago.

* * *

Author's Note: So review please? It makes me inspired. Also, the next chapter is FINALLY going to get to the plot bunny that started this whole thing.


	9. What's Your Deal?

**_Author's_********_Note_**: This felt shorter the first time I wrote it. Now if feels really long… I have no idea why though.

**_Warnings_**: liberal use of parenthetical sidenotes. Also, your daily serving of sexual innuendos lie within so watch out for that. OH! And more OOC than anyone is entitled to reading.

**_Disclaimer_**: I own the character's in this story like I own the moon (which is to say not at all)

* * *

Castiel woke up suddenly. He was shaking and sweating and he felt tears in his eyes. He must have had a nightmare but he could not remember it. He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. It read 2:13 a.m. Castiel lay in his bed and closed his eyes waiting for sleep to reclaim him. He fidgeted around, laying one way then another, on his stomach, on his back, hugging a pillow bed, void of all pillows, on a pile of pillows and sheets and blankets, bed completely bare etc., etc. Finally, Castiel sat up in his bed and sighed. He glanced at the clock again. 2:45 a.m. He wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon.

He groaned and got up and walked out of his room. Maybe if he watched Dean sleep for a little bit he'd feel calmer and be able to sleep…

He saw a light and shadows coming from the space beneath the door of the room across his. When he had been here before, he'd never seen anyone in that bedroom. Maybe it was Crowley and Aziraphale's room. Maybe Crowley could knock Castiel out or give him something to sleep.

He knocked lightly on the door. It opened almost immediately to Aziraphale's surprised face.

"Hello dear," Aziraphale said allowing only his head to peek out.

Castiel cocked his head quizzically.

"No sleep either?" he asked feeling it was an appropriately human enough phrase to use.

"You could say that," Aziraphale said face flushing. Suddenly Castiel realized Aziraphale was not wearing a shirt. He also realized he hadn't seen Crowley yet, and the door was half closed.

"Oh fuck," Castiel said blue eyes growing suddenly wide (he felt this too was an appropriate human phrase to use given the situation).

"Am I making too much noise? Crowley tells me I'm always so noisy at night," Aziraphale asked, blush still on his face but surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

Aziraphale was recalling a time when Crowley had thrown pillows and sheets and even a lamp at the angel for simply turning a page to loud while the demon slept.

"Uh," Castiel deadpanned. Dean was becoming a bad influence and making him less and less graceful angel and more and more . He felt really awkward and didn't know how to escape the situation. He closed his eyes briefly and figured he may as well just 'go with the current'.

Or maybe it was the flow?

"Um, uh, sorry Aziraphale," he said beginning to back away from the room "I'll just go back to my bedroom with my bed and with, you know my sheets and things and you go back to your bedroom with your bed and your demo-i-mean uh, doings."

'Smooth,' said a voice in Castiel's head that sounded unnervingly like Dean's.

"Um, hah!" Castiel laughed nervously before clasping a hand to his mouth. If he was too loud he might wake up Dean or Sam and this whole thing was awkward enough without having Sam and Dean pointing various weapons at Crowley and Aziraphale while they were in bed. He glanced once around the hallway before nervously putting down his hand.

"I didn't mean to use human slang for intercourse there, it was a Freudian slip. That's what they call it correct? Um, oh God, I'm uh sorry for intruding, I'll be on my way, give Crowley my regards."

'Really Cas?' the inner Dean voice asked, 'May as well be wishing Crowley Good luck and happy orgasming,"

"Or actually don't, that might be awkward," Castiel said backing away slightly more.

"What?" Aziraphale asked slightly bemused. He'd never seen his friend like this before. Usually Castiel was always so calm and reserved. Castiel was never so nervous or flighty. Castiel seemed like a clumsy human (no offense to humans or anything but usually Castiel was quite graceful if a bit awkward [Actually now that he thought about it, Aziraphale realized this is exactly what was wrong. Castiel wasn't his usual awkward self. He wasn't angel awkward: the type that doesn't seem to understand the world around them. He was human awkward: the type that seems embarrassed by every action they make.]).

Aziraphale opened his door a little bit more and Castiel was able to see the bed behind the former angel.

Castiel also saw something that made him want to cry out in excitement. Which was an odd feeling for the ex-angel seeing as how he'd only felt this excited a few times. He brought a hand up to his mouth and pointed.

Obviously sleep deprivation was getting to him as he was not acting at all like himself and Castiel wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Well, he didn't know if not acting like himself was a good thing or a bad thing, he knew sleep deprivation was a bad thing. Maybe it just meant he was becoming more human. By this he meant both sleep deprivation and acting strangely because humans always seemed to act strangely and also always seemed to be sleep deprived (apparently even those eight regular hours he'd complained about weren't enough).

Aziraphale looked back and saw what was making Castiel so excited.

"Oh, I see" Aziraphale said sort of resignedly. He wondered what it was like to be the cause of such excitement.

"Would you like to join me?" Aziraphale awkwardly added (An alliteration!)

Castiel all but ran into the room.

(I kind of just want to end the chapter there? But this thing is going to get a helluva lot longer if I do. So…)

Aziraphale closed the door behind Castiel and smiled at his friend's enthusiasm. Castiel always seemed like a different person around him. It was the 'friends effect' he supposed. Crowley had once tried explaining that people act differently with different friends. Castiel and Aziraphale were an example of this. In fact, Castiel made Aziraphale feel modern and hip. (Although, Crowley would probably be quick to inform the angel that 'hip' was no longer 'hip' to use and would only be used in order to make a point about not being 'hip'[or when old people talk about what kind of surgery they need]) Aziraphale in turn made Castiel feel less worried (not much less but enough less that Castiel smiled more often)

"You seem excited," Aziraphale teased.

"Beautiful," Castiel muttered as he sized up Aziraphale's wings. They were bigger than he had expected (Crowley had felt so smug when Aziraphale had complimented his wingspan and then teased the Angel about being shy about showing his wingspan but Aziraphale simply hadn't wanted to show Crowley up) but they were gorgeous wings. They were a pure but creamy white, so unlike the clinical white of some of the wings Castiel was used to in heaven. He smiled brightly as he noted they needed grooming. They reminded him of the disorganized mess that had once been on his back.

"You still have them! I thought all the angels had lost them? Didn't they burn up when you fell?" Castiel said cocking his head.

"In truth I didn't fall too hard," Aziraphale said and explained what had happened to him when he fell.

Castiel thought it was an amusing story but didn't let it show, simply cocked his head in interest. Aziraphale smiled.

"You can laugh if you'd like. It is pretty funny if you think about it," Aziraphale admitted turning to face a mirror in the room. He examined his wings in the mirror. Once, they'd been so powerful and strong, now they hung limp on his back barely able to hold even their own weight. Feathers littered the floor and Aziraphale worried they were dying. He couldn't even move them. The smile that was leftover from the story vanished and was replaced by an odd hybrid of a scowl and soul-breakingingly sad frown.

"May I?" Castiel asked motioning to them completely oblivious to the sadness Aziraphale felt about his wings.

"I don't see why not," Aziraphale said shrugging away the (rather terrifying) face he was making. Castiel sat cross legged on the bed and Aziraphale sat in front of him.

Wing grooming had been one of those things angels did for one another. Before creation, angels would help one another fix their wings as it was near impossible to do it themselves. It was often seen as the ultimate form of bonding. If you groomed each other's wings you were friends for eternity.

It had been months since Crowley had groomed Aziraphale's wings for him (of course, being a snake and all, Crowley had never needed help grooming his wings. He simply allowed it for Aziraphale's benefit.) and Crowley had been the only one ever to do it for him (besides that one time when Rafael was feeling generously brotherly[Crowley was still mad to this day.]). He remembered grooming Castiel's one time though Castiel hadn't ever groomed his.

Anyways.

Suddenly a feather floated passed within Aziraphale's line of sight. Thanks to the mirror, Aziraphale saw rather than felt Castiel pluck messy ruined crushed feathers out of his wings. He felt sudden terror at the realization that he'd never be able to feel anything on his wings again, no friendly hands, no light breeze, and no soft rays of warm light, nothing.

Castiel noticed Aziraphale tense.

"Did I pull too hard?" he asked.

"No, to be honest, I c-can't feel a thing," Aziraphale said shakily. Castiel stopped his grooming for a moment, unsure of what to do. He could tell Aziraphale was upset, his voice told him that, but he didn't know what to do. Wasn't it a good thing not to feel pain? Pain on your wings was a, well, difficult thing to deal with, especially since wings are especially sensitive to pain. Then Castiel realized. Aziraphale couldn't feel ANYTHING on his wings.

He patted Aziraphale once or twice on the shoulder and became relieved once he saw Aziraphale take in a deep relaxing breath.

Castiel realized that not having wings while awful and identity-crisis ensuing (and overall just plain weird when you've always been able to use them whenever you felt like before) was not as bad as having them there but being functionless. It would be torture to know they were right within reach, within use, and that nothing but your Fall was holding you back from using them.

After a few seconds Castiel spoke.

"So why are they out?" he said continuing to straighten out the longer feathers.

"Crowley must be deeply asleep; he was the one hiding them. If he's not used to hiding two pairs of wings while asleep he'll forget about mine. I must be such a burden on his mind."

Castiel for the first time since he entered noticed the shredded remains of Aziraphale's tartan pajamas that Crowley had packed and brought with them.

"No, he loves you," Castiel said, meaning it (he swears to God) platonically.

"He's a demon," Aziraphale said, taking what Castiel had said as platonic love as well, "They can't feel love,"

"True," Castiel conceded. "Speaking of which, what is 'your deal'?" making an attempt at air quoted but failing miserably.

"Hmm?" staring at the former angel who seemed to be doing an impression of Crab claws pinching the air with his hands.

"You know, 'your deal'. Dean taught me that phrase," Castiel asked this time forgoing the air quotes. They didn't come out as nicely as Dean's and Sam's had.

"Oh I suppose you mean our Arrangement," Aziraphale said after a beat of thought.

"Yes. I mean I assume that is probably what is meant, Dean never really explained what the phrase meant, he just taught it to me,"

"Well you know, it's a rather simple one, it's only got the capital letter because it's so old. Of course I know he's the enemy, but he's been one for so long he may as well be my friend. I grew accustomed to his face I suppose. One could say I acquired a taste for Crowley like you've acquired a taste for coffee,"

"Well coffee you must admit is marvelous,"

"Yes but you take it so bitter and dark, it's practically inedible. Anyways, it's basic tacit, noninterference when it comes to each other's activities. I don't thwart he doesn't tempt. There are a few occasions where I thwart his wiles, to keep up appearances you understand, but usually the Arrangement assures that while neither side ever REALLY wins, neither ever loses. After a few decades of this it began to feel natural to—as Crowley puts it—'Hold down the stronghold' for one another whenever it made sense. I'd do little wiles he'd do little blessings,"

"I believe the phrase is 'hold down the fork',"

"It doesn't sound quite right, why would one hold down a fork? Maybe it was fort?"

"You might be right but humans are odd, it's just possible they say fork." Castiel pulling out a nasty old ugly feather that he was surprised hadn't fallen out on its own by now.

"So when did you become as Dean says, 'An item'?"

Aziraphale chuckled.

"My goodness, humans have the oddest phrases," he said, "Truth be told though, I think Crowley likes to pretend nothing exists between us, but it's there. You'd have to be blind. But like I said, he can feel no love, probably just lust, although, I don't see why, I'm not exactly his type,"

No, Azirphale thought bitterly, His type are pretty young blonde girls with bookish mousy features and large— um.

"What about you and Dean?" Aziraphale asked pushing away the types of sexual companions he'd found Crowley with over the years. After all, he'd never be anything like them.

"I can still hear his prayers to me," Castiel whispered conspiratorially, almost as if he was afraid to say it aloud lest it should cease to exist.

"Hmm,"

"Indeed,"

"It's rather odd, I haven't heard any prayers since I fell, not even snippets of the ones people make around me. That's really odd. Maybe that bond you mentioned has something to do with it?"

"Perhaps," Castiel said cryptically and was content to leave it at that. Aziraphale having known castiel for millennia knew it was useless trying to get anything else out of his friend and changed the subject.

The former angels continued to talk about everything that had gone on since they'd last seen each other and eventually they drifted to sleep again.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ Never before has there existed a chapter in which Castiel is more out of character that is not AU or 2014!Cas. It had to be done. Well, okay no it didn't but I've tried rewriting it a few times and it only gets marginally better so, this is it. I just really wanted a wings chapter.


	10. Man After My Own Heart

Author's Note: Hah, i promised this chapter would be out about four hours ago. Whoops. Sorry for any inconvenience. I really am, i just got really distracted.

Warnings: Sexual innuendos. But you know, this should be a given now.

Disclaimers: As usual, not my people. You know that.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning and decided he was going to teach Cas the horrors of being woken up by someone when all you wanted was to sleep. However upon discovering the former angel's room empty and his bed cold Dean became terrified. What if it had all been a dream? What if Castiel had decided to leave again.

He shoved the first thought out of his mind. The bed was used after all he could tell that much, (meaning Castiel was not a figment of his imagination last night), but he raced outside of the room to look for Cas.

'Cas please be here still, please be in the kitchen, please be in the living room, please be outside, please be in the Impala, please be somewhere here,' Dean said as he walked through the bunker looking for the dark-haired man.

"Sam, Cas is missing," Dean called returning to the kitchen and prepping for an ex-angel hunt.

Crowley woke up to yelling and the noise of people quickly moving from one room to the next. He groaned and yanked a pillow over his head. Then he felt it. Vibes were floating through the house and invading his room. They felt slightly panicked and worried. He got up and snapped on a suit. Groaning, he pulled his sunglasses off of the shelf and stumbled out of the room trying to figure out what was causing the panic outside.

"What is going on?" he asked as Sam walked by.

"Dean can't find Cas,"

"Who the bloody hell is Cass?" he asked. The name sounded familiar.

"Castiel," Sam explained and Crowley remembered that it was the nickname the boys had called Aziraphale's friend. Castiel was, after all, a rather odd name to pronounce (I mean no less so than Aziraphale). Besides, Cass rolled off his snaky tongue better.

"Let me go get the Angel— er, Aziraphale and we'll help out," he said groggily walking next door to Aziraphale's bedroom. He opened the door and his eyes widened. On the bed were two figures curled up facing each other, blankets tossed haphazardly aside on the floor, sleeping peacefully looking like perfect angels. Every few moments or so one of them would let out a soft sigh or their eyelid would flutter gently as a dream raced across the blue orbs beneath. Crowley took his eyes away from the picturesque scene and took into account the room around them. Feathers were strewn around the floor, on the drawers, on tables, even on the sleeers themselves and Crowley realized Aziraphale's wings were out. He blessed under his breath before snapping them away and putting a shirt back on Aziraphale.

'There,' he thought as the tartan button-up manifested itself, 'Much more appropriate. We can't have half naked angels sleeping together, what kind of image would that make for heaven.'

Crowley obviously did not want to concede the fact there were no more angels around and that Castiel and Aziraphale were very, very mortal and those soft breathes and fluttery sighs were no longer just to keep up appearances but very necessary for their survival.

Crowley stepped away from the doorframe refusing to have these thoughts.

He walked into the kitchen from where he was hearing muffled swears and could feel the strongest panic vibes emanating from.

Dean was preparing to look for Castiel by stuffing various weapons into his pockets. Crowley rolled his eyes (Did Dean really think he needed that many weapons to find one angel?).

"Next time, before you wake everyone up at such an indecent hour and start packing up for what appears to be a large game hunt, you might want to remember that angel's tend to visit one another when they're homesssick," Crowley hissed irritably pointing at Aziraphale's open door.

Dean looked up with a blank expression (Well, almost blank. It also housed a suspicious curiosity about the hissing.) on his face before rushing to the door of Aziraphale's room. He had a look of relief on his face when he walked back to the kitchen. Crowley was inspecting the demon blade he had left behind.

"Sorry," Dean said sheepishly, "Where'd Sam go?"

"Back to his bedroom I told him it was a false alarm. He seemed relieved but then got a really bitchy look on his face. I think he'd like to sleep some more, what time is it anyways?"

"7:30,"

"What sort of ungodly hour is this?" Crowley asked face scrunched up in disgust.

"I wanted to wake up Castiel and teach him to be human," Dean explained and his cheeks flushed. Suddenly his idea seemed on the verge of girly and emotional.

"I've been giving them lessons," Crowley said testing the blades sharpness by poking himself with it on his index finger. He held back a hiss of pain as a drop of blood came out.

"I thought you weren't human?" Dean asked wondering for the first time since last night who (by which he meant what) exactly Sam had let into the bunker.

"Trust me, you don't spend six millennia with humans without learning a thing or two," Crowley said carefully replacing the blade and sucking on this finger before looking back up at Dean, "Although, Zirah seems to have managed it."

He could sense the man's suspicion and he didn't relish the thought of revealing he was a demon to a man who owned a demon blade (that looked suspiciously like the one a certain demon by the name of Ruby carried around).

"They've got the basics down," Crowley continued.

Dean's heart lurched a little at the thought of not having been there for any of it. He guessed it was what parents felt when they'd missed their kids take their first steps or something sentimental like that. He looked over at the demon and realized he was going to have a chic flic moment and nothing could stop it. It was too damn early in the morning, it was messing with his brain.

"Thank you," Dean smiled "For everything, but especially for bringing Cas back," he hoped his strained smile showed just how uncomfortable he was saying all this and that (the angel?) Anthony (he was pretty sure that's what Sam had called him) would take a hint.

"Yeah, yeah, show me your car and we'll be even," Crowley said shrugging off the thanks. It was obvious Crowley was not used to it nor did he enjoy it. If Dean hadn't known better he might've even said that Crowley looked like he was being burned by the gesture.

Dean smiled in relief. Thank God Anthony (Who Dean realized probably wasn't an Angel since who the hell has heard of The Angel of the Lord Anthony J. Crowley?) didn't like these moments either or Dean may have gouged his own eyes out.

"You like cars?" Dean asked giving Anthony a cheeky grin heading for the door before grabbing his keys on the way out.

"What? Is the Bentley invisible or something?" Crowley joked snapping his own keys into existence.

A lot could be told from a keychain.

Dean's was heavy. It had key ring upon key ring upon key ring, it jingled loudly whenever he tossed it to Sam and it was only by the miracles of God that it did not bruise Sam every time he manages to catch it. All the keys were important. They were for each place they'd called home over the years. Dean even had a spare key from the house that burned down, although he never told Sam because it'd probably initiate a heart-to-heart moment he'd rather not have. He also had a key that opened a box that held another key that opened a separate box in which he stored all the pictures of all the people he'd ever loved. Not that anyone would ever know about it.

Now Crowley's on the other hand was relatively Spartan in comparison. It was a simple silver circular key ring, a car key for the Bentley, and a single charm that he'd rather not let anyone see or know about. It was a golden feather given to him by someone a long time ago, back when people were only beginning to create crude little artifacts. The feather was surprisingly well-made, you didn't need to squint too hard to realize it was a feather. In fact, if Crowley ever wanted to he could probably donate it to a museum for display. But he didn't want to. Aziraphale asked about it one time but Crowley changed the subject. It barely tinkled if it was tossed to someone. Besides, it made it easier to snap into existence if it was lighter.

While Crowley would rather forget the people of his past he couldn't escape them. While Dean could escape them, he would rather not forget the people of his past.

Dean at first thought it'd be one of the newer model Bentleys and he expected for Anthony to be completely car illiterate (Crowley just struck Dean as that kind of guy). They stepped outside and Dean's eyes widened and his eyebrows quirked up, there before him was a beautiful black Bentley looking like she was from around the 1920's or so.

"Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies that way," Crowley smirked. He was used to people going crazy for his car. Especially people who knew cars and Dean was emitting some pretty powerful vibes of lust at the Bentley. Dean walked up to the car and looked in; he could almost smell the leather.

"Care to look under the hood?" Crowley asked. With a snap of his fingers the hood popped open and Crowley and Dean went over to have a look.

Sam walked out to inform the guys Aziraphale was making pancakes. He looked around for them but could not see them.

"Alright, I've shown you mine," he heard a voice coming from somewhere near the Bentley, "Show me yours."

Sam promptly turned on his heel and walked right back inside. Dean and Anthony could figure out it was time for breakfast on their own.

Dean got up from where he was squatted checking out the rims on the Bentley's wheels next to Crowley. He motioned for Crowley to follow him. With a swift tug, the sheet covering the Impala slid off revealing the car underneath. Crowley gave an appreciative whistle.

"It's a '67 right?" Crowley asked sneaking a peek inside.

'It looks bigger on the inside,' he thought with a small smile.

Dean nodded and popped the hood.

They poured over the engine for a few more minutes and exchanged their craziest car stories.

"You're a man after my own heart Dean," said Crowley wiping away a mirthful tear as Dean doubled over in laughter.

Which was actually truer than either of them realized seeing as they both hid feelings for former angels.

* * *

Author's Note: Review if you have time please?


	11. 24-Hour Porno

Author's Note: Hi everyone, sorry this is a bit overdue. Actually, summer is coming to an end so there might be less frequent postings. Sorry. I finally figured out how this is going to end though.

Warnings: Sexual innuendos.

Disclaimer: If I had a nickle for every time someone thought I owned Supernatural and Good Omens I'd have no money. It's not mine and noone thinks that to begin with.

* * *

"Dean, will you take us to the store?" Castiel asked as the two men (or at least men-shaped beings) walked in from outside.

"Hmm?" Dean asked sitting down at the table. Aziraphale scurried over with a plateful of pancakes.

"The grocery store in town, will you take us?" Castiel clarified.

"Uh, why?" Dean asked swallowing a mouthful of light fluffy heaven. Damn those pancakes were good.

"If you can't, Crowley could always take us," Aziraphale said from the stove where he was cooking the pancakes. Even as a human his cooking was angelic (He learned from an old friend. First name Julia, last name rhymes with Wild?).

"Take you where?" Crowley asked before sitting down at the table with Sam, Dean and Castiel, all of whom were being very human and having breakfast. Crowley figured he may as well join them. He served himself a cup of coffee and leaned back in his chair. If he had been human he would've fallen backwards at about a forty five degree angle but being Crowley he made it to a fifty degree before feeling off balance.

"To the grocery store," Aziraphale said bringing him a plate of pancakes.

"Why?" Crowley asked suspiciously.

"They won't tell me," Dean said annoyed at their conspiracy.

"Well we didn't really think of inviting you, you know what they say about three being a crowd," Aziraphale chuckled.

"Yes and besides, you told me once that having more than one person in bed with you at once was strange and generally awkward," Castiel said as he poured himself more coffee.

Dean and Crowley's minds exploded in a mushroom cloud of sexual innuendos. Had they been drinking anything they would've done a spit take. Sam unfortunately was drinking something and he started choking on it. If he hadn't been drinking orange juice and if he hadn't started to choke once he began to laugh at Castiel's comment everyone would have realized he was laughing and this whole situation could have been avoided.

"We're going to buy cherries," Castiel explained watching Sam as he coughed the orange juice out.

(mind explosion the size of two cars crashing into each other in a fiery demise as they imagined their respective angels biting a nice, red, round, cherry of the stem.)

"Preferably chocolate covered," Aziraphale said wondering if Sam was going to need the Heimlich maneuver and if he'd be able to remember how to preform it.

(mind explosion the size of a Nuclear bomb going off at the thought of messy chocolate covered lips)

"And whipped cream, and ice cream, although it might be too cold for that," Castiel added.

(meteor-heading-for-the-earth-has-landed-and-the-c rator-is-the-size-of-the-united-states-and-is-caus ing-tsunami's-world-wide sized mind explosion at the thought of the angels covered in whipped cream)

"And perhaps rent a film. Dean, Castiel mentioned you enjoy entertaining yourself with films, which would you recommend?"

(Every-nation-with-nuclear-capabilities-no-matter- how-small-pressing-the-detonate-button-at-once-and -destroying-life-on-earth-as-we-know-it sized mind explosion at the thought of what kinds of raunchy films Dean 'entertained' himself with)

Dean and Crowley sat there mouths gaping open at what the former angels had implied before they spoke in unison.

"Can I watch?"

Aziraphale sat down with his breakfast and gave them a curious look. Castiel cocked his head to one side.

"Why?" Castiel asked.

Suddenly Dean and Crowley realized the implications of their request and began babbling nonsensical excuses.

Sam laughed long and hard a nice true sincere laugh on the verge of being a guffaw. This time he had taken care not to drink anything. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"What's so funny Sammy?" Dean asked relieved for the subject change.

"You guys are idiots, they're having a pity party,"

"What?" Dean and Crowley asked

"Remember when I was little and the neighborhood dog tore up my stuffed bear Ro-Ro? So for weeks I'd sulk around and moan for poor Ro-Ro? Then you told me to quit the pity party and suck it up?"

"Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?" Dean asked.

"I never understood what you had meant because there were no cherries."

"What?" Crowley asked.

"Women eat chocolate or ice cream with whipped cream when they are upset or sad," Castiel began explaining.

"But no one ever eats anything with pits at pity parties, they just sit there upset," Sam said, "So they're going to eat chocolate covered cherries that have pits in order to have a real Pit-y party in bed while watching a chic flick and eating ice cream and crying, they don't see any reason for us to join them since we're not sad."

The only sounds to be heard in the kitchen were those of Castiel, Aziraphale and Sam eating breakfast. Dean and Crowley stayed completely quiet.

"How in Go-Sa-Meta-Someone's name did you figure that out?" Crowley finally asked.

"My mind isn't a 24-hour porno," Sam smirked before getting up to wash his plate.

Crowley and Dean blushed.

"Bitch," Dean muttered

"Jerk," Sam called back snickering.

"I'll take you guys," Dean finally muttered grabbing his keys from out of the bowl on the table and walking outside. Aziraphale and Castiel walked out behind him, leaving Crowley and Sam to do dishes.

Dean was slowly bludgeoning himself with the steering wheel while the former angels got in the back seat.

"Ready Dean," Castiel said as his and Aziraphale's seat belts clicked.

They'd been on the road for half of Under Pressure (it was weird, Dean was almost positive he didn't have any Queen tapes.) when Castiel leaned over the front seat and tapped Dean's shoulder.

"What did Sam mean 24-hour porno?" Castiel asked innocently in that gravelly bedroom voice of his.

It was a miracle the Impala didn't maneuver itself into oncoming traffic.

* * *

Author's Note: I think this is just a really odd chapter. Review please if you have time.


	12. Are You Feeling Lucky, Punk?

Author's Note: Sorry Everyone! I feel like i've been away for forever. It's only been a couple of days though. Any-who, here's a new chapter filled with stuff.

Warnings: Nothing, Not even Sexual Innuendos... Oh wait, spoke too soon, I see a couple... Also, there's a bunch of me taking creative licence and stuff because i have no idea how the bunker is laid out.

Disclaimer: If you think I own Supernatural AND Good Omens, you're wrong. I own nothing. Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and Eric Kripke do (But you know, not in that order.)

* * *

Crowley watched as Sam picked up the dishes and took them to the sink.

"Need any help?" Crowley asked. He asked for two reasons.

One: ever since Aziraphale fell out of his chair, Crowley has been thinking more in terms of "What Would Aziraphale Do?" Crowley was sure if Aziraphale were here, Sam would not be doing dishes.

Two: He figured this was as good a time as any to become besties with a tree-man and confess he was a demon in order to make sure that treeman's overprotective brother wouldn't kill him with Ruby's blade.

"Actually, if you don't mind grabbing a towel and—" Sam started but was immediately interrupted by the noise someone makes when they realize all the dirty inanimate objects in the sink have become animated and are cleaning themselves up. It sounds sort of like a cross between 'What the fuck?!", "Christo!" and the sound of mad dashing for the kitchen knives.

"What was that?!" Sam asked whirling around from his position near the sink. Crowley looked up from the tabloid in his hands (he figured he needed to be caught up on what American celebrities were up to these days [he was pleased]).

"The dishes cleaning themselves I hope," Crowley said blinking once in confusion behind his sunglasses.

"How did you do that?" Sam asked still waving a kitchen knife around. Crowley snapped his fingers and it disappeared. Sam startled and stared at his hand.

"Have to make sure you don't have means to kill me," Crowley said before pulling off his sunglasses to reveal his golden slitted eyes.

"What the hell are you?!" Sam yelled.

"I hope you didn't think I was human, that would be insulting," Crowley said grimacing "I'm much too attractive,"

Sam went to immediate hunter mode. He looked around for a weapon but all the knives had disappeared and the drawers were locked. Sam settled for a freshly cleaned spatula.

"Really? A spatula?" Crowley asked slightly offended. What was Sam going to do? Flip him to death?

"It's made out of silver," Sam warned "And laced in salt and borax," he bluffed

"Is it really Sam? Didn't I just washed that?"

"This is a Men of Letters Bunker Anthony. The water running through the pipes is holy," Sam said pointing the spatula menacingly at Crowley.

"No it's not, you're bluffing"Crowley rolled his eyes. Even Aziraphale knew how to bluff better.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but ultimately, you've got no clue. So my question is, are you feeling lucky punk?" Sam asked menacingly and approached Crowley with the spatula out in front of him like a gun.

"I washed my hands in it before I ate, it wasn't holy water," Crowley stated and stood up.

Sam's confidence deflated and a look of fear ran across his face for a millisecond replaced with one of curiosity. Why hadn't the… whatever the hell Crowley was, killed him yet?

"What the hell are you?" he asked.

"Exactly," Crowley smiled.

"You're a demon?"

"Bingo,"

"But your eyes aren't—"

"Ugly old black eyes? I'm level 600, no more black eyes for me. Actually come to think of it, I don't think I ever had them to begin with, I was before their time I suppose."

"Level 600?"

"Also, I prefer you didn't call me a demon, I prefer 'Angel who did not so Much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards'—it's the more politically correct term," Crowley said sauntering vaguely into Sam's direction. He didn't actually mind people calling him a demon but he knew that politically correct terms befuddled the heck out of people and it was fun watching them squirm.

"Who are you?" Sam asked once more hoping he'd get a more proper answer.

"Anthony J. Crowley, Formerly Anthony Crowley, Formerly Crowley, formerly Crawly, formerly 'hey you demon kid', and for a time in heaven, I had a nice angel name that ended in an 'L'. I am the snake in the Garden of Eden that caused the Fall of humanity, the tempter of Eve, the beast of sin, the adversary but not THE Adversary, more like the presidential spokesman. I am he who years ago gave the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness, a.k.a the Antichrist, to the world. I am the one who created the M25 London Orbital Motorway—"

Crowley had been standing and letting his voice become deeper and more demonic as he let himself grow to an unnaturally tall height (only a few centimeters taller than Sam[just kidding]). He began feeling slightly Steven Spielberg and allowed for fog and smoke to appear around his legs and seductively climb up his legs and around the essence of his wings in order to make it appear as though he did have them out. He was also playing around with the shadows in the kitchen so that they made him look extra evil. He felt like letting out a diabolical sort of laugh but decided against it since Sam was looking terrified but also like he was ready to kill Crowley with a spatula no matter how foolish it may be and the laugh might put him over the edge.

"—Also, I stopped the apocalypse from happening in the mid-1990's while you two were only babies," Crowley shrugged. Suddenly all the cool special effects were gone and the kitchen was just a kitchen (and not a cave in hell) and Crowley was just a human looking being standing five feet or so away from another human wielding a spatula.

"We weren't babies," Sam said defiantly because everyone knows that the only thing you can do after watching a terrifying figure shrink down to normal is argue with them.

"I'm millennia old, you're all babies to me," Crowley shrugged again.`

"So, you're a demon?"

"Angel who didn't so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downward," Crowley corrected.

"Right, and you stopped the apocalypse?"

"Almost single-handedly, with a tyre iron," Crowley added. He knew it was a lie but he was a demon: it's part of the job description.

"And you're with an angel?" Sam asked resisting the urge to do a small pelvic thrust to get his point across (He'd spent too much time with Dean these past few days).

"We have an Arrangement," Crowley said examining his nails completely skating over Sam's obvious meaning. He'd been getting that a lot recently. Aziraphale seriously needed to stop acting so fruity around strangers.

"And you're friends with Cas?" Sam asked lowering the spatula back onto the counter.

"We've actually only met recently,"

"So you're not a bad guy?" Sam asked walking subtly over to the door.

Crowley noticed but allowed it.

"Oh no, I am a bad guy, worst of the worst, level 600. Didn't you hear me tell you about the M25? The difference is I'm more of a spread out kind of bad, a 'tarnish souls' kind of bad. The kind of bad you guys hunt is 'concentrated evil' bad. Not much influence but still really powerfully evil when it comes one-to-one,"

"So do I need to kill you?" Sam asked finally.

"No. I mean you'll probably kill me anyways in my sleep, but you have no need to, I won't hurt you chaps. Also, I was sort of allowed in this bunker and it's, I must admit, pretty terrifying with all the sigils and enochian and all the traps laid under the groundwork, and everything seems to be protected in some way or another, including the two of you," Crowley said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Sam's hand went instinctively to his tattoo.

"Christo," Sam uttered. Crowley seemed to spasm for a second and then let out a shriek. Sam took a step backwards through the doorway.

"Ahh! Oh NO! I'm MELTING! OH MY GO-SA-SOMEONE! Why have you forsaken me?! I'm melting!" Crowley said falling dramatically to the floor and laying very very still eyes fluttering shut.

Suddenly they popped back open and Sam sprung back from where he'd moved closer to examine the demon.

"What part of level 600, and I got through all these trapsss did you not understand?" Crowley hissed un-amused. He stood up and dusted himself off.

"What are you really?" Sam asked. Obviously this 'demon' was lying, all this stuff he'd been doing should have killed him or made him disappear.

"I told you I'm a demon— woa woa woa where did you get that?" Crowley asked motioning to the Demon blade.

"When you 'passed out,' I swiped it from the table outside the doorway," he explained.

"Let's be calm about this Sammy boy,"

"No, tell me what the Hell you are and why nothing works,"

"I'm Crowley, I'm a demon, I told you,"

"Then why doesn't anything work,"

"I'm level 600, hardly anything works, that blade though…" Crowley said, eyes never straying from the blade. He shook his head of the thoughts, "And besides all that, I mean you boys and the angels no harm."

"How can I be sure of that?" Sam asked.

They were dancing circles around each other now.

"The spell," Crowley said.

"What spell?" Sam asked. Then he realized he had made an awful mistake in allowing the demon to dance circles because as soon as he had the demon had gotten himself near the door.

Crowley huffed and stormed through the doorframe.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sam said grabbing a lamp as he followed Crowley.

Please picture Sam fumbling with a demon blade in one hand as he struggles to get a grip on the rather large lamp and unplug it from the outlet.

Makes sense that Crowley isn't nearly as afraid of him as he had been huh?

"Oh for heav- hel- Earth's sakesss Sam, if I had wanted to escape I would've popped out of here with a snap of my fingers. I want to show you the marking over the door," Crowley said pointing at an almost imperceptible marking above the door frame.

"That," Crowley said "Is a 'True Intentions' sigil. As you can see it's in enochian but not quite modern day, more around the 16th or 17th century style of writing, back before everything went really bad up there. It's a spell the charges of Angels, who know their angel firsthand, carve over the doors of their houses. It's meant to ensure that no one who plans on harming the people inside can be allowed in unless summoned," Crowley explained hoping to appeal to the inner geek that was Sam Winchester. "You didn't summon me, and I didn't burn up the minute I walked in so, it's safe to say you can trust me. Of course that is never enough for you," Crowley said materializing a pencil and sheet of paper. He put the paper over the mark and traced over the marking, "Here you go," Crowley said handing the paper over to Sam, "Go do your research on it."

Sam stared at the paper in his hands and felt torn. He sort of did want to trust the demon, but he also wanted to make sure.

"How do you know so much about us?"

"Cass has the biggest mouth. Non-stop story telling the whole ride over. Dean said this, Sam did that, Dean does it like this, Sam says it's because of that, on and on and on,"

Sam was still skeptical.

"Sam, just go and hurry up and handcuff me like you were planning on doing,"

"How'd you know—"

"The handcuffs I can see behind your back," Crowley said pointing. Crowley turned around, giving Sam his back and put his arms behind him to be locked up.

"It's just a precaution," Sam said restraining Anthony with the handcuffs that had the sigils they'd used on the other Crowley.

"Yeah, yeah, Cass said you were careful," Crowley said before taking a seat on the sofa, "Will you turn on the telly? I have a feeling there's a Golden Girls marathon. There's always a Golden Girls Marathon when I want to watch." Crowley explained trying to put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him to make himself comfortable. Sam assured the demon was incapable of escape and then went to research.

"Hey Sam," he yelled a few seconds later.

"What?"

"Will you grab my sunglasses for me, I'd hate for Dean to walk in on me in handcuffs etched in spellwork and golden eyes and decide to kill me,"

"He wouldn't—"

"Yes, he would,"

Crowley heard a chair scraping on the floor as it was pushed back and fast footsteps searching the bunker.

They approached the room where Crowley was and Sam appeared. He handed Crowley a pair of novelty glasses, you know, the kind that are ten times too big for a person's head and have fake eyelashes attached?

"What the he- French is that?" Crowley asked.

"I couldn't find regular sunglasses,"

"You mean to tell me the Men of Letters had novelty glasses that are basically WORTHLESS and yet they didn't have a pair of normal sunglasses?"

Sam shrugged and perched the glasses on the grumbling demon's nose.

* * *

Author's Note: Hah, I really liked writing the part about the glasses.

Review if you've got time or feel up to it. :)


	13. X Marks the Plot

**_Author's Note_**: Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the wait on what has now been a chapter that has basically existed since Apology Pie was published. I'm sorry for being a terrible person and everything else. Anyways I hope you enjoy.

**_Disclaimer_**: I wish I owned Castiel, but prayers only get you so far.

**_Warnings_**: Pizza Man and a little room that has a curtain over it in a video rental store (Actually, now that I think about it, that little room is going to be the inspiration for a different chapter. It'll be called Coming Soon Oh MY GOODNESS EXTRA POINTS FOR THE DOUBLE INNUENDO! You have just laid witness to how most of these chapters and their titles happen.).

On with the Story!

* * *

Castiel and Aziraphale had been like two kids in a candy store once they entered the Video Rental store.

"There are so many!"

"Look at all the little cases!"

"They look like soldiers all ready to go off to war,"

"Everything is so well organized, I mean, it needs some work but nonetheless, it's lovely!"

"There are VHS and DVD and something called Blue Ray!"

"Dean why does that room have a curtain over it?"

"Dean, why is this one rated X?"

Dean on the other hand, felt like a well-meaning mother who worried about cavities and root canals as her boys scurried around a candy shop.

"Don't go in there Cas," he said pulling Cas away from the curtained room.

"Aziraphale, don't read the description on that one," he said pulling the case out of Aziraphale's hands.

"Come here, the two of you," Dean said. Castiel and Aziraphale filed in front of him like two children in a candy store who were just told by their well-meaning mother who worried about cavities and root canals that they weren't allowed to buy anything.

"You guys can't get movies from this room, or movies that say Rated X, alright?"

"Why not?" Castiel asked curiously head cocked to one side.

"Because those are uh, they're the um," Dean said flushing nervously "They're the Pizza Man movies and I'd rather you two didn't watch them,"

"Oh," Castiel said nodding in understanding. He tugged on Aziraphale's arm and led him to some movies along the wall farthest away from the curtained room.

Dean gave a long suffering sigh and shook his head clear. He decided to check out the Action movies.

Aziraphale on the other hand was still confused.

"What did he mean 'Pizza Man movies'?"

And then as Castiel and Aziraphale looked for the most tear-inducing chick flicks ever filmed Castiel explained to Aziraphale the plot of the Pizza Man movie he had watched.

"It sounds ridiculous," Aziraphale said and figured the X-rating must be a sign to not watch the movie because they were ridiculous and plotless. Like a sort of warning, like the people in charge of deciding the ratings on movies said 'Ugh, mark that one no, it's terrible! Cross it out or something."

Dean groaned as Aziraphale and Castiel came up to him with their finds a few minutes later.

"Alright dear, you're the movie expert, which should we watch?" Aziraphale asked as he set down a small tower of cases of VHS and DVD's and Blu-ray. Castiel set his pile down next to it. The cashier sort of stared un-amused at the group. He was sure he was going to have to be the one to put all the things back where they belonged.

Dean sent the cashier a scowl and moved back to the piles. They each reached up almost to his waist.

Aziraphale's pile consisted of films like "Just Like Heaven" and "The Notebook" and "The Passion of The Cross" and "The Titanic" and oddly enough a documentary on the construction of many buildings in Italy.

Dean gave him an odd look when he found it.

"It talks about the Sistine Chapel," Aziraphale said simply. Dean shook his head with a small laugh and handed back all the movies but "The Notebook", "The Titanic" and "The Phantom Menace". Aziraphale went to work putting them all properly away (much to the surprise [and relief] of the cashier)

Castiel's pile on the other hand consisted of "Lassie" and "Old Yeller" and "Field of Dreams" and "The Iron Giant" and oddly enough "The Dark Knight Rises".

Dean said "What the Hell?" as he found it nestled next to another sad movie involving loyal dogs and "The Princess Bride".

"It's about Batman isn't it? We were thinking about letting you join us," Castiel explained when Dean asked him about it.

Dean would die (again) before he'd admit that it made his heart twinge at the thought of the ex-angels allowing Dean to join them in their self-pity. Then he found the Pizza Man Movie Castiel had watched and asked when the hell the former angel had gotten into the closed off room when Dean was sure no one had gotten in without him noticing.

"I wanted to show Aziraphale how ridiculous it was!" Castiel explained.

Dean told Castiel to put back all the movies (including the Pizza Man one) but left "Field of Dreams", "The Princess Bride," and "The Iron Giant" behind with Aziraphale's choices.

Aziraphale paid the now very polite cashier (He had to be polite seeing as Aziraphale had taken the time to reorganize the entire store as he had been looking for movies.) and they all left. This time, Dean was able to convince Cas to sit up front so he didn't look like he was being carjacked… Or so he said (really the front seat was very spacious and rather lonely when you knew your angel was in the back.).

At the grocery store Dean once again felt like a long-suffering mother as Castiel and Aziraphale raced ahead to look for everything they needed. Dean grabbed a cart and headed after them. Eventually the car was filled with assorted candies, chips, cherries, ice cream tubs and toppings along with a few frozen pizzas and other groceries Sam had asked him to get while they were there. Castiel and Aziraphale had gone to the far wall yelling "We'll be right back!" at Dean who was deciding which scent fabric softener he wanted. Castiel hesitated though and turned back around. He walked briskly back to Dean and gave him a hug.

"Thank you," he said and ran off again.

Dean stood shell-shocked for a few seconds before deciding to go with vanilla and moving onto the next aisle.

In a little more than five minutes they found Dean making his way towards a check out line.

"Where were you two?" he asked taking in their appearance. They looked flushed and were panting slightly.

"Nowhere," Castiel lied (badly) stuffing his hands into his trench coat pockets.

"Just exploring the store," Aziraphale said pulling at his tartan bowtie.

"Uh-huh," Dean said not believing a word they said.

"Well hello handsome," the cashier whose name tag declared her to be Alice smiled at Castiel.

"Hello Alice," Castiel said in that innocent little voice of his.

"The pie thing went well?"

Castiel glanced at Dean's confused face and then back at Alice.

"As well as could have been hoped for,"

They left the store and Castiel walked unnervingly close to Dean.

"Cas what the Hell?!" Dean asked jumping back when Cas slipped his arm through Dean's.

"I saw other people do it,"

"Those people are couples Cas!" Dean said pushing Castiel away, "Personal space Cas!"

Castiel didn't seem to mind and instead seemed relieved.

Dean felt his left jacket pocket for the keys to his baby. Then he checked his pants pockets.

"What the hell!? Where the hell are my— oh," Dean said as he found them in his right jacket pocket.

'Weird,' he thought 'I never put them in my right one,'

Castiel and Aziraphale got into the back of the car while Dean put the groceries in the back. He got into the driver's seat and frowned at the soft whispers between the two former angels in the back.

"Cas, what the hell man, get up here,"

"Dean, I think I'd rather sit in the back,"

"Suit yourself," Dean said backing out of the parking lot feeling only a little hurt that Cas would choose to sit with Aziraphale instead of him.

They made it back to the bunker and Dean turned off the engine.

"Dean, before we get out, we'd like to present you with something," Castiel stated leaning forward over the front seat. Aziraphale followed suit with a well-protected white pastry box.

"We got you another pie dear," Aziraphale said proudly.

"It's rhubarb," Castiel added as he handed Dean the box.

"Open it!" Aziraphale urged as Dean continued to stare at the box slack-jawed.

"How'd you get this in here without me knowing?" Dean asked turning almost right into Cas's face.

"We went to the bakery, paid for the pie, and when I had hugged you I had taken your car keys and so we snuck the pie into the Impala," Cas said, "Then when I grabbed your arm I put the keys back."

Dean stared into his angel's blue orbs. Yes, he liked how that sounded. His angel. Even if Cas wasn't a real angel anymore, he was still Dean's angel.

"So are you going to open it?" Castiel asked before shifting a little away from Dean. He didn't want to get in trouble for forgetting about personal space again in one car trip.

The shift in positions seemed to have reminded Dean there was a pie in his lap. He opened the box, and there was a beautiful, flaky-looking, golden pie crust with the words 'Thank You' in green icing, the same color as last time. However, instead of one blue-eyed frowny face there were two blue-eyed smiley faces, one with yellow lines for hair and one with dark brown lines for hair.

Dean chuckled once and closed the box gently.

"You guys really are angels,"

Aziraphale beamed and Castiel gave him a small satisfied smile.

Finally they got out of the car.

They walked into the bunker and saw Crowley with his feet on the coffee table flipping through channels (there were only so many times a Demon could watch Golden Girls comfortably), using his tongue to press the buttons.

"Crowley, that is unsanitary!" Aziraphale admonished.

Crowley smirked. This coupled with the novelty sunglasses made Dean laugh.

"I made Sam sanitize the control don't worry,"

"What in the world is going on here?" Dean asked.

Sam walked in from another room with his laptop.

"Why are you handcuffed?" Castiel asked politely.

"Where are your usual glasses dear?" Aziraphale questioned.

"I can explain Dean," Sam said "Don't kill anyone before I explain," he added.

"What's going on here Sammy?" Dean asked getting suddenly nervous when he realized the handcuffs were etched with spell work.

"What's going on here is that Samantha over there is really kinky when it comes to sex which include dress-up and handcuffs. It explains the long hair," Crowley declared winking suggestively.

"CROWLEY!" everyone shouted.

Crowley snickered and stood as Sam undid the handcuffs still blushing at what Crowley was implying. Crowley replaced the novelty glasses with his usual pair with a short wave of his hand and sauntered out of the room.

"Zirah, explain I'm not going to do anything bad while I barricade myself in my room,"

"What does he mean barricade?" Dean asked.

"I can explain," Castiel, Sam and Aziraphale said as Crowley left.

Dean sat down and opened his pie box.

"This should be good," he said grabbing a fork that had mysteriously not been there a few seconds ago.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**: Gosh darn it Crowley! Anyways, the idea popped into my head that Sam doesn't want his hair cut because he likes to Cross-dress sometimes. Food for thought. I hope this was worth the wait. And I'm sorry for the wait and I'll be updating bi-weekly from now on (Mondays and Thursdays [hah, oh look I'll be updating on Thursdays very ineffable of me. Total coincidence I swear.]). This week though I will update on Wednesday and Thursday just because I want to get to the actual relationship stuff. The first relationship will be Dean and Cas in case anyone was wondering.


	14. Where's Kevin?

Author's Note: Alright you guys! I know I'm a day early but I had to sort of, well, explain what exactly it is that happened to Kevin since really, i never even explained... Sorry... Anyways, yeah, it's kind of feels rushed to me, I hope it's not but it is. All of the people who read this are so awesome, especially the ones whom i've talked to through PM or a reply to a review, you guys are great people!

Disclaimer: I own Supernatural just as much as i own Good Omens, and we all know i have no ownership when it comes to Good Omens.

Warnings: Naked Crowley. :)

* * *

I realize now I never explained what happened to Kevin. He stayed the first day Dean and Sam showed at the bunker for a few hours, explained what was going on with the machines and stuff but with Dean delirious with worry, Sam gave him a key to a Safe House not too far from the bunker (but still sufficiently far) and promised he'd call when everything was settled before promptly fainting from trial detox (if you could call it that). Kevin hauled Sam into his room (not wanting to worry Dean more), kept Sam's feet elevated slapped him a few times, poured some water on his face and then Sam woke up. Kevin said he was leaving, bade him farewell and Sam fell asleep.

What happened to the angels? People mistook them for meteors since humans only ever see what they want to see and the angels all became humans living around the streets but no one ever really noticed the increase in the homeless population and they had this aura around them that made humans want to take them in. It was probably the tears they shed or how technically they were all related and God's kids or something equally sappy. The angry ones just got angry and people ignored them and it was okay. No extra havoc was wrecked or anything.

Most of the angels began to believe this was all on God and that He was back and He was upset and that He had decided to kick them all out of heaven kind of like Adam and Eve and so they felt bad and resolved to be good humans. Lots of them began human lives of varying degrees of tragedy and happiness. Not one of the fallen knew the truth. Not one knew Metatron's role in it. After all the only ones who knew were Naomi and Castiel and Naomi was dead and Castiel wasn't planning on telling too many people anytime soon, they might come looking for him and hurt Dean or Sam or Aziraphale or Crowley in the process. So no way was he telling. He'd only told Aziraphale and his brother hadn't really pried into it.

So this is the day when Kevin calls Sam because it's been four days and he knows that four days is only four days but it's also four whole days and four whole days on the verge of death usually means that whoever was dying is now dead. He was beginning to worry this was true for Sam as well. He felt Dean would probably kill himself if Sam was dead and Castiel was missing so he decided to call Sam's phone. At worst he'd get voicemail and be left wondering whether Sam lived or not, at best he'd get a message saying the number he had dialed was disconnected meaning no one was at the number meaning Sam was dead meaning Dean was well on his way to an alcohol-clouded suicide. Always the optimist that Kevin. What he actually got however, was completely unexpected.

"Hello?" asked a voice. What was unexpected was that it sounded alive.

"Sam?" Kevin asked stupidly. He was not expecting to hear Sam's voice.

"Yeah, hey Kevin,"

"I was sure you'd be dead,"

"What?"

"You were fainting every few minutes when I left, I thought you'd be dead,"

"Nah, turns out that was the last day of fainting spells,"

"Oh thank God," Kevin said (The irony was not lost on him but he didn't have time for irony. Sam was alive which meant Dean probably was not. One can never have more than one Winchester alive after crazy shit (like angels falling) goes down.).

"More like Metatron," Sam muttered.

"What was that?" Kevin asked being pulled away from his 'Dean's dead,' thoughts.

"Nothing, hey I'm sorry for not calling. We've been busy this afternoon making sure Dean doesn't go killing houseguests.

_'I'm going to kill that son of a bitch,'_

_'Dean, no!'_

_'He's a Demon, Aziraphale Demons are the bad guys,'_

_'But Dean,'_

_'He's a level 600! I'm pretty damn sure that's knight status or something,' Dean began ramming himself into the door to Crowley's room trying to budge it open._

_'The fuck did you do Crowley?'_

_'I miracled up some nails and wooden boards; I'm going to take a nap now,'_

_'Crowley!' Dean yelled. He stomped out of the Batcave._

_'Where do you think he went?' Castiel asked. His question was soon answered when Dean returned with a chainsaw._

_'DEAN!' everyone yelled. Aziraphale heard faint snoring from inside Crowley's room._

_Suddenly Dean stopped. He tugged on the electrical wire on the chainsaw and groaned._

_'The goddamn thing isn't long enough,'_

_'Ineffable,' Aziraphale muttered rolling his eyes._

_'Dean, if Crowley said he's not going to do anything bad and my brother has decided to have a relationship—'_

_'Arrangement,' Aziraphale and Sam piped in. Aziraphale shot a look at Sam who simply shrugged. Crowley had seemed pretty insistent that they only had n Arrangement._

_'With him, then you have no right to kill him.' Castiel said calmly, 'If anything, I believe human customs dictate that I am the only one allowed to do any bodily harm to Crowley should he hurt my brother emotionally or otherwise,' he said frowning and cocking his head slightly as if trying to remember the exact name of the 'Hurt my sibling and I will end you' threat Older siblings gave to a younger sibling's significant others._

_Dean could not help but agree with him on that._

"If you want to head on over here, come by whenever," Sam continued shaking his head at the memory.

"Is Dean alright?" Kevin asked unwilling to believe he had just heard Sam mention Dean and that neither of the brothers was dead.

"Oh yeah, Cas showed up with another angel and a demon friend and a nice car and pie last night so he's fine. In fact said ex-angels are now having pity parties,"

"Really?" Kevin asked choosing to ignore the demon part and finally relaxing in his seat. He hadn't even realized he'd been so tense.

"Yeah, like real parties and I don't think they understand they're supposed to be upset and crying and stuff. All they're doing is pointing out flaws in the movies they're watching," Sam said before explaining further.

And for the first time in a long time Kevin laughed.

And all was okay with the world for a moment as two friends laughed at the childish antics of two other friends and an older brother tried in vain to take the phone away from his younger brother's hands and a demon friend hissed in amusement at the sight and everyone was alive and there were no monsters or trials or translations looming over anyone's heads. Everything was just okay.

Kevin decided he would visit the next day.

When he arrived he didn't understand what he saw. Tools were laid out outside and a huge piece of plywood was being measured and marked. Two people were bickering back and forth and it took Kevin a few minutes to realize one of them was Castiel since he wasn't wearing his trench coat.

"Hey Cas," Kevin greeted as he approached.

"Hello Kevin," Castiel said looking up from the marks he was making. He got up and went to the prophet and shook his hand, "Listen, I'm sorry about—"

"It's cool," Kevin said shrugging "Everyone was freaking out. Where's your coat?" he asked pointing at the t-shirt and jeans Castiel was wearing.

"Dean made me take it off," Castiel replied frowning, "It's currently mingling in soapy water with fifteen other tan and light colored shirts and a pair of tan slacks that belong to him," Castiel said pointing at Aziraphale, "Coincidently, I'd like you to meet my brother, Aziraphale. Aziraphale meet Kevin Tran, Prophet of the Lord," Castiel said making proper introductions just like Crowley taught him.

(It had been an hour spent in the Bentley on their way to the bunker with Crowley explaining that introductions were best made before the people said 'Aren't you going to introduce us?' or 'Who the hell is that?' or any variation of the two phrases)

"Hello Kevin," Aziraphale said extending a hand.

"Hey Aziraphale," Kevin said smiling politely, "What are you guys doing?" he asked gesturing to all the odd drawings, printed out sheets of paper and tape measures strewn around.

"Dean told me to do something productive other than stare at the washing machine while I waited for my coat so I went into Aziraphale's room to talk and we began having a discussion about whether or not there was enough room for Jack and Rose on the door in the middle of the Atlantic. We've decided to figure it out once and for all," he said explaining the wood was to make a replica of the door.

"Sam mentioned you were watching Titanic when I called,"

"You called? I was not informed."

"It was short, just long enough to find out if Sam and Dean were okay, I didn't know you had made it back to them,"

"Is that why Sam and Dean were wrestling on the floor over the phone last night?"

"Probably. Anyways, I better go in and say hi, I'll let myself in,"

"Alright," Castiel replied before asking Aziraphale to hand him the electric hand saw.

"You sure you know how to work that?" Kevin asked slightly worried. After all, up until a few days ago all the angel used to have to do was give an intimidating stare at the wood and it would cut itself.

"Dean showed him how," Aziraphale said pointing at a few planks of wood off to the side near a pile of sawdust.

"And besides, Anthony is watching us," Castiel added pointing at a snake on a rock sunbathing when Kevin didn't look convinced. The snake lazily lifted its head a hissed.

Kevin shrugged and headed inside. No one can say he didn't try.

He stepped inside the bunker before realizing he left two former angels in the care of a snake. What the hell? Who the hell leaves two newly human beings in the care of a snake? Snakes were the cause of the fall of humans in the first place! What was he thinking!?

(That, kevin would later muse, was probably what God was asking himself when he left Adam and Eve alone in the garden.)

"Hey Kevin!" Sam said happily once he saw Kevin let himself in.

"Who's Anthony?" Kevin asked.

"The only pet Dean will allow in here," Sam grumbled glancing at Dean as he came in from the other room.

"What?"

"It's a long story, you want a beer?" Dean asked before disappearing into the kitchen for a few.

A few hours later Kevin would have convinced Dean he didn't need to stay in the bunker and that the safe house was just fine for now and not to worry about him. Dean insisted he stay somewhere else though since the house was in pretty bad shape. So that was how Dean ended up giving Kevin a new key, this one an inconspicuous silver key to a nice house in New Jersey. Sam hinted that Princeton was in New Jersey and actually within driving distance of Kevin's new abode.

They walked Kevin to the door of the bunker and opened it to find two soaked former angels sitting on top of a door shaped piece of plywood with a snake sitting happily between them.

"What the fuck happened?!" Dean asked squishing his way to the ex-angels.

"Where'd the mud come from?" Sam asked glancing up at the clear sky.

"We asked Crowley to provide water to prove that Jack and Rose both could have lived and he didn't wait for us to get on the door," Castiel explained.

"That's why we're wet. And it explains the mud. He decided a sudden flood would be a nice way to give us water. He climbed into a tree beforehand though, the sneaky little snake," Aziraphale said frowning.

"I was right, Jack died for no reason," Castiel declared.

"And I learned how to swim," Aziraphale added.

Crowley changed into a human again and Sam, Dean, and Kevin yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?! CLOTHES!"

"Sssorry," Crowley hissed as he snapped on a suit. Castiel and Aziraphale noted it was probably best to be wearing clothes when around others at all times.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh YEAH! I'm PUMPED! SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW. which I admit is weird because it's wednesday but, who cares? I can watch Supernatural reruns after what i know will be a tiring first day back and stuff. ALSO! TOMORROW I WILL BE POSTING THE FIRST EVER CHAPTER OF ACTUAL DESTIEL RELATIONSHIPY STUFF AGHEHAJOHNA i swear that those letters are a coincidence. I SWEAR, it was just random tying. Anyways! stick around for some DESTIEL! finally after 14 chapters. :)


	15. Midnight Pinky Promises

Author's Note: So I was editing it and stuff started sounding weird and I was like, 'huh,' and so I re-read it and I realize, I switched tenses in the middle (from past to present) ARGH! I had to go back and change all the verbs and stuff. Anyways, i hated writing this chapter it was a female dog of a chapter to write but in the end, I sort of started to feel proud of it kind of. See you folks tomorrow!

Disclaimer:I wouldn't be posting so late if it were mine.

Warnings:No one's naked. On with the story.

* * *

Castiel was satisfied. His whole goal had been to come check on Dean and Sam and make sure they were alright, make sure he was forgiven and make sure everything would continue on as it always had when it came to the Winchester family business. Everything had checked out. Now it was time for Castiel to go. He decided to forgo sleep that night and instead pack a duffle bag with all that would probably be needed. At half past midnight he walked out of the room (for the last time he reflects), trench-coat-clad and began walking down the hall. He liked how the trench coat smelled now. It was a nice vanilla-y smell he supposed. It had never smelled this way before. It had always smelled like new clothes. Castiel was trying to figure out where exactly he had smelled new clothes before in order to make the comparison when a door opened. Castiel turned around when he heard a quiet and breathy 'Cas?'

"Hello Dean," Castiel answered after figuring out who it was.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean asked slightly groggy.

"I'm leaving,"

"Late night outing Cas? Gonna go pick up a pie?" Dean asked, now fully awake.

Castiel quirked his head and squinted his eyes slightly. He had thought he made it perfectly clear. Dean sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly.

"That's where you're supposed to lie about where you're going man,"

"I'd rather not leave you with a lie Dean." Castiel said simply. Dean nodded and didn't know whether to be glad for the truth of upset by it.

"Where are you going to go?" Dean asks trying to casually lean against the wall.

"To the motel in town and then maybe the next state over," Cas answered vaguely. No use in trying to hide (no, not hide, get away he reminds himself) from the Winchesters if they're just going to find him in a few days.

"You're sure about this?" Dean asked awkwardly unsure of where he was going with all of this, unsure of how to proceed. Wouldn't you be unsure about how to keep someone from leaving? Wouldn't you be unsure of how to say goodbye to someone who has begun to mean the world to you?

"I am fairly certain. After all I don't want you to go through any more unnecessary danger. I feel that if I stay, I'll only be risking your safety along with your brother's." Castiel responded.

It was silent for a few moments. Dean really has no idea what to say and Castiel feels the urge to leave before anyone else wakes up. Dean kept his eyes averted from Castiel's figure but Castiel stared, wanting to memorize every feature.

Finally when he has had his fill, Castiel picks up his bag and begins to head for the door realizing that perhaps Dean is only waiting out of his bedroom so he can make sure Castiel leaves safely and doesn't hurt himself on the way out. He's heard the phrase somewhere before hadn't he? 'Don't let the door hit you on the way out,'?

"I won't let the door hit me when I leave Dean,"

And that phrase and those words and the absurdity and the naivety behind Cas's words are what finally moves Dean to do something to stop his angel from leaving. He grasps for words, something, anything, even if he has no clue what to say after. Anything is better than letting Cas leave this way, not knowing what he means to Dean, not knowing that it doesn't matter if he doesn't have mojo, that it doesn't matter if he can't smite demons, that even if he feels useless he's not, and that usefulness was never the reason Dean needed him. And with these thoughts and with Castiel's hand landing on the doorknob and with Castiel a doorframe away from leaving Dean's life forever, Dean finally happens across the somewhat okay words that'll work here.

"I meant what I said, back at the warehouse, with the angel tablet." He says quickly hoping to stop his angel.

Castiel turns around, his hand on the door knob. He tilts his head and Dean lets out a small laugh. Same old Cas.

Castiel is unsure of what to say so he says nothing at all.

"I meant it, I need you. Not your mojo, not your powers, not an angel, I need you. Makes sense?" he asks because suddenly the words are failing him, and they're not enough. He takes a few steps towards Cas.

"You have no idea what you're saying Dean, I am not an angel. If Sam gets injured or anything happens, I can't fix him. If you crash your Impala, I can't restore it. If you need to be 'whooshed' somewhere, I can't do it. I am useless to you. I am a terrible ally and of no value to you. I cannot protect, cannot warn you of danger, and cannot be at your beck and call. Do you understand?"

Dean winced. Did his angel really believe that Dean only ever needed him to be at his beck and call? Castiel notices the wince. Dean shakes his head slightly and takes a few steps closer. Castiel notices and wonders if Dean understood the imensity of what he just said.

"Useless Dean," he repeats bringing Dean back to the scene at hand, "Do you know what that means? I looked it up this afternoon. 'Not fulfilling or not expected to achieve the intended purpose or desired outcome,'. I am or rather I was in charge of keeping you safe, in charge of making sure no harm befalls you and after all the mistakes I have made, I have added the duty of restoring all I have erred but I did not close the gates of heaven, and I almost allowed for Sam to die when I was supposed to be protecting you two because I did not heed Naomi's warning. How many of those scars are because of me," Castiel asks motioning to Dean "Or because I couldn't help you in time? I'm an angel of the Lord Dean, and I can't do a single one of my duties correctly."

"You're not their angel anymore, you don't have to protect me, or fix me, or fix Sam, or even the Impala, you don't have to fix heaven. These scars are old and forgiven man, don't worry about 'em," Dean whispers and that is when Castiel realizes that Dean has gotten too close, too close even for him who cannot still quite grasp the concept of personal space. Even with this hindrance though, Cas knows he's too close and he tries to take a step back but can't, the door stops him.

"Stay," Dean whispers.

Castiel looks away nervously, wishing he could further remove himself from this situation, wishing Dean wasn't so close, but at once he might've been wishing that Dean could come closer if only so the former angel could memorize the subtle scent that was characteristically Dean.

"Just stay. You can't just up and leave anymore Cas. You're family. Don't be the type of family that leaves you behind with only a shotgun for protection. Be the kind that promises not to leave and keeps that promise."

Castiel bites his lower lip slightly and wonders where he learned that.

"Are you sure you want me here?"

"Stay," Dean says and leans in to kiss Castiel. Castiel wonders for a moment why Dean has closed his eyes and why he is getting much closer. The moment is broken when a British sounding 'Eeep' comes out from behind them.

Dean turns around and is faced with another former angel awkwardly shifting his eyes away.

Castiel seems amused looking over Dean's shoulder still pressed against the wall.

"Aziraphale? What are you doing awake at such an hour?" Castiel asks still slightly amused.

"I was having a nightmare again so I decided to reorganize the library. The way it is now it's impossible to find anything," he explained "I didn't think anyone else was awake," he added nervously after noticing Dean's slight glare.

"I heard you talking and was worried someone had gotten in. What are you doing with that bag? Why are you pushed against the door?" Aziraphale asked eyes running quickly over the scene before him.

"I was going to take my leave. I did not want to be a burden to the brothers or outstay my welcome. It seems however that Dean would rather I stay," Castiel answered as Dean shifted away in order to allow for Castiel to move away from the door. Castiel takes his chance and walks up to Aziraphale.

"Oh good. Are you off to bed then?" Aziraphale asked eyes gleaming with something akin to amusement.

"Not with the nightmares," Castiel confides.

"Nightmares?" Dean asks.

"I am having nightmares frequently now Dean, I believe since the Fall," Castiel answers turning to face Dean at the door.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's only been a few days. I came to the conclusion that with time they might go away on their own. Aziraphale," he said turning to his brother, "Would it be alright if I helped you?"

"I wouldn't mind the company," Aziraphale shrugged gleam still in his eye.

"Dean, I suggest you go back to sleep, I think you were falling asleep against me a few moments ago,"

Dean rolls his eyes at the ignorance of his angel.

"Yeah, yeah, don't make too much noise. Tomorrow we're talking about the nightmares." Dean says as he walks past the pair to get to his bedroom. He hesitates before getting too far away and turns back pinky outstretched.

"Promise me you won't leave?"

Castiel cocks his head slightly at Dean's pinky and a small smile graces his face.

"I did not know people still made oaths this way," he says before entwining his own pinky with Dean's.

"So you promise?" Deans asks.

"Until you tell me otherwise, I'll stay,"

"Good," Dean says pulling his finger away and heading back to his bedroom.

"Good night Dean, sleep well." Castiel says before following Aziraphale to the library.

"You realize he was going to kiss you right?" Aziraphale asks once they're through the doorframe of the library.

"He was?"

Aziraphale sighed and then explained the way he was organizing everything.

A few minutes into sorting through books and relics Castiel caught the faintest tendrils of a sleepily uttered prayer.

'Cas, I wish you knew,'

"I'll be right back," he tells Aziraphale and walks briskly out to the hallway.

Dean startles out of his sleep when his door is pushed open. Quickly, he goes for the blade he has under his pillow, hunter senses on alert for whatever the hell woke him up.

"Cas?" he asks as the adrenaline wipes the sleep away from his eyes and he can distinguish the figure before him.

"I do know Dean," Castiel says before leaning down and tentatively brushing his lips against Dean's. As he's pulling back, Dean follows before wrapping an arm around Cas's neck and pulling him into a proper kiss.

Castiel pulled away after a few moments.

"Good night Dean," he said as he left the room before closing the door.

Dean watched him leave, heart still fluttering. He let out a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding when he heard footsteps leave in the opposite direction of the door to outside. He closed his eyes and let himself grin. He could still feel the ghost of Cas's lips on his own.

* * *

Author's Note: And so it begins. Aziraphale and Crowley are getting together in the next one, although for them, it'll be more subtle and hardly anything of a change in their relationship I think. According to Wikipedia, Pinky Promises have existed in America since at least 1860. I don't know where Cas was then but, there you go, history lesson for the day. :) Review if you have time.


	16. In Which Aziraphale References Star Wars

**_Author's Note_**: I like it, a lot. One of my favorite chapters. If you're not reading closely you might miss it. I mean, to me it's blatently obvious but in a 'It's blatently obvious! Right?' sort of way. So yeah.

**_Disclaimer_**: Supernatural, Good Omens and Star Wars belong to their respective owners and I'm not any of them.

**_Warnings_**: a kiss.. or two.. I lost count.. Also, Aziraphale has a potty mouth.

* * *

Aziraphale was humming to himself when Castiel returned.

"Where did you go?"

"To kiss Dean,"

"Splendid, it took you two long enough," Aziraphale said smirking. Castiel smiled back and they continued to work on the re-organization of the library. Soon Castiel found his eyelids growing heavy. Aziraphale noticed.

"If you'd like to sit for a while dear there is a very comfortable looking armchair over there,"

"Only for a little while," Castiel said sleepily. As he sat down he fell into a dreamless yet comfortingly empty sleep.

Aziraphale continued humming and then accidently dropped a huge tome. It landed with a loud echoey thud.

"Ooh, Fizzleduff," Aziraphale winced. He glanced quickly at Castiel but luckily his brother did not stir. He let out a relieved sigh and picked the book up. Reading the title, he placed it on a bookshelf with other spell books.

"Fizzleduff?" a voice behind him asked.

Aziraphale jumped and let out a small 'eep,' and turned around hurriedly.

"Shush! You'll wake Castiel!" he whisper-yelled at Crowley.

Crowley snickered but decided to oblige his angel.

"Alright, I'm sorry. So fizzleduff?" Crowley whispered smirk dancing across his lips.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry you had to hear that, I'm such a 'bidet mouth' when something surprises me," Aziraphale said wringing his hands nervously.

"It's 'potty mouth' and adults don't usually say potty mouth,"

"Really? Potty? A bidet is so much dirtier,"

"Yeah well, English is weird, and half the people who speak it probably have no idea what a bidet is anyways."

"Hmm. So what are you doing up?" Aziraphale asked.

"I heard what sounded like a body hitting the floor, I was worried." Crowley said sheepishly.

Aziraphale smiled up at him and gently patted Crowley's cheek.

"Nothing to worry about my dear just a book falling,"

"What are you doing up anyways?" Crowley asked leaning slightly into his angel's touch.

"I couldn't sleep, nightmares," Aziraphale sighed removing his hand and walking back towards a bookcase.

"You didn't tell me you were having nightmares,"

"It's only been a few days. Castiel and I thought they'd go away on their own,"

"Cass is having them too?" Crowley asked turning to the other person in the room.

"Mm," Aziraphale glanced quickly over at his brother looking for signs of disturbed sleep "Not tonight I don't think. It seems he's 'knocked out' for the night,"

"That one you got right angel," Crowley said walking over to Cass. He gently touched a finger to his forehead and watched the subconscious of the former angel's mind.

"Hmm, empty. No dreams, or nightmares," Crowley whispered to Aziraphale.

"Oh good," Aziraphale said tucking another book into its proper place. Crowley walked back to Aziraphale.

"What kinds of nightmares?"

"Oh, the regular sort," Aziraphale said offhandedly.

"The regular sort?"

"You know, the kind humans have," Aziraphale said not wanting to discuss the topic.

Crowley narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Tomorrow, he decided, he was going to have to talk with Dean about these nightmares.

"So Zirah, about the Arrangement,"

"What about?"

"It seems everyone in this world thinks we're" Crowley said motioning between the two of them "A couple. We need to rearrange it or something,"

"Yes, I know. Castiel told me that Dean said it's because of my 'fruitiness'. He said I'm gayer than a tree on nitrous oxide."

Crowley stifled a laugh.

"Which is ridiculous I might add," Aziraphale said either ignoring or unaware of the humor Crowley found in this.

"Why angel?" Crowley asked curiously watching as the ex-angel moved a few books around in supposed alphabetical order (but really how can you alphabetize enochian?).

"We are sexless creatures unless we—oh."

"Oh?"

"I forgot, I'm human," Aziraphale said sheepishly "I'm pretty er, sexful I guess one might say," Aziraphale said staring at the bookshelf in front of him but not really seeing it.

Crowley snickered.

"Crowley," Aziraphale scolded.

"Sorry,"

Aziraphale sighed and continued organizing. After a few more moments Aziraphale turned to face the demon.

"We _should_ review the Arrangement," Aziraphale reminded.

"Angels have fallen, you're human, you're brother's crush thinks you're gay, you find yourself 'sexful' for the first time in your existence and yet all you can think of is rearranging the Arrangement?"

"Yes, you brought it up"

"Alright then," Crowley said planting a kiss on Aziraphale's lips. He pulled away to find a beatific smile on Aziraphale's lips, "The Arrangement: Amendment 15,"

"Sixteen,"

"Really? I thought—"

"Nope, remember? 'Thy shalt not let thy companion awaken with a hangover'?"

"No,"

"Well you were drunk, but it's there,"

"I trust you," Crowley said which was an odd thing to say since demons don't really go around trusting one another. Crowley though, knew he could trust Aziraphale with at least the Arrangement—

"Amendment Sixteen: I love you angel,"

"I know," Aziraphale whispered before leaning up slightly to kiss Crowley again.

—and at most, Crowley could trust Aziraphale with his heart.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**: Favorite quote from Star Wars, Nothing will ever beat it in my eyes (you know, probably). Anyways, yeah, just really fluffy. From now on, the chapters are all going to probably be fluff and stuff and unlike these first however many I'm up to now, the rest will happen over a more spaced out timeline instead of the first few days after the fall and stuff. Okay, I lied, the next chapter deals with Sam, it's Sam-centric I guess you could call it and talks about the morning after this night in these last two chapters, then the next chapter after that is again couple-centered and during the night of the next morning, and then we FINALLY get to the chapters where it's a bunch of random prompts spread out over weeks all culminating to the end chapter that is already written and will be posted the day before the new season premiers. Sorry this note was so long. Also, sorry I posted so late. See you Monday!


	17. Sampunzel, Sampunzel Cut Off Your Hair

Author's note: sorry this is so late, i'll probably post twos short chapters thursday. Also, i'll explain this one a little more later.

Disclaimer: Not mine

Warnings: sort of non-con when it comes to Sam's dream.

* * *

Sam stared at his reflection in the mirror.

_'I don't care what Dean says, this is NOT princess hair. This is sex-god hair, this is Roman gladiator hair, this is NOT Rapunzel hair,'_

Running a brush through it one more time he felt better about it.

"It's nice hair Sam," he told himself setting the comb down and heading into the kitchen. As he entered he noticed that everyone else was already in there speaking in hushed tones.

"Hey everyone," he said a tad suspiciously wondering why they were being so quiet. Upon entering everyone stopped. He shot a look at his brother.

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing especially important," Dean said with a small frown. Sam was unconvinced. He turned to Crowley.

"I suppose I'm supposed to say something inappropriate and then have Aziraphale nag me right?"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale nagged.

Castiel stood up and retrieved a few glasses and a carton of juice.

"Would anyone care for juice?"

Aziraphale and Dean nodded and Castiel began serving.

"Sure, serve me a glass Cass?" Crowley said and snickered, "Oh, look at that, aren't I clever, I rhymed Cass and Glass."

Sam stared at the demon in confusion. Was he drunk or something?

"Let me bring out more glasses, would you care for some Sam?"

"Um, uh yeah sure," Sam said. Castiel nodded and got two more glasses.

Soon they all had glasses in front of them. Sam took a sip of the orange juice and grimaced. He set down the cup.

"Something the matter Sammy?"

"It has too much pulp,"

"Only way to drink Orange Juice Sam," Dean responded twirling his juice around in the cup. Sam noticed Dean and Cas were sitting considerably closer. Then he realized something else.

"Wait, I drank juice the day Kevin came, it didn't have any pulp in it,"

All four of his friends looked up at him and became nervous.

"Um," Castiel said biting his lip.

"What's going on here?" Sam asked.

"Alright, look Sam. There's something we need to discuss," Dean said folding his hands on the table in front of him.

"Look Dean," Sam said angrily, he tried to lean forward but found he was frozen. Sam tried to move anything, his fingers, his hands, his feet, anything! Nothing would move.

"What the hell did you do to me!?" Sam yelled.

"Sam, calm down nothing bad is going to happen, we just want to tell you about something without you running away or getting angry and 'decking us' so we added something to your juice," Aziraphale explained

Really that should have been Sam's first clue. Since when does Aziraphale use a phrase like that right?

"Okay fine, tell me already," Sam had an inkling of an idea about what this was about and it was sort of staring him right in the face with Castiel and Dean sitting so close. He glanced away from them and back at Aziraphale.

"Um, I believe your brother would like to tell you," Aziraphale said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Dean?" Sam asked turning his head to face his brother. At least he could still move that. He noticed Castiel now had his legs up on Dean's and Dean had a hand on Castiel's knee squeezing it gently.

_'WHAT THE HELL!?' _Sam thought. Dean DID NOT express affections like that so clearly. No, if anything was going on between Cas and Dean, it would be subtle the first few weeks, Dean wasn't about to give up his 'macho man' façade so easily. Suddenyl Dean pushed Castiel's legs off his own. Cas did not seem upset or anything though. Dean almost didn't seem to notice anything had gone on.

That should have been Sam's second clue.

"It's about your hair," Dean responded.

"My hair?" Sam asked confused.

"Yes, your princess locks, your Rapunzel hair," Cas clarified.

That should have been a third clue.

Crowley snapped his fingers and suddenly something found itself draped over Sam's front and shoulders. He looked down and saw it was a white sheet, in front of him was a pair of scissors and an electric razor and (what he hoped was an ironically placed) a pair of gardening shears.

"Now Sam," Aziraphale said standing and approaching Sam. Sam glanced around at the rest of his friends terrified. They all gotten up and were now all approaching Sam.

"This won't hurt one bit," Aziraphale said, a pair of scissors in his hand. He turned to look at Dean and he too had a pair of scissors. Crowley and Cas's hands bore the same tool.

"No, oh no, no no no no no," Sam said trying in vain to move, to escape.

Suddenly, Sam was gasping for air. He looked around and found himself sitting in his own room. Glancing at his clock, he realized it was early morning. He took a few more deep calming breaths before lying back down.

It was just a dream.

_'Just a dream,' _Sam repeated internally before falling into a peaceful sleep again.

At least he wasn't having third trial nightmares anymore.

He woke up a few hours later slightly exhausted by the ordeal the night before. He got dressed and then ran a comb through his hair feeling a strange sense of Déjà vu. Ignoring it, he made his way to the kitchen. Dean, Castiel, and Crowley were sitting at the table laughing at something Crowley had said while Aziraphale cooked breakfast. (It appeared to be a cake made of omelets and cheese and bacon)

"Morning everyone," Sam said before taking his place at the table.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Dean winked eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Jerk," Sam muttered.

"I heard that bitch," Dean retorted still smiling.

"Castiel, be a dear and help me serve the juice?" Aziraphale asked returning to the table with plates full of steaming omelet cakes and sides of crispy bacon. Castiel stood up from his chair next to dean and went into the kitchen. He returned with a stack of cups and a carton of Orange Juice along with a pitcher of water.

"Would you care for Juice Sam?" Castiel asked setting a cup in front of Sam.

"Uh, no thanks, I'll just have some water today,"

"What the hell Sam, yesterday you were bitching about how you needed juice without pulp and now when your loving brother has provided you with freaking pulpless juice you don't want any?"

"Just don't feel like juice today alright Dean?" Sam answered and took a sip of water.

"That is the last time I get you pulpless juice," Dean said taking a bite of the omelets.

The rest of breakfast Dean couldn't help but notice Sam fidgeting every few minutes almost as though checking if he still could. He'd roll his eyes and try to ignore him but it still nagged at him in the back of his mind. Eventually, Aziraphale and Castiel excused themselves for the library to continue working on organization. Just as Cas was walking out of the kitchen following behind his brother, Sam couldn't help but notice the way Cas squeezed Dean's shoulder in a sort of encouraging manner.

"Sammy, there's something we need to.. talk about," Dean said leaning back in his chair and running his hands across his face.

Suddenly Sam began panicking. It was his dream all over again.

"NO! Not again!" Sam shot up out of his chair making sure he could still move, "Look Dean, I know you don't like my hair much, I know you think it's princess hair, but I see it as like, a lion's mane alright? Do you know what happens when you cut off a lion's mane? They die, from embaressment and humiliation and stuff. Do you want me to DIE?!" Sam asked.

Dean stared up at his younger brother in shock. It all might've been comical had Sam not been on the verge of dying only a few days ago.

"What? No Sam, we're not going to talk about your hair. Geez, you're too self-centered. We're talking about me," Dean joked.

"What?" Sam asked clearly confused. He was feeling more and more confused all the time these days.

"Seriously though Sammy, what happened?"

"Nothing, just I had a bad dream is all," Sam muttered "So what were we going to discuss?"

"Sam,"

"Dean,"

"What did you dream of?"

Sam hesitated for a moment. Dean gave him a stern that said 'You-better-'fess-up-or-else". Then it pured out of him, every detail. He watched as Dean smiled at Sam's internal monologue of encouragement while brushing his hair, frowned at the whispers at the table, tense at the whole random scene with Castiel, and grimace at the way they had jumped him at the end.

"And then I woke up and I told myself it was just a dream and went back to sleep," Sam finished.

"First of all," Dean began after a moment's reflection "I don't care how long you want to grow out your hair, just when you do decide to shave it all off, could you do it piece by piece or something? Like can you just cut off a few inches the first time, and then a little more the next time until you're finally bald? It's all I ask man,"

Sam chuckled at this and Dean allowed himself a small smile, "Deal," he replied.

"Second of all, we won't hurt you, especially not me Sammy, not now, not ever. Don't forget that alright? And if I ever do cause you pain, it's not intentional alright?"

"Yeah," Sam said "Yeah, I think I can finally say I believe that now," Sam said. He noticed Dean tense "I mean to say, I finally realize it's always been this way. I know we fight a lot, and I know this stuff, the uh supernatural shit we deal with, I know that it tends to make loners out of us all. Even through all the bad stuff we've been through though we can at least say we've got one another," Sam said "Maybe that's all that matters, maybe that's what life's about, finding the people who can deal with your bat-shit-crazy lives and deal with your history and not care and just still be there at your side, no matter what."

Dean relaxed slightly, "You know I'll always have to play big brother to you right Sam? You know I'll always have to protect you and make sure you're okay? You know I care about you and I wish I could've just left you in Stanford all those years back because I didn't want to pull you back into this. I'll admit it was the craziest, most selfish thing I've ever done in my life. That's why I need to make sure you're okay, because if you get hurt, it won't be anyone's fault but my own, because I let you come back to this. I'm sorry for that,"

"Hunting was going to suck me back in anyways, at least the way it happened I had a semblance of control over it,"

Dean smiled and reached out across the table to rest a hand on Sam's forearm. He squeezed just tight enough to register in Sam's mind and pull him out of his thoughts.

"You know I'll always feel like I need to prove to you that I'm good enough? You know I'll always need to prove that I can do things on my own? To prove that I'm not just a little brother, that I'm equal? That's the way it's always been Dean, since day one. I've always felt that to be something in your eyes, I needed to prove myself. I know it's not a good way to think, I know it's sort of sad actually but Dean, that's just the law of younger brothers,"

"We're just playing our roles I guess?" Dean asked pulling away from Sam.

"Yeah, annoying younger brother who gets underfoot trying to help,"

"And obsessively possessive and protective older brother who freaks out at the sight of a scrape,"

"Nice pair we make," Sam concluded. They sat still for a few moments lost in their own thoughts and memories of simpler times, if there had ever been any, when monsters stayed under the bed or in the closet and the worst pains in life were splinters and being told you couldn't play because you were too young.

Sam cleared his throat.

"So uh, you wanted to tell me something?" Sam asked.

Dean's stomach plummeted to the floor. He had almost forgotten.

"Yeah, uh actually, I did, you're going to want to get comfortable for this,"

Sam rolled his eyes. He knew this was going to be a long story.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for cutting off there but seriously, more explanations to follow later, I got to go right now, sorry! see you thursday!


	18. Courting Rituals

Author's Note: I couldn't figure out a nice enough way for Dean to tell Sam about the kiss so, I changed my mind and lo and behold this chapter is born. It starts off in a different room of the Batcave BUT it's more of a like "Dean and Sam share a brotherly moment, Meanwhile, the author fixes a continuity error and Aziraphale and Castiel do this,". If the previous chapter felt rushed it was because I was posting it late at night and hadn't had time to do twelve re-edits like I normally do so, sorry for that. I saw a picture of Mufasa and I thought 'That looks like Sam,' which is why the scene about the lion's mane. Also, the dream, came to me… in a dream.

Disclaimer: you think I have the brains to own these things? I don't even own my bedroom.

Warnings: Nothing much, I suppose subtle cuteness courtesy Aziraphale and Crowley.

* * *

Aziraphale and Castiel were sorting through books. Crowley had appeared a few moments ago and had decided to slither around the room.

"Where've you been you ugly old snake,"

'You don't mean that,'

"Well where have you been?"

'Cleaning dishes, spying on the brothers, they started talking about Sam's hair or something, it got boring so I left,'

"Did you finish the dishes?"

'Miracled them clean. Look Cas, Aziraphale has told me you're his older brother?'

"Not by much,"

'But by enough, anyways, I wouldn't normally be doing this but he insists,'

"It's the proper way my dear,"

"What's the proper way of what?"

"When a young man or in this case Crowley, wants to court a young lady—"

'Or in this case Aziraphale,'

"The young man will go to the oldest male in the family, usually the father sometimes a brother, and ask permission to court,"

"Yes, I understand courting, I was there when the humans invented it,"

'Then you know I want to be involved romantically with Aziraphale?' Crowley asked.

"Yes, I understand,"

Crowley changed into his human form and sidled up to Aziraphale taking his hand.

"With the intention of marrying?"

"That's what courting means right?" Cas asked.

"So, can I have permission?"

"Well, it's a rather outdated practice isn't it? Asking permission to court?"

"Yeah but you know Zirah. Everything has to be prim and proper," Crowley teased leaning his forehead against Aziraphale's.

"Quiet my dear," Aziraphale said trying to be upset but not succeeding.

"Right, well then as long as Aziraphale would like that, I don't see why you can't court my brother. Like I said before though, if you hurt him in anyway, I have the right as an older brother to harm you back in any way of my choosing and I think it is fair to warn you that I am quiet adept at using various types of weapons for torture,"

Crowley pulled away from Aziraphale slightly.

"Right,"

"But by all means, do not think I am disturbed by your affection for one another," Cas said smiling slightly before exiting the library.

Aziraphale smiled, "Cas is so sweet,"

"Cas is a scary-ass-mofo, he's bat-shit crazy" Crowley said channeling his inner prepubescent male.

Aziraphale swatted him but nevertheless kissed him on the cheek.

"Help me with the books,"

Crowley groaned but helped anyways. After a few silent moments Castiel returned this time where his trench coat and looking slightly disheveled.

"Aziraphale, if I were to have been your younger brother would Crowley still have had to have asked my permission,"

"Since Father is not around yes,"

"Thank you," he said before exiting again.

Crowley and Aziraphale shrugged before going back to work.

* * *

"So uh, you wanted to tell me something?" Sam asked.

Dean's stomach plummeted to the floor. He had almost forgotten.

"Yeah, uh actually, I did, you're going to want to get comfortable for this,"

Sam rolled his eyes. He knew this was going to be a long story. He looked into the kitchen and realized that Crowley was no longer washing the dishes and secretly listening in. Sam wondered how long he had been there and what he had heard. He hoped not much.

"Remember when I told you I was bi?"

"You didn't really tell me Dean, I caught you making out with a male hooker behind some random burger joint when you were eighteen,"

"You should give me some credit for that, it was going to be my third hook-up of the day,"

"Yeah, after a huge ass case we couldn't figure out, that we needed you for,"

"Third hook-up of the day AT EIGHTEEN. You have got to be a little proud of big brother,"

"Disgusted is more like it and prostitutes can't really count since they—"

"Sam, I must speak with you privately," came a familiar voice.

Sam and Dean looked up to see Castiel standing in the doorway of the kitchen. They turned back at each other and frowned.

"Speak to Sam?"

"Speak with me?"

"Yes, privately,"

Sam turned to look at Dean again. He shrugged.

"Alright, I'll go tinker with the Impala or something, I guess I'll talk to you later Sam?"

"Uh, sure,"

Dean got up and left, hesitating at the doorframe and giving his angel a nervous glance.

'Hehe, his angel.' Sam thought.

Castiel took a seat across from Sam and Sam was surprised to see the former angel wearing his trench coat. He knew it was sort of a security blanket for him and all but it was still weird seeing as he was wearing some casual clothes Crowley had miracled up for him.

"Sam, I have requested to speak with you because I have something to ask of you,"

"Okay," Sam said slowly, wondering what exactly Castiel meant.

"I- You see- Well, as you recall, Dean and- Uh, I have seen Dean's soul,"

"You never let us forget it Cas,"

"Yes well, you also know of our profound bond,"

"Yeah, I tease him about it all the time. It's kind of obvious he's your favorite,"

'That is quite the understatement,' Cas thought to himself.

"Yes," Cas continued, "Well, up until last night I have been or rather, I have been unwilling to act upon the feelings the bond brings me. Being an Angel of the Lord, one does not usually get much 'free time'. Except around Christmas where all we do is practice singing,"

"Really? You sang up in Heaven?"

"Until I took this vessel, many angels envied my voice. I do not understand why however, I merely sang."

Sam chuckled.

"So what's up Cas?"

Castiel took in a deep breath. Sam noticed he was fingering the edges of his coat nervously. Sam realized that Cas was probably nervous and that's why he had donned his trench coat.

"Iwishpermissiontocourtyourbrother," Castiel said quickly as if afraid if he didn't get it all out at once that he'd lose his nerve.

"What?"

"IwishpermissiontocourtDean," he said again, just as quickly.

"Okay Cas, it sounds like you're asking me to call Dean,"

"N-no, not call, court."

"Court?"

"Yes,"

"As in 'date'?"

"Yes, the other definitions of court do not apply here,"

Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Why are you even asking? Don't you think this is more of Dean's choice?"

"Aziraphale told me this was the proper way. He said that you go to the oldest male in the family that was not the person being courted and ask permission and then that makes it official,"

"Have you told Dean?"

"I think Dean is aware of my desires to court him,"

"Really?"

"Yes, I kissed him last night,"

Sam blinked furiously.

"Really?!" Sam asked somewhat excitedly.

"Yes,"

"UGH! Finally, geez, I'm tired of all your eye fucking,"

"What?"

"Just, you know, warn me before you two decide to get.. intimate or something, I may have control according to Dean's courting life, but I'm still his younger brother and I don't want to hear that," Sam said getting up.

"So may I court Dean?"

"Go for it, just you know, be careful. The bond goes both ways," Sam said standing up.

"Thank you Sam,"

"You think maybe Dean was going to tell me about this before you walked in?"

"Yes, that was his intent, although I guess I might've beat him to the chase,"

* * *

Author's Note: Well originally this was going to be two chapters but they aren't long enough to post as two separate ones so, I'm sorry for misleading you. Monday, I am bringing you a chapter in which Cas and Aziraphale sleep and Dean and Crowley watch over them in their own cute flufftacular then everything is going to be less and less in day-to-day lives and more random. Did you know you can have a quinceanera in Disneyland? Me neither, but you can (hint, hint, nudge, nudge).


	19. Sleepless in the Batcave

_**Author's Note**_: This is the first chapter in a long time that FINALLY has been edited and re-edited and re-read in order to try and provide you, the audience as few typos, continuity mistakes, idiotic misspellings or misuse of words and other problems associated with not editing. Sorry about all the stupid things that have slipped through on the last three or four chapters. ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy this somewhat angsty piece of fluff (I think it's angsty, I don't know though).

**_Disclaimer_**: Maybe I should just write a general one on my profile? What do you guys think?

_**Warnings**_: Kissing, Sam being an ass in a parenthetical side note, Parenthetical side notes, Liberal use of brackets and parentheses

ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

* * *

Dean hesitated outside of the kitchen, he didn't know whether or not he should eavesdrop. On the one hand it was rude and against most people's morals, on the other…

'Fuck morality,' Dean thought to himself and leaned against the wall just to the right of the doorframe.

"Eavesdropping are we Dean?" Crowley asked.

Dean fought the urge to jump and hoped the demon hadn't noticed his moment of terror at the sudden interruption.

"Uh,"

"You told me this morning you wanted to talk to me?" Crowley asked immediately getting Dean's full attention.

"Oh yeah, we need to get Cas and Az some anti-possession tattoos soon. Also, e have to get you two into training. Sam and I want to get back to hunting and figuring out what to do about the Metatron and the Angels. Cas can probably handle himself but, I don't know about you and Aziraphale,"

"You said Cass and Ass," Crowley laughed.

"Right, nice to know you care. This is serious Crowley, honeymoon's over."

"Haven't even consummated this marriage," Crowley muttered.

"I'll ignore that," Dean said before leaning against the wall. Dean was once again uninterested, "Now if you don't mind-"

"Cas tell you about the nightmare's he and Aziraphale have been having?"

Dean's ears perked at this.

"I found out last night," he said turning to the demon, giving him his full attention once more.

"Me too, what should we do?"

"What can we do? Nightmares happen after traumatic events, God knows I've had my fair share of them,"

"We could watch them?"

"While they're asleep?"

"No wait for them to have nightmares while they're awake. Of course when they're asleep you idiot,"

"Hey, watch it," Dean snarled.

"Anyways, we watch them sleep, and wake them up if we see any signs of troubled sleep,"

Dean thought about it for a second.

"Not a bad idea actually. Maybe it'll condition them into waking themselves up. Besides it'll be a sort of payback for all the times he's done it for me,"

Crowley was going to make some joke about Dean not being smart enough to know what conditioning someone meant before processing the last very revealing almost unheard comment Dean had made there at the end.

"He watched you while you slept?"

"Yeah," Dean blushed, "He said he was watching over me,"

"GAY!" Crowley screamed.

"Shh!" Dean hushed pulling Crowley away from the kitchen door, "I was still eavesdropping remember?"

"No I'd nearly forgotten," Crowley said as they walked into a different room, one that functioned as a living room.

"It's not gay," Dean muttered.

"Says the guy who called my angel gayer than a tree on nitrous oxide,"

"I never said that!" Dean cried indignantly "I said he was gayer than a tree full of MONKEYS on nitrous oxide," Dean said smiling evilly "Cas just can't get his insults straight. Where does a tree get its roots on nitrous oxide anyways?"

"Oh," Crowley exclaimed (don't let that comma fool you, he did indeed exclaim) "You see, that makes a lot more sense than a tree on nitrous oxide."

* * *

Cas was tired that night, Maybe it had been staying awake half of the night before, maybe it had been asking Sam permission to court Dean maybe it had been Dean's worry rubbing off on him when Sam took the Impala promising not to crash or anything and disappearing for the rest of the day (He returned half-way through an awkwardly tense dinner that tried not to make a big deal about the elephant (or in this case giant little brother) in the room and Sam's absence. He came bearing new noise reducing earphones for Aziraphale, Crowley and himself in case 'Dean and Cas feel the urge to consummate their relationship anytime soon,' he smirked and winked across at his brother. 'Bitch,' Dean had said but also smiled because it was like Sam was saying everything's alright and we can still be brothers and don't worry I don't even give a shit who you do just keep it in the bedroom, all at once. 'Jerk,' Sammy had replied in an obnoxiously good mood and sending him the smuggest little bitch face because he wasn't done just yet. He then tossed a bag across the table at Dean and when Dean had rummaged through it he had gotten radioactively red in the face. 'I know how to have sex dammit, I don't need little green sticky notes explaining what to do with everything!'. Crowley and Sam laughed evilly and Cas and Aziraphale sat back smiling but shooting each other questioning glances not knowing what the heck was going on.). Anyways, sorry for that long parenthetical side note, it just happened. Anyways, the point was Castiel was tired and for the first time since the whole ordeal had begun, it felt nice to sink into his bed and allow himself to drift off into the darkness that offered its embrace. Even if it was only 8:30 at night and everyone else was still awake hanging out in the living room watching Dr. Sexy reruns and having rousing debates on the merits of such soap operas.

The dream began oddly enough nicely, usually Cas's dreams were nightmares, this one though, this one was nice. It was just a bunch of floating colors that swirled all around his eyes, sweet blues and soft greens and calm purples all floating around lazily. The colors slowly gave way to images now. Images of bright green laughing eyes, followed by the smiling face that always accompanied those bright green eyes.

The colors though abruptly changed: icy blue replaced warm green, the face grew older and more upset.

'What is it Castiel?' the face asked. Castiel stared in terror at the face.

'What's wrong Castiel? God' got your grace?' the Metatron asked, a cruel smile on his face. Castiel looked down at himself; he was in that clinically white rooms, tethered to an examination chair, a harsh light shining bright above him making the room seem even more cruel. Castiel struggled against the bindings.

Each night it was different, each night the Metatron said worse things, things that he felt deep down inside but never wanted to admit aloud.

'Are you trying to escape Castiel? You should know by now, there is no escape. We've been through this time and again. You've failed Castiel, just like you always do,'

Castiel watched terrified as the Metatron picked up a gleaming utensil from a row of others shining on a sliver tray beside him. However, the fear wasn't so much from the prospect of bodily harm, but the fact that Naomi had been right, and Sam was probably dying as he lay there, tied up useless to the Winchesters. He hated this part of the dream. The realization of his failure always hit him hard, cold, undeniably real. Every time it was as if it were the first time he heard the words, over and over until he finally awoke.

'You couldn't erase all of Dean's memories from Hell,' the Metatron said leaning in placing a firm hand against Castiel's forehead tilting it forcefully back.

Castiel struggled, tried to kick out, but found his legs tied to the legs of the chair. Suddenly everything around him felt very small, it felt like everything was closing in on him (Had the walls always been so close? Had the bindings always been so tight?), until all that was left was Marv in front of him, and the scalpel he held.

'You couldn't handle the Leviathans,' The Metatron said bringing the sharp knife against Castiel's neck. Immediately Cas stopped his thrashing. He could feel the kiss of cool metal against his neck and knew if he moved even in the slightest he'd get cut. He was only too experienced in this part of the dream.

'You couldn't keep Naomi away from the angel tablet while it was under your care,' Metatron said digging the scalpel into the soft skin of Castiel's neck. Castiel tried to scream to wake himself up (It had worked once before hadn't it?) but no sound would come out, only an awful wet choking gurgle that made Castiel's eyes water. He couldn't breathe, he gasped for air but it would not reach his lungs, only adding pain to his already hurt throat.

'And now, you're going to be an integral part to casting your brothers and sisters out of heaven,' Marv finished bringing a small tube to Castiel's neck.

The Metatron smiled cruelly once more.

'What's this?' he asked. Cas continued struggling for breath, everything was turning black around the edges and the small details of everything were fading. He knew he was dying. He tried sucking in air but ended up coughing it out instead.

'Oh Cas, you'll get a hoot out of this,'

Castiel coughed again noticing the only details that seemed to get clearer in the room were those awful ice-cold blue eyes, the shiny metal of the scalpel now stained red, and the empty gleaning vial in the Metatron's hand.

'You have no Grace,' the Metatron chuckled tossing the vial to the floor. It broke and Castiel stared at it in despair. Nothing tampered with the image, it was crystal. Nothing floated out, it really was empty.

I do have Grace. Castiel tried to convince himself but felt the tears welling. How long had he been Graceless?

No, he had been an angel, up until the last day. An Angel of the Lord once an Angel of the Lord forever. It would not matter if you had no Grace, you'd always have your duty, protect humanity. No matter how perverse the people who assigned the job became, it would not change. Protect Humanity.

Castiel tried to say it, hoping it would call his Grace back to him and he opened his mouth to say it but nothing would come out. Everything just got darker, the Metatron's blue eyes became sharper, clearer. Soon, they'd be like the eyes of the Cheshire cat, the only thing he'd see of the Metatron.

'Cas!'

I have Grace. He tried again opening his mouth repeatedly.

'CAS!'

Cas sat up in bed quickly gasping for air, shoulders heaving with quiet sobs.

"Cas are you alright?"

"Dean," Castiel asks hoarsely. He freezes.

'It was just a dream,' he tells himself, but his hand still trails up to his throat in a small panic. He clears it.

"What are you doing in here?" Cas asks.

"Oh, uh, well you see, Crowley and I were trying to figure out a way for your nightmares to go away, we figured we could condition them out of you if we were to wake you up when you were having them. So here I am," Dean says throwing his hands up slightly in a sort of 'what-are-you-going-to-do?' way.

"I see, why are there weapons all over my nightstand?"

"I thought cleaning weapons would keep me awake," Dean explained, "Alright, now that this is all settled, you should get back to sleep,"

"Why?" Castiel asked groggily, sinking back onto his pillows.

"Because if you stay awake any longer, you'll be too awake to go back to sleep easily and it'll take forever. Trust me, it happens all the time."

Dean begins to disassemble a pistol. Cas watches Dean's fingers nimbly pull part after part off.

"Am I making too much noise?" Dean asks and stops. Cas startles out of his trance.

"Uh no," Castiel replies and closes his eyes. It's too quiet though. He knows Dean is probably watching him. Somewhere his mind figures that this is probably why Dean didn't like it when Castiel watched him sleep, it was a little off-putting and made him feel self-conscious. The soft staccato of the gun being reassembled began once more and lured him to a soft sleep. Just as he was on the verge of surrendering his conscious to the sweet enveloping darkness the soft lullaby of clicks stops. Castiel frowns internally, too far gone to the land of Nod for it to manifest across his lips. He feels soft puffs of breath tickle his lips. He vaguely wonders how close Dean has gotten.

Dean in fact has gotten extremely close, only a few centimeters away from Cas's lips. Nothing stops him from claiming those lips.

He doesn't want to wake up Cas though, so he settles for a quick kiss to the forehead, smoothing his hair back and away from it. Dean pulled away from the bed to sit back down but Cas's hand shot out towards his wrist.

"Stay," Cas whimpered half-asleep. Dean smiled fondly and intertwined their pinkies together, he gently squeezed, promising with the small gesture he would not leave. Slowly Dean pulled away and Cas sighs contently.

The lullaby of clicks continues and Cas finds himself drifting back into a sleep filled with more of those calming gentle colors that does not give way to nightmares for the rest of the night.

* * *

Do you know, that sensation of falling that occasionally takes you while you drift to sleep? The one that makes you feel you are falling out of bed and seems to last forever? The one that scares you into waking up, heart beating faster? Maybe your breath is coming out a little quicker, maybe adrenaline is beginning to rush through your veins and maybe it'll take you a little bit longer to calm down and finally close your eyes, still vaguely afraid of feeling it again. That may be the worst part, only feeling youself fall, never seeing it actually happen.

Of course for most of us, it only happens once a night and only every once in a while. Hardly ever does it happen every night and every time we close our eyes.

This was not true for Aziraphale. Every time he closed his eyes and began drifting into the darkness of sleep he felt himself falling and would startle awake. He'd calm himself down enough to trust himself to not repeat the experience and yet, it would happen again, over and over again until finally he would find himself passing out from exhaustion. Finally able to have a short fitful sleep filled with watching the ground come closer and closer. This time, he'd know he was falling, he wouldn't feel it, but he'd know and sometimes that was even worse..

This is what Aziraphale encountered every night since he fell out of his chair, it was no wonder he could not sleep and those few times he had were void of any dreams.

Tonight, he decided he'd rather not repeat the experience, so once the reruns of Dr. Sexy were over and had been replaced by infomercials and everyone had headed for their bedrooms, Aziraphale had curled up in his reading chair with a book.

He heard knocking on his bedroom door.

"Come in," he replied politely. He shut his book once he realized it was Crowley, "Hello my dear, what's the matter?"

"Your atrocious sleeping habits," Crowley replied.

"What?"

"I'm worried one day you'll be crossing the street and you'll just slump over from exhaustion and get hit by a car and die,"

"A bit cynical don't you think?"

"Not for a demon, it could've been a lot worse. I'm here to put you to bed. Where are your pajamas?"

"Where are yours? What are you doing in here?"

Crowley snapped his fingers and lo and behold there were his satin pajamas.

"Well that's hardly fair," Aziraphale said rolling his eyes and opening a drawer to get his own out.

"Perks of being a demon, angel," Crowley said with a shrug before flinging himself onto Aziraphale's bed and bouncing a little.

"Of course," Aziraphale said removing his sweater-vest to put on his pajamas. Crowley watched languidly, "Don't look," Aziraphale said catching the demon watching him unbutton his shirt.

Crowley smirked covering his golden eyes with his hands.

"Aw, is Aziraphale self-conscious?" he teased.

"No, of course not, the body issued to me is perfect in every way because God made it," Aziraphale said presumptuously, "However, I can't help but feel like you are commiting some awful wile every time I change in front of you and old habits die hard so close your eyes my dear,"

Crowley snickered and peeked through his fingers at Aziraphale. Truth be told, Aziraphale just didn't want for Crowley to find out how clumsy he still was after all these years with simple things like putting on pants and not getting stuck when removing your shirt. Of course he usually bought clothes like regular humans (all those moral standards angels had to maintain.) but he hardly ever actually bothered to spend time actually putting them on when a simple snap would do.

"Alright you can open them," Aziraphale said and Crowley pulled his hands away from his eyes. Aziraphale looked so comfortable in his cotton tartan pajamas. Crowley frowned. He was 100 percent sure he had told Sam to get rid of that pair.

"Sam gave them back after he washed them," Aziraphale said noticing Crowley's frown. "I like these," he said sternly pushing his glasses up on this nose.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Fine, what have you been dreaming about,"

"Nothing out of the usual, I did a little research on it," which meant Castiel had helped since he seemed more proficient using a laptop than Aziraphale was. "Many humans seem to have the same type of dream,"

"Okay, so it's a normal nightmare, what's it about. Do you show up to school in your underwear or something?"

"No, why would I do that, it seems silly,"

"It is but some people are terrified of it happening. So, what do you dream about?"

"I'd rather not say," Aziraphale said and he hoped he was tired enough to fall asleep without being haunted by that awful dream, "Get off so I can sleep now,"

"Oh right, I forgot to tell you, I'm sleeping with you tonight,"

Aziraphale rolled his eyes.

Stupid horny demons.

"Crowley, we are not consummating our relationship tonight,"

"No, not that kind of sleeping with, I mean snoring-together-sleeping with you. That way if you have nightmares I can wake you up and rescue you like a regular old Damsel in distress,"

"Oh," Aziraphale said. Crowley wriggled around on the bed slipping beneath the covers. He patted the empty side encouragingly.

Aziraphale hesitated. How in the world was he supposed to explain to Crowley that if they slept together neither of them would be getting any sleep. Finally he took a deep breath and slid in beside him.

"There, was that so hard?" Crowley asked wrapping an arm around Aziraphale's shoulders running a finger gently through his hair.

"No," Aziraphale said feeling his eyes droop a little. Crowley turned off the light beside him and began humming a quiet song.

Aziraphale battled every urge he had to fall asleep. After a few more notes (enough for Aziraphale to realize the song was by the Beatles [charming young men, if a bit eccentric] and definitely NOT 'Hey Jude'[I am not so cruel])

Crowley sighed and pulled away slightly to look into the former angel's blue eyes.

"This is only going to work if you fall asleep," he chastised.

"I was falling asleep just now my dear, but you've just awoken me and now it'll take twice as long," Aziraphale lied.

"Then why are you still wearing your glasses?" Crowley asked.

"Oh yes, those," Aziraphale said pulling them off and putting them on the nightstand on his side.

"Aziraphale, what did you dream –"

"Well goodnight my dear," Aziraphale said quickly shutting his eyes and turning to face away from Crowley. Aziraphale didn't know why he was so eager to avoid the subject. He supposed it was because even if Crowley said he had sauntered vaguely downward, Aziraphale knew that Crowley had fallen just like the rest of the angels who were now considered the enemy.

Aziraphale sighed softly. Aziraphale may have fallen but it was nowhere near as far as to where Crowley had. He didn't want to bother the demon with these trivial dreams about falling when he was sure Crowley had suffered much worse.

Almost without realizing, he began drifting to sleep. Suddenly though a familiar feeling ran through his body, tugging him down, further and further, pulling at him. Aziraphale tried pulling away and upwards not wanting to go back down. His eyes flew open just as he felt himself going over the invisible edge. He reached out at everything around him grasping, trying to catch himself from falling.

"Aziraphale?" Crowley asked gently. Aziraphale forced himself to focus on the golden eyes lying next to him on the bed. He realized they were further away than they were when he had fallen asleep. He found it was because he was sitting up.

Aziraphale was breathing heavily still unused to the sudden shift between the quiet oblivion that was sleep and the sudden fearful existence that was waking up. His heart (still slightly annoyed at his need for one) beat a heavy and quick rat-a-tat-tat inside his chest.

"Yes?" he asked breathlessly, still recovering.

"Are you alright?"

"No," Aziraphale whispered.

"What is it?" Crowley asked, eyes begging his angel to let him help.

"I… I dream about falling," Aziraphale responded.

"Do you mean you dream about falling from heaven?" Crowley asked leaning up on his elbow.

"No, I just- it's empty, everywhere, it's all empty, there's nothing there, just darkness and an invisible edge and I'm laying down and suddenly I fall off the edge and it pulls at me, and tugs and I struggle up, I try to flap my wings, I do everything, but I still fall and then I wake up. It happens every time I close my eyes and try to sleep until I can't wake myself up or give up trying to sleep. I know it's probably stupid of me to be afraid of these dreams but I- I hate it. I'm so scared of it, I hate it so much," Aziraphale finished teary eyed.

Crowley smiled and let out a gentle laugh before sitting up as well, "Oh angel, come here," Crowley said opening his arms for Aziraphale to fall into. Aziraphale clutched at the front of Crowley's shirt letting a few tears escape.

"Hey, hey, hey, listen angel," he said rubbing Aziraphale's back in smooth downward strokes "It's not stupid to be afraid of falling alright? Falling is damn scary, there's nothing to reach out for to catch yourself okay. Less so with your manicured hands,"

Aziraphale let out a shaky laugh.

"But listen to me, it doesn't matter if you can't catch yourself because I'm here now, and I'll catch you alright?"

"Crowley," Aziraphale began.

"No, no, no, listen to me, Zirah. Close your eyes, sleep, I'll be right here to make sure you don't fall, I'll catch you if you do, just hold on tight," Crowley whispered before brushing his lips against Aziraphale's forehead brushing away the curls that had fallen across it.

Aziraphale sighed shakily.

"Alright," he finally answered.

Crowley smiled and they laid back down facing one another. Crowley pulled Aziraphale closer and tucked the golden-haired head under his chin. He started humming sweetly again and Aziraphale found himself falling asleep again.

Crowley noticed the small flinch Aziraphale made as he fell asleep. Crowley figured it must've been the dream again. He wrapped his arms tighter against the angel and found Aziraphale relaxing against him. Crowley ran his hand through Aziraphale's hair and kept humming, helping ground his angel to the real world, where you only fall if you trip.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_: I am so proud this is almost 4,000 (3,944) words without the author's notes! PRAISE THE LORD! I hope you enjoy it and stuff, I like it when I make stuff long, it makes me feel like it's worthy of being posted. If it's too long though and you'd rather I stick to 1,000 more or less words hardly ever exceeding 2,500 please let me know and I'll keep them that way from now on. So uh, go and leave a nice long review or something (anything really) and I'll see you Thursday with I'm not sure whether i should do another Sam chapter or actually, probably a cute Cas centered fic with a little bit of Destiel and maybe a nice lady friend for Sam or something.


	20. Hair As Black As Ebony

**_Author's Note:_** I'm sorry this is just barely getting to you on time( by about half an hour). I hope you like it, it's a longer than usual. Also, sorry for not posting it Thursday, the stupid ending was being stupid and not functioning properly and being stupid and clichéd and ugly and I didn't like it so I kept revising it. This is as close to a perfect ending as I could come up with. Tomorrow (early tomorrow) I will post the chapter that should have been posted today, it's just that I was really busy with this chapter and the next chapter isn't quite edited to my likings. So, sorry for the long note, enjoy the chapter.

_**Disclaimer**_: I don't own Snow White or Supernatural or Good Omens.

**_Warnings_**: Uh, Evil Girl Scouts? I in no way believe girl scouts are evil, this is just one case, and it's not even the Girl Scouts fault. Also, Character Death. I don't know if I'd call it a major character death since I've never understood if that meant a Major character dies or a character Majorly dies (Like in some horrific, way that the whole chapter focuses on) so I won't say anything just yet.

On with the story!

* * *

It was late morning in the bunker and Dean was still not awake.

"We'll never get there before they close if Dean doesn't wake up soon," Crowley groaned.

"We could always reschedule," Cas offered.

"Nah, Dean and I are getting antsy with you two basically naked when it comes to possessions," Crowley answered.

"I'll go check on him," Sam said drying his hands on the dishtowel. Crowley continued to pace while Aziraphale drank his tea and Cas drank his coffee.

"Hey Dean," Sam whispered as he entered his brother's room. It felt stuffy and warm.

Dean moaned. Oh yes, Dean was definitely going to get pounced upon if he was doing what Sam thought he was doing.

"You better not be having a dream about Cas," Sam scoffed.

"Sammy, I think I'm dying," Dean said muffled by the blankets.

Sam's turned his full attention to what should be his brother wrapped in all of his bed sheets.

"I'm so sore," Dean complained.

"What did you two do last night?" Sam teased.

"It's not funny Sam, I think I'm sick," Dean moaned.

"Forehead," Sam ordered. Dean whimpered as he uncovered his head. Sam sucked in air through his teeth. Dean looked awful, a light sheen of sweat covered his forehead, his eyes looked sunken and had dark purple bags underneath, he looked pale as a sheet. Sam brought the back of his hand to his older brother's forehead and frowned at the excessive warmth. He didn't need a thermometer to know Dean was running s fever.

"Alright, field trip is rescheduled. You're sick," Sam declared.

"No, we have to go, Cas and Azir-"

"I don't care, you'll get us all sick in the car,"

"But,"

"No buts. I'll go tell the gang,"

Sam returned to the kitchen with an upset sort of bitch face.

"What happened?"

"He has a fever," Sam replied. Crowley groaned again.

"Can he get out of bed?" Crowley asked. He was beginning to formulate a plan that involved creating a bubble around Dean. But would he fit in the Impala?

"He says he's sore all over," Sam said shaking his head.

"That might just be from Cass,"

"What?" Castiel asked confused.

"No, he's definitely sick, sorry trip is postponed," Sam sighed.

Crowley nodded his approval and Aziraphale began to look around the cupboards for certain herbs he knew would reduce Dean's fever.

"No, I have a better idea," Cas said "Crowley can take Aziraphale to get his tattoo, Sam go with them, pick up medicine for Dean and get supplies, I'll stay here and take care of Dean. That way you only have to worry about me in case of demon activity,"

"You sure you can handle him though, being newly human and all?"

Cas smiled "I've pieced him together, I've seen him in purgatory, I've been with him in his most god-awful moods. A little bacterium will not be so difficult to handle as a hungry Dean who cannot find a decent bakery,"

Sam chuckled and shrugged.

"Alright, if you think you can handle him we'll go," Sam turned to Aziraphale and Crowley, "We roll out at ten alright?"

Crowley and Aziraphale nodded before heading to their respective bedrooms (usually they both slept over in one or the other but kept their stuff separate) to grab their phones and keys and a few other things.

In the car Aziraphale began to lecture Crowley. Sam sat in the backseat promising Cas to send him hourly checking in messages.

"Crowley, you need to stop miracling so many things for us," Aziraphale said once they were rolling away from the bunker.

"What are you talking about?" Crowley said as he miracled a dustless path before the Bentley.

"You need to stop making stuff appear out of nowhere, I have never seen a can of chicken broth or Campbell's soup in the cabinets in the bunker until today when Cas opened the cabinet,"

"Sorry, I thought I was being helpful. Remember Anathema's bike,"

Aziraphale blushed. "That was different, I was righting a wrong,"

"Well yeah maybe but still it's sssort of the same type of thing," Crowley shrugged.

"Yes well, just be less easy on us, we need to actually survive,"

"Oh come on-"

"No actually, Aziraphale has a point, if all this stuff just keeps being there when we need it, we'll start to get lazy and laziness sparks mistakes. In hunting, we can't make mistakes,"

Aziraphale smiled smugly and Crowley rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"Fine, I'll deliberately hide things so you have to go on scavenger hunts for them, will that be alright?"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale nagged. Crowley shrank down in his seat and Sam laughed.

"That's right, laugh it up, wait 'till you can't find any of your clothes or towels after a shower,"

Sam stopped mid-laugh and glared at Crowley who smirked at him through the backseat mirror.

* * *

"How are you feeling Dean?" Cas asked balancing a plate of soup and a beer bottle on a small tray he had found.

Dean moaned and brought the covers over his head again.

"Dean," Cas groaned, "You have to eat,"

"I'm not hungry."

"Just a few bites, and look, I brought you a beer,"

"Am I even supposed to be drinking beer when I'm sick?"

"I have no idea," Cas said and pulled the covers away from Dean's face. He winced slightly still unused to the way Dean looked.

"Are you feeling any better?" Cas asked putting two fingers against Dean's forehead forgetting for a moment that he no long had his powers. He pulled them away but Dean caught his wrist.

"No wait, you're fingers are cool," Dean muttered flattening Cas's palm against his burning forehead.

"You still have to eat a little,"

"Keep your hand there and I'll eat all the whole plate,"

"It's not that bad. By the way that's terrible grammar,"

"Did Aziraphale make it?"

"No, it's from a can,"

"Oh," Dean said disappointed as he took a small sip, "Actually, not that bad,"

Castiel waited until Dean finished his soup to place his hand against his forehead.

"Lots better than a wet towel," Dean murmured as he fell asleep. Castiel smiled softly and leaned down to plant a cool kiss to Dean's forehead before replacing his hand. He sat there for hours humming lowly and watching Dean sleep, conjuring memories from his times of watching Dean sleep when he still had his Grace. Eventually, Dean rolled over onto his side and Castiel decided it was safe enough to leave and get some chores done around the house, so he finished the song (it might've sounded like a hymn once upon a time but Cas had altered it a few times and he couldn't remember what the original way to sing it was) and headed for his room to change out of his 'I'm-going-out-to-get-a-tattoo clothes.

"I know there's some special herbs to get rid of a fever, I just wish I remembered which ones," Castiel mused aloud as he went in search of a broom.

Dressed in an apron, sweatpants and an old shirt, Cas began sweeping the kitchen.

* * *

After about an hour or so (and a cleaned floor and bathroom and finished load of laundry) Dean began waking up again. Or rather, he was woken up by heavy breathing over him. He opened his eyes expecting a former angel checking to make sure Dean was still breathing. Instead he was faced with a large pair of nostrils.

"What the hell?"

The creature before him snorted and Dean shot up in bed.

"What the hell!?" Dean repeated.

It was a moose.

"I'm hallucinating," Dean uttered running his hands over his face. He peered intensely at the moose who sort of tossed it's head and wait a second, was that an eye roll?

Yup he was definitely hallucinating.

"Sammy?" Dean asked.

The moose let out a breathy exhale and lowered its head so that the antlers were right next to Dean's face. Dean realized the moose had a small cup of what appeared to be tea hanging from them.

"Oh, thanks bro,"

The moose turned around snorting and gave Dean what strongly resembled a very annoyed bitch face.

"Sorry about the trip Sammy!" Dean shouted after him. Dean took a sip of tea and scrunched his face. Cas arrived a few minutes later.

"You say something Dean?"

"Sam must be madder about the trip than I thought, he brought me cold tea," Dean replied motioning to his tea.

"What?"

"Yeah, I freaking hallucinated him as a moose and he brought me tea, but it's cold, will you reheat it babe?"

"You are delusional, Sam's not here and you just called me babe. Where did you get the tea?"

"You do look a little blue around the udder," Dean said completely ignoring Cas's question.

"Udder?"

"Yeah Paul Bunyan's blue cow, hey has anyone ever told you how dark your hair is. It looks so dark in this kind of lighting. Actually, I never noticed it before but you're hair isn't actually all that dark. I'd always thought it was black, but it's just really dark brown. It's nice. Someone should fix the lighting. Maybe it was on God's to do list but he kept forgetting to replace the bulb or something, or maybe it's for special effects, to make everything pop out! Like your hair, and your eyes and your udder."

Cas rolled his eyes but took the cup with him. He returned with a steaming cup and an orange.

"People are constantly saying Vitamin C is important when you're sick so here you go. Would you like me to peel it for you,"

"That'll do pig, that'll do," Dean said taking the orange and pulling away the skin.

"Pig?" Cas asked slightly offended.

"Babe was also a cute pig," Dean winked.

Cas smiled and laughed slightly.

"Are you saying you enjoy bestiality Dean?"

Dean started to splutter for words.

"Go to sleep Dean. Sam, Crowley, and Aziraphale will be back in a few hours." Cas said after a few minutes of laughter.

"Sam's here, I don't know what you're talking about," Dean mumbled half-asleep, the orange rolling out of his hand and onto his bed.

Cas grabbed it and placed it on the night table. He then picked up the freshly cleaned and folded laundry and began heading into bedrooms to drop it off. He opened Aziraphale's room first and saw the feathers from the former angel's wings.

"I wish he'd clean these up," Castiel frowned "Or at least put them in a little pile.

He left Aziraphale's sweater vests and assorted pairs of slacks on his bed and left the room, planning on returning with a bag for the feathers.

Next he walked into Sam's room. It wasn't messy but there were piles of research books all over the place in small and large stacks. Cas groaned once he saw the bed.

"Seriously Sam? You don't make your own bed in the morning? Probably spends too much time on his hair,"

Castiel hadn't washed any of Crowley's stuff so he assumed everything dirty would be in his room's hamper. He opened the door expecting the worst. However, what he did find was an impeccably clean, and organized room.

Castiel smiled and looked inside the laundry hamper. It was empty.

"I wonder if there are any dishes to do," Cas said.

He decided against it though since it still wasn't lunch time. Instead he'd shower and then make Dean lunch and then wash the dishes.

* * *

Dean was growing restless in his bed. His fever had gone down and with it the woozy sleepiness that made him feel like knocking out every few seconds. He stood up out of bed and felt only a little bit dizzy. He walked out of his room and down the hall. He had almost made it all the way down when something caught his eye, Sam's door was opened.

He peeked in to say hi to his brother and instead was met with the halucimoose trying to use its antlers to make the bed. Dean rolled his eyes. Even in hallucinations Sam was an incompetent bed maker.

"Here Sam let me, get your giant ass self out of the way,"

The moose snorted grumpily and sent a bitch-face Dean's way. Dean finished making the bed and turned to Sam.

"Where's Cas?" he asked.

All the moose did was walk out of the room, and then when Dean followed it out, he found it was heading for the wide open bunker door.

"At least close the door Sammy," Dean muttered closing the door. Dean began walking back to his own room deciding that maybe he shouldn't be up and about when he was hallucinating Sam as a moose. He noticed on his way back that Aziraphale's door was open too. He peeked inside; maybe Aziraphale knew where Cas was.

"Hey Aziraphale," Dean greeted walking inside.

He was however met with a rather large and somewhat plump blue jay flying around the room collecting feathers into a pile. It stopped and perched itself on the dresser and glanced at Dean curiously.

"Uh, Aziraphale?"

The bird tweeted sweetly.

"Okay this probably makes sense too since you know, you have wings and all that. It makes sense that I'm hallucinating you as a bird. Okay, anyways have you seen Cas?"

The bird sang sadly.

"Okay, I have no idea, but I think that means 'no sorry'. Alright, well, I'm going to go take a nap and hope all this clears up," Dean said rubbing his eyes "Alright, later Zirah,"

The bird continued its chores.

Dean decided to try one last time. He opened the door to Crowley's bedroom and was relieved to see a snake sleeping on the bed.

"Oh Crowley, thank God, I'm having some crazy hallucinations, and I need to find Cas, do you know where he is?"

The snake on the bed hissed.

"Oh I forgot, you can't really talk to us in your snake form, uh, do you want to change or something?"

The snake seemed to roll it's eyes as it dropped to the floor. It slithered out of the room and towards the bathroom where Dean could hear the water hitting the bathroom tiles and beautiful humming.

Say what you will about gospel music and Christmas carols and hymns, when Cas sang them, you'd have never known that's what they were. He had a way of making the music float and sway and fall and fly in ways it wasn't meant to and still make it work and make it sound a hundred times better than the original (at the moment Dean could swear Cas was singing one of Metallica's songs and making it sound like a friggin' prayer song,). And even though Castiel'd say it was nowhere near as good as it had been in heaven when he was free of the hindrance of a vessel, it was still beautiful. Dean stood by the door for a few moments eyes closing on their own as he let the notes wash over him.

Maybe he was delusional though. He was, after all, 98% sure that you couldn't see music coming.

"Cas you in there?" he finally asked

"Yes Dean, I will be out momentarily,"

"It's cool, I just wanted to let you know I'm hallucinating Sam as a moose and Aziraphale as a blue jay. Come see me when you're done,"

"What did you say?" Cas asked and Dean could hear the water being turned off.

"I said I'm hallucinating,"

Castiel opened the door, a towel wrapped around his waist and shoulders. Dean felt the sudden urge to kiss his angel dry but he decided against it since you know, sickness is contagious.

"Let's get you to bed,"

"Why hello Anthony, you're back extremely early, I did not expect you back until at least ten o'clock tonight," Cas said greeting the snake.

_'My name isn't Anthony,'_

"Right, sorry," Cas apologized.

Dean frowned.

"You can hear him?"

"Yes, can't you?"

"No,"

"Oh, why can I hear you then?" he asked the snake,

_'No clue,'_

"Alright. Come on Dean, let's get you to bed, I'll make you a sandwich or something for lunch,"

"Will you reheat my tea, I saw Sam leave me a new cup while I was talking to you through the door,"

"Alright Dean,"

So Castiel led Dean back to his room, reheated the tea (Maybe Sam really had been here and left Dean the tea the first time but if so, why did Sam keep leaving his brother cold tea? Did he forget how to use the microwave?) and then left it for Dean on his bedside table seeing as Dean had gone to sleep in the time it took for Castiel to change into clothes and reheat a cup of tea.

He headed back into his room and saw that Crowley was lying on his bed.

"Where is my brother I would like to see his new tattoo," Castiel said sitting down and stroking the snake.

_'He's with Sam,'_

"Oh, where is Sam?"

_'Uh, with Crowley. Don't you remember they left this morning?'_

"You're Crowley,"

'_No_,' the snake said _'I'm James, a regular old run of the mill gopher snake,'_

"Oh," Castiel said.

_'You seem surprised._

"I am how am I speaking to you?"

_'I do not understand human anatomy very well but I gather that you-'_

"No,no,no, I meant how can we understand each other,"

'_Many animals understand the language humans speak however not many humans can understand what we say,'_

"So why can I?"

_'You must be special. I can tell from your singing you must be. Do you hear any other things that no one else can?'_

"Not any that come to mind, I was once an Angel of the Lord. Do you think that might be it?"

_'Probably,'_

A bird flew into the room followed by a pair of chipmunks and a squirrel.

_'Hey you guys,'_ James greeted, _'Meet Castiel, former Angel of the Lord and understander of animalese,'_

_'It's a pleasure to meet you Castiel,'_ said a chipmunk climbing up onto the bed where Cas was sitting, _'My name is Dave, this is my mate Amanda, that's our friend Arthur with his bushy tail and the birdbrain over there is Tammi,_'

_'Oh my gawd, you're such a dork Davy!'_ the bird tweeted beautifully. Arthur rolled his eyes and Amanda giggled.

_'We've finished the dishes, Tammi finished the feathers and Martin left the tea, what else is there?'_ Amanda told James.

_'Oh I think that's it, unless you have any other chores Castiel,'_

"You guys finished the chores for me?"

_'Didn't you notice me following you around? I thought you had been talking to me so I went out and gathered some of the creatures that were around and asked them to help. They all seem to love you and it wasn't too hard to convince them.'_

"The animals love me?"

_'They like how you'll leave them pieces of fruit or other goodies when you gather herbs and things for Aziraphale. Also, they rather enjoy your singing, the nightingales envy your god-given voice.'_

"Oh!" Castiel exclaimed pleasantly surprised, "Well thank you," he said and blushed slightly. He still wasn't used to people praising his singing. He just opened his mouth and made noise.

'_Are there any more chores that you need done?_' Tammi asked

"I think that's all actually, unless any of you know your way around a sewing machine," Castiel joked (attempted to joke).

_'I'm afraid none of us do, but I know a young spider, Arachnia, she is the craftiest little thing. Makes Charlotte's webs look like a pig made them,_' James joked.

"Who's Charlotte?"

_'Right,_' James said soberly before slithering off the bed, '_Just leave whatever it was you needed sewn on the couch and I'll have her come in, until the next time sweet Cas,'_

"Oh are you all leaving now?"

_'Amanda and I need to get back to our little ones, there's only so long I trust them with my mother-in-law, but James will come back with Arachnia,'_

_'I'll always be just outside Cas,_' Tammi promised and fluttered away. Cas realized it must be her nest nestled above the doorway to the bunker.

Amanda, Dave, Tammi Arthur and James left and Cas felt suddenly very alone.

* * *

He went to go make lunch for Dean. There was still about half of an apple pie leftover from two nights ago and Cas, being Cas, decided that pie was just as good for Dean as oranges and served it up for him with a glass of milk and a roast beef sandwich with lettuce and cheese and tomatoes and two strips of bacon that Aziraphale had taught him to cook (this time they came out perfectly crispy and not at all charred). Maybe it was too much food, Cas thought as he arranged it neatly on the tray. Whatever, maybe Dean will feel better with the tea Martin had given him and be willing to eat. He set everything on a little tray and then cleaned out an empty beer bottle and put a pretty orange daffodil in it. Then he decided to leave it on the counter on the kitchen because it seemed too 'chick flicky'. Then he replaced it on the tray and thought to himself 'The hell with it, Dean's delusional anyways'.

He was about to pick up the tray when he heard knocking at the door.

He went to the door and saw a cute little girl scout at the door.

'_What in the world?'_ he thought but opened the door nonetheless.

"Oh wow!" the girl scout said when Cas opened the door.

"Yes?"

"You have really dark hair and blue eyes!,"

Cas blushed, "Yes well, you have really cute pigtails, who are you?"

"Your voice is weird. My name is Ann and I'm here to make a delivery for Dean and Sam Winchester, they ordered cookies from me while they were in town a couple of months ago they gave me this address but every time I come, no one's around. Do you know when they'll be back?"

"Sam won't be back until late sweetheart and Dean is sick inside," Cas said, 'accidently' brushing a salt and borax mixture 'off' his 'shirt' and onto the little girl.

"Oh." The girl glanced back at her mother who simply shrugged and and Cas took the opportunity to prick the girls arm with a small silver pin (kept on him for these type of emergencies when subtlety was needed [also because he had spent a few years with the Witchfinders of America and old habits die hard]).

"Ow!" the girl said but nothing else happened, "Anyways," she said rubbing at her forearm "Will you take them in for him?"

"Of course," Cas said reaching beside him and into a small basin where holy water was kept. He wet his hand and then took the package from the little girl. He extended his holy hand for her to shake.

"Thank you and sorry my hand is wet, just washed the dishes,"

"No problem, Mr.."

"Castiel,"

"Well thank you Mr. Castiel. Oh wait! There's one more thing in the car," the little girl said and scampered to her mother's car. She returned with a bag of apples.

"Here you go Mr. Castiel, Dean also ordered apples. For pie he said,"

"Oh thank you Ann," Cas had no idea Girl Scouts sold fruit now too.

"Of course, please tell Mr. Winchester and his brother I said enjoy," she smiled sweetly and headed back to her car. Her mother smiled proudly at her daughter and sent a sneer at Castiel. Cas jumped back at the sudden malice, but figured it was because she put two and two together and did not approve of his relationship with Dean. He closed the door and once in the kitchen began to sort through the apples.

"I didn't know you could use pink ladies for pie," Cas said loudly enough hopfully for Tammi to hear. He rather liked the bird and hoped her babies wouldn't be eaten by cats. He picked a very round apple that was pink all over except for around the stem where it was a bright green. It looked like a strawberry and Cas smiled. It was perfect.

'An apple a day,' Cas thought before taking a bite of the juicy sour-sweet fruit. He chewed thoughtfully. There was another tangy taste that he couldn't quite place. He let the juice run down his throat before he actually ate the flesh.

Suddenly Castiel fell forward, the bag of apples falling around him.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_: Bwahaha! So anyways, sorry this chapter is late. I hope you enjoy it. The chapter that will be posted next will continue the story begun here and then Thursday will be a pre-hunt chapter in which Dean teaches the Good Omens cast how to shoot a gun.


	21. White as Snow

Author's Note: Here you go, Part two, as promised.

Disclaimer: If you actually believe any of the characters or familiar looking aspects of plot are mine, you are bat-poop crazy and can pm me your concerns.

On with the story.

* * *

James was just meeting Arachnia when Tammi fluttered over to them.

'A witch! A witch!' Tammi cried.

'What the hell are you talking about?' James asked.

'A witch came with her girl scout daughter and gave a package to Cas and I keep pecking at the door and I'm yelling and tweeting and warning but he hasn't come out! I think something bad has happened!'

'A witch?!' James asked.

'Yes, a witch! Hurry James,' Tammi said fluttering ahead. Arachnia hitched a ride upon James. Soon, they found Martin.

'Martin! Something bad has happened to Cas!'

'What?'

'There was a witch and-'

And Martin had to hear no more, there was a reason he was an old and lonely bachelor, he stooped his head and allowed for James and Arachnia to climb aboard. Tammi went to find Arthur, Remy (the insomnia-ridden owl) and Delilah (the frog). They made their way to the Batcave and Arachnia was able to slip into the keyhole and pick the lock.

They raced through the house looking for Cas. Finally Remy hooted,

'h-Over here everyone, I've found him,'

There was Castiel on the floor of the kitchen, Dean's lunch long forgotten on the counter and the apples spilled around him. An apple with a bite missing still lay in his hand, an eerie reminder of the dangers of forbidden fruits (sounded a lot better in my head).

Arachnia climbed onto his neck (and all the arachnophobia readers cringed) to feel for a pulse with her sensitive legs. Her eight eyes stared up sadly at the rest of her companions and she shook her head.

'I'm sorry everyone, Cas is dead.' She whispered barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

Martin nudged the poisoned apple out of Castiel's hand and nuzzled it gently.

'He was so kind to us,' Martin said sadly but refused to let any other emotion show.

The rest of the animals gathered closer and each mourned in their own way the loss of the beautiful former angel and his voice and his kindness to all.

I feel like I sound like friggin Walt Disney so I'll just say, they mourned for three hours and then they decided to bury Cas.

'But he looks so peaceful, you guys know he can't sleep sometimes right? Look at him, he looks like he's getting the best rest he's gotten in a while. We can't just throw dirt on that face,' James motioned with the end of his tail. Indeed, none of the animals want to defile the smooth, white face. For once Cas had shaved properly and he had no 5 o'clock shadow. The apples of his cheeks (I know, not punny) were still tinged in a slight blush making him look like he was dreaming of something embarrassing like being at angel choir practice in his vessel (akin to underwear in this situation), or Dean teasing him about the daffodil. Besides, no one wanted to say goodbye to that gorgeous face.

'So what?' Martin asked.

'I don't know but I sure as hell don't want to bury him,' James said.

'So then let's not,' Tammi replied.

'What do you mean?' Remy asked

'Humans have special customs for burying people, they don't just put dirt over them, they have nice beds with lids that they put them in. They dress them up fancy and then lay them down. Their families come by and say goodbye, or cry, or just make their peace. Then the lid gets closed and they make a hole in the ground and then they put the dirt over the bed,'

'Alright, but how do we do that?' Delilah asked.

'We can't but we can do most of it. We can dress Cas fancy and lay him down on his bed and then we can go get Dean to call Sam and Aziraphale and everyone can make their peace,' Tammi explained.

James slithered to Tammi and nuzzled his head against her wing.

'For a birdbrain you know a ton,'

And so they set out to drag Cas into his bedroom, make a sort of ramp thing to place him on the bed, redress him in the only suit he had (Tammi said suits were appropriate) and his blue tie (which no one knew how to tie so they just left it around his neck undone) and his trench coat covered his lower half.

'Who's going to tell Dean?' Remy asked.

* * *

Dean woke up starving, as if he'd been asleep for a hundred or so years. He got up and stretched, a few joints cracking. He sighed in relief. He felt wonderfully relaxed. He'd forgotten the perks of being sick. He took the thermometer off the nightstand and stuck it in his mouth waiting for it to beep. Once it did he glanced at the little LED screen.

"99.4, not bad," It was a lower than his 101.7 a few hours ago. Speaking of which, a few hours ago was the last time he had eaten, and if he recalled correctly, it was just soup and two cups of cold tea.

"Stupid Sam can't even make tea right,"

He was about to set foot out of the room when something felt very wrong, and empty, and alone. He looked around the room. All his hidden weapons were in place, all the salt rings were unbroken, his car keys were still there.

What was it?

Then his stomach growled reminding him it was empty. Dean shrugged the feeling off. It was probably just hunger. Something though niggled at the back of his mind warning that something much more important was missing.

Dean padded into the kitchen and saw apples all over the floor.

"What the hell?" he asked himself before stooping to pick them up. One of them had a bite taken out of it and looked moldy and ugly and downright unsanitary on the inside. He scowled at it and threw it in the trash. The rest of the apples he replaced in the bag laying a few feet away.

'Cas probably ate the apple and had to go throw it up or something,' Dean thought to himself when he spotted the tray of food (Obviously Dean's lunch). He smiled at the daffodil in the beer bottle and sniffed it.

"Aw Cas, you romantic," Dean cooed aloud before taking the tray and heading for the couch and the soothing television. He was halfway through eating his pie when a phone rang.

He looked at the time, six o'clock.

Had he really been asleep so long?

He went to the phone and answered, it was probably Sam, telling them they were going to be heading back. The caller I.D. told him it was Crowley (he just about had a heart attack when he saw the first two 6's but then calmed down when he saw the 7.)

"Hello?"

"Dean! It's Aziraphale,'

"Hey Zirah, you get your ink? Did it hurt like a b-"

"Dean, where is Castiel,"

"He's probably in the bathroom throwing up, he ate a nasty ass apple,"

"Have you _seen_ Castiel Dean?" Something in Aziraphale's voice made Dean worried.

"Not since like one in the afternoon, I've been asleep, what's wrong?" Dean demanded. Suddenly that empty, lonely feeling turned into a wave of nausea.

"CAS!" Dean screamed taking the wireless (he'd have to thank Sam for that one later [Dean had wanted the cool rotary phone and Sam had said it wasn't very practical and made him buy the wireless]) phone with him

"Dean wait!"

"Why are you calling?" Dean asked as he searched the kitchen.

'Oh my God, Cas knows what time lunch is, lunch starts at around noon. Why didn't he bring me lunch then?! No friggin' vomiting fit takes friggin' six hours! Oh my God, where the hell is Cas,' Dean thought.

"No one was talking though and I started to worry,"

"Wait what?" Dean asked stopping his search of the kitchen (he'd even been checking the utensil drawers he was so worried).

"I said, I got a call from Castiel's phone, I answered but no one answered back,"Aziraphale repeated a little testily, "Crowley took the phone and he could hear someone on the other line panicking, but all I hear was hissing! It was some guy named James, he said something bad happened Cas and so we left the diner and got into the Bentley we've been driving at around 100 miles an hour we'll be home soon. Meanwhile find Castiel, oh wait Crowley wants to talk to you,"

"Dean, yeah hi, it's me, look, James isn't a man as Zirah would have you believe, he's a snake. A regular garden variety snake, so don't freak out. I just finished talking to him. There's about a half dozen other animals there with him, do NOT go hunter on them alright!? They are nice normal animals,"

"WHERE THE HELL IS CAS?!"

* * *

"In his bedroom," Crowley replied, "Now Dean once you go in, I don't want you to freak out alright? Hello? Hello!? Aw fuck," Crowley said glancing at the screen "Dean hung up on me," he said handing the phone to Aziraphale and looking at the rearview mirror at Sam who's brow was furrowed with worry.

"Okay, what's going on?" Sam asked from the backseat.

"Nothing good," Crowley replied, "There are about a half dozen or so animals in Castiel's bedroom. Oh, he can by the way talk to animals,"

"Cas can talk to animals?" Sam asked giving Crowley a look of disbelief..

"Yeah, and apparently the animals are crazy for him, regular old Snow White. They were helping him with chores and stuff and they left him alone for five minutes and then a bird who lives on the bunker door went and found them and told them that some witch and her girl scout daughter came and left a package for you.

"We didn't order girl scout cookies," Sam protested.

"Well the girl was rather convincing, and apparently also the frigging step-daughter of the witchy mom since nothing worked to figure out who she was and the mom stayed far enough away to be safe. Unimportant! Anyways, the kid gave Cass cookies and a bag of apples and Cass ate one and it was poisoned and he's dead,"

"WHAT!?" Sam and Aziraphale exclaimed at once.

"Oh I wasss hoping you two wouldn't freak out if I delivered the news like that," Crowley muttered.

"Cass is dead?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry you guys," Crowley said quietly taking a hand off the steering wheel and squeezing Aziraphale's knee gently.

"No, you're wrong, I talked to Castiel this morning, he wanted to know if he should use canola oil or butter to make Dean bacon, he's fine," Aziraphale said tears filling up his eyes.

"Dean and Cas just got together, no way is he dead, it's too soon, they were going to grow old together," Sam added

"I'm sorry Sam, he's been dead for a few hours now, no resurrection by the Lord, or Metatron. Just dead,"

* * *

Dean skidded down the hall.

"Oh my God, Cas!" Dean shouted. He finally reached Castiel's bedroom and yanked open the door. It would've looked friggin hilarious the way the animals all surrounded Cas and the moose just lay there next to Cas with it's big sad eyes and Cas looked like he had fallen asleep petting it and oh my God, Cas was just sleeping and the animals were just worried that Cas would wake up and still be sick so they had called Crowley to tell Dean to help look after him because of course animals can't look after sick people. That's what was going on.

"Hey Cas buddy, wake up and let's get you out of your suit, why the hell are you even wearing it huh? Must be damn uncomfortable sleeping that way." Dean asked somewhat relieved to see the blue tie undone around his neck. Cas must've loosened it to make sure he didn't get any vomit on it. Dean didn't mention that without his trench coat on, Cas looked like he belonged in a funeral home, although the idea did float by.

"Here, let me do that up for you Cas," Dean said and gently began knotting the tie making sure it would come out backwards.

Dean kneeled down next to the bed and watched Castiel for a moment.

"Come on Cas, wake up, rise and shine, sun waits for no one and all that stuff," Dean said eyes slowly filling with tears.

A snake slithered off its perch on Castiel's hand when Dean reached for it. He squeezed it gently and gasped at how cold it was.

"Man, James isn't it? You made Castiel's hand all cold you cold-blooded old reptile," Dean said and the tears began to slip from his eyes.

"Oh God," Dean cried as he buried his face into the crook of Castiel's neck and tried to warm him with the hot tears that ran down his face.

Suddenly Dean realized Cas must be dead and that's why he felt so empty.

He heard banging on the bunker door.

"Dean open up! We didn't take the key with us!"

Delilah, James, and Arthur left the room to go open the door. They returned with Sam, Aziraphale, and Crowley. Sam kneeled next to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder making him aware of their presence. Dean looked up and fell into his brother's embrace. He let out a few more shuddering sobs.

"I-I wasn't awake,"

"I know,"

"I-I didn't know,"

"I know,"

"He's been alone for six hours,"

"I know,"

"I could've saved him,"

"You don't know that,"

"I could've stopped him from eating the apple,"

"You don't know that,"

"I could've stopped him from opening the door,"

"You couldn't have known,"

"I could've taught him better,"

"You could not. He administered the tests, they didn't raise any alerts,"

"H-he made me lunch,"

"I know,"

"HE LEFT ME A FUCKING DAFFODIL SAM!"

Sam nodded and let Dean get angry and yell about the injustice of this godforsaken world.

Dean's sobbing slowly stopped and Crowley and Aziraphale came closer. Crowley listened to the animals recount the story and then he told it to everyone else.

"We gotta find the witch and see if she has some sort of a cure,"

"Dean, you know as well as I do, there is no cure for Death, it just happens."

"But,"

"Have we ever been able to save someone who's already dead?"

"Sam, we have to try,"

"Dean-"

"No listen to me Sam, Cas is dead, that means his soul, the one he got when he became human is either floating around somewhere around here stuck on earth, or else in heaven. Do you know who the fuck is up in heaven?! Metadouche! No fucking way am I letting Cas suffer eternity in heaven with that jerk,"

Sam nodded.

"Alright, let's find the bitch," Sam said and left the room. Dean followed close behind. Crowley squeezed Aziraphale's shoulder.

"Hey you need some time?"

Aziraphale smiled shakily.

"Yes my dear, thank you."

"No problem," Crowley said and left with James, Tammi, and Arthur trailing behind him. One by one the animals slowly left. Martin was the last to go and he pulled the door shut with his antlers.

Aziraphale finally let himself cry.

"Cas, why?" he asked. It was the first time he had outright questioned anything.

Aziraphale was a firm believer of the ineffable. Nothing happens without a reason and if you find something that has no reason, it's usually because the reason is 'Because God knows what he's doing'. God has a reason for everything, for creating angels, for letting Lucifer rebel, for letting the Anti-christ come to earth, a few times, for resurrecting Castiel, for the Arrangement, for letting Metatron con Castiel, for letting the angels fall, for the rearrangement, for leaving him his wings. Everything has a reason, even if he can't see it. It's second nature for an angel to know there is a reason. It's hardwired, it cannot be changed. An angel will never forget, there is a reason, even when all else seems helpless. Sure they could pretend they saw no reason, they could pretend the reason wasn't there, but one of the inherent characteristics of being an angel was knowledge in there being a reason.

However, Aziraphale was no longer an angel. He didn't have a little voice in the back of his mind saying 'there's a reason,'. Now, Aziraphale had to be the little voice and he found he just couldn't.

There was no reason for Cas to be dead.

So he cried and asked anyone around up there why, he threatened some ugly things too if whoever was up there was messing with Castiel's soul or if no one up there had any mercy and instead allowed for Cas to be dragged to Hell. He let himself get angry with the world, and God, and the Metatron, and apples, and witches and even girl scouts and he got angry at terrible people who took advantage and kind hearts like Cas, at people who just had too much heart, at people who tried so hard to please like Cas.

He looked up at the mirror and scowled at his reflection.

"Tell me glass, tell me true,

Of all the people in the land,

Who's the fairest, tell me who?" Aziraphale quoted.

The original story of Snowdrop (not Snow White as Disney had made her) had a much better rhyme Aziraphale always believed.

"Obviously that witch was jealous of you for something Cas, unfortunately witches are a petty bunch," Aziraphale muttered turning back to face Castiel. He noticed something.

"Oh God, please tell me he didn't swallow," Aziraphale said as he scurried out of the room and toward the library.

"Dean," he said once he arrived, "Help me with something!"

* * *

Author's Note: I'll have the final chapter and Dean showing how to shoot a gun up Thursday!


	22. Red as Blood

_**Author's Note**_: Okay, sorry, I was sick for like a week, then I got busy with real life (never much cared for it but yeah.). I like the beginnings of this one but I wasn't going to analyze my story telling skills I was gong to say stuff. 1.) Thank you to all the people who have followed or Favorited or reviewed since the 3rd of September. I'm going to get to you as soon as I can. 2.) I had two guest reviews that I have to address here. So a.) Java chip: Thank you for the review (holy apple pie filling! You're the 50th reviewer so thank you! B.) me, not me but Me. Yes, you, me. (sorry I couldn't help it) thank you first of all for reminding me that his thing has no plot. I can't remember if I've ever mentioned it before but no (I think I have but I could be wrong.). I'm sorry, this is not going to have any plot whatsoever, it's simply a place where I will be putting all of my Supernatural/Go crossover little plot bunnies that seem to multiply by the millions every night but can never be brought to life. I'm sorry. This story was originally a one-shot but now it's mindless plotless fluff and stuff that has nothing to do with anything else. That is why the chapters are going to seem less connected and also why the snow white plot came from left field. I swear to Obama, I do have a definite ending that might need to be prettified but, it exists and is just sitting there for the Season Premiere which is probably when I'll be ending this story. But no, there will not be any chapters really dedicated to opening heaven. For the purposes of this story, we'll just say the angels gave up because they felt like Adam and Eve and they got excited because hey, now they have a chance to show God how much they can truly love him and stuff. Okay? I'm sorry if this is not what you expected but I tried to warn people in earlier chapters (I think) and in the description of the story. I guess I didn't do a well enough Job. Thank you for your review me.

On with the story (I won't bother with disclaimers and warnings just read the last chapter's warnings and disclaimer)

ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Slowly the shadows cleared and were replaced by something bright and slightly blinding.

Cas shielded his eyes. He felt a hand go to his shoulder and he opened his eyes.

"Hello Castiel, back a little too soon aren't you? Didn't I tell you to come back when you had a story to tell me?" The Metatron asked.

Castiel tried to speak but found he couldn't force out any sound. This was worse than any nightmare.

"Well that is odd, you can't talk."

Castiel glared at him.

"I can still read your mind, yes. I assume you are here because you have died,"

Castiel tilted his head.

"I don't know how, let me see," the Metatron said and reached out a hand. Cas flinched away.

"Sorry, I have to," the Metatron said and placed the palm of his hand against Cas's forehead.

"Are you kidding me?" the Metatron asked in disbelief and Cas glared at him.

"You died the old fashioned Grimm way, you're not even really dead. What are you doing here?" the Metatron said and snapped his fingers. Suddenly everything was cold, dark, and empty. At least this time Cas wasn't completely gone. At least this time he still felt semiconscious.

He waited.

* * *

Slowly he began to hear noises. They sounded like animals chattering but if Castiel paid close enough attention he could make out words.

'Who's going to tell Dean?'

'He wouldn't be able to understand anyways, why don't we call Castiel's brother?'

'Why?'

'Well, Cas said they were both angels of the Lord so maybe Aziraphale will understand us too!'

'That's a good idea, where's Castiel's phone?'

'It's on the dresser charging,'

There was sounds of a bird's wings fluttering.

'Arg, it's a touch phone,'

'Do it with your nose, it'll work,'

'I don't have a nose, I have a beak.'

'I'll do it,' said another voice.

'What does it say?'

'Slide in any direction to unlock,'

'Okay,'

'God forbid he has a password,'

'Got it! And no he doesn't,'

'Look through the contacts,'

The voices started fading slightly. Cas fought to regain control of what he was hearing.

'Hello? Aziraphale can you hear me? Thisssssss is James, Hello?'

'He can't understand,'

Just call Dean, Cas wanted to say.

'Oh good, hello can you understand me?'

There was a pause

'Good Evening Crowley, This is James. Not to alarm you but I am a snake and I have here Castiel and he's kind of not very alive,'

There was another pause and Cas could hear a ringing somewhere in the bunker. It was stopped abruptly and Cas guessed Dean had just answered the phone.

'There was a witch and stuff and look you just have to get here as fast as you can alright?'

'CAS!'

Dean? Castiel tried calling.

Everything started fading againand this time Castiel wasn't strong enough to keep it away. Everything went dark.

'WHERE THE HELL IS CAS?!' was the last thing he heard.

Castiel felt himself a subtle weight on his chest and a slight tug against his neck. He tried to open his eyes, tried to look around but could not. He became slightly panicked before remembering.

Oh right, I'm dead or something. He tried to remember who had told him. But could only remember bright white lights and a voice and a cool touch and a person? A figure? A shadow?

Had it been the Metatron. It sounded right. But was it?

There was something in him right now. Castiel could vaguely feel it. It felt familiar, at the very least Cas had felt something like it.

My soul? Cas mused.

There was something else though, thin little tendrils of something else hanging on desperately to Castiel's own something. It felt familiar, comforting, loving.

Dean, Castiel thought. He focused on trying to get his own soul to encircle Dean's but it wouldn't do anything, in fact it seemed to be pulling away. Castiel frowned.

There was a soft pat on his chest and Castiel wanted to reach up and stop whoever it was. Castiel tried focusing in on what was going on around him.

'Come on Cas, wake up, rise and shine, sun waits for no one and all that stuff,' he heard.

Dean! Castiel thought happily. He thought about all the times they'd gone up against hell and heaven and other supernatural beings and how they'd always been able to defeat them and find a way out of everything. No doubt Dean would find a way out of this. Cas put all his faith in Dean.

Dean'll solve this.

Cas realized his own inner monologue had distracted him from what Dean had been saying.

'Oh God,' he heard Dean cry. He felt something extremely warm and then something hot and wet touch his neck. Castiel tried to move away. It was too hot, too warm. Or is he just too cold?

He felt the tendrils slipping away. He tried forcing his soul to go after it but he could not. Suddenly he realized. Dean must be giving up.

No Dean, don't, I'm still here. Dean, please, you're the only thing grounding me here. Please Dean don't. Dean. He could feel the heat shuddering and realized Dean must be crying.

Dean I'm here, Dean.

Cas tried so hard to talk.

DEAN

Everything was fading out again.

Everything went black for a moment and it felt as if Castiel had blinked but from the conversations he could hear, he knew he had been gone longer.

Now there were more people.

'I know,'

Sam? Castiel thought. He no longer tried talking. He couldn't anyways.

'HE LEFT ME A FUCKING DAFFODIL SAM!'

I did didn't I? Castiel thought. I forgot that.

He began feeling drowsy. He could hear Dean sobbing and maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to let go so he wouldn't have to hear it.

Castiel blinked again.

'Dean you know as well as I do, there is no cure for Death, it just happens,'

'but,'

'Have we ever saved someone who's already dead?'

Not without putting your own lives on the line. And I'd never forgive you if you did that Dean. Cas thought.

'Sam we have to try,' Dean said voice dripping with need and desperation.

Castiel tried to sigh forgetting he was dead, or something close.

Who told him he had died? Had someone told him? He couldn't remember anything anymore. There was an apple and he hit the floor and then a bright light, a cool touch, or had it been a breeze? Yes a breeze. And a shadow. Or a person? But who? All the angels were on earth. Probably just the shadow of the animal who had found him. James? Martin? Tammi?

Castiel blinked.

He could hear a different type of crying now. It wasn't so angry as Dean's or as desperate but still pretty mad and still a little in need of a solution.

"Why Cas? There was no reason to take him! He's done nothing but what we were afraid of doing, the right thing! He's done his job a thousand times better than anyone! He's done his duty or at the very least tried! I swear on my soul if any one of you bastards left up there does anything to his soul I will personally fly my broken winged self up there and kill each of you. He damn well better be up there or I swear I will rip apart hell finding him and I promise heaven won't be spared!'

Aziraphale no, I'm here.

'Who the hell let's witches run amok around here without smiting them? Who GOD!? WHO FATHER?! What sort of FATHER does this to his children. Something so measly as a witch killing Cas?! The Angel with too much heart?! The warrior of God who repaired the righteous man and put him back together from his time in hell?! Why would you let a WITCH kill him!? Or is this one of your stupid twisted jokes Metatron? Do you get off on writing the ends of the angels who were cast out to your own liking or what?! What kind of god lets Castiel die!? All he did was try to please.'

I'm here Aziraphale. Don't get mad. There's always a reason. Remember? God has his own plans. We don't know, we'll never know. He plays that weird poker game of his.

Castiel blinked again.

The whole of the room had changed from angry, charged pacing to a calm acceptance.

'Witches are a petty bunch,'

Castiel's tongue felt numb. It's probably why he couldn't talk. Wait who had said he couldn't talk. Had it always felt this way? Did this happen when you died? Was Castiel dead? He couldn't remember. He thought he was right, he was dead. He had seen all the white lights and the cold and the shadows the supposed angels guiding him home. But the angels were on earth right? He hadn't seen anyone. Thankfully he supposed. He didn't think he could face seeing Metatron.

'Oh God, please tell me he didn't swallow,'

Swallow what? He tried to feel around his mouth for something. He couldn't though. His tongue was numb. No wonder he couldn't talk. Wait.. who said he couldn't talk?

* * *

"Dean, help me with something!"

"Aziraphale?" Dean asked. He glanced back at Sam who shrugged and motioned for him to go.

"I'll be fine here,"

Dean stepped out of the library and found himself being pulled toward Castiel's door. Dean pulled away.

"No,"

"But Dean,"

"I said no, I don't want to see him again,"

"You don't understand Dean. They end happily ever after,"

"What?"

"Fairytales,"

"What?"

"This is a fairytale,"

"I'm not following,"

"Don't you see? Talking to animals, evil people giving you poisoned apples. It's a fairytale.

"Aziraphale, you're insane,"

"No I'm not, you can still save Castiel,"

"Cas is dead,"

"He didn't swallow,"

"What?"

"This kind of poison only works if you swallow the flesh, it's why Snowdrop or, as Disney renamed her, Snow White was able to live after-"

"After a kiss from the prince? What you're saying is I have to kiss Cas?"

"What? No, that's necrophilia. None of the princes ever kissed a dead princess. Well, except for Briar Rose's prince. Point is, snowdrop didn't get kissed,"

"Alright, what did he do?"

"You're never going to believe me,"

"Try me,"

"The dwarves didn't want to bury Snowdrop, so instead they had a sort of above ground funeral and a prince rode by and saw her and wanted her-"

"I thought you said none of them practiced necrophilia,"

"It was never directly stated that that was what he wanted to do, anyways, he begged the dwarves to release her to him and eventually they do and as he's lifting the coffin, the bite of apple falls out of her mouth and she wakes up,"

Suddenly it is Dean pulling Aziraphale along.

"You'll take out the apple?"

"Anything for a chance at an alive Cas,"

Castiel could feel something pull back on what he thought was his soul. He frowned. Or at least, he tried. Had he really felt it?

* * *

Dean and Aziraphale had been at it half an hour.

"The kitchen?"

"Let's move him to the kitchen yes,"

Dean stared at Aziraphale warily.

"To the kitchen? Why?"

"Just do it Dean," Aziraphale said.

Dean walked over to Cas's bed and slid his hands under the body, he lifted and Cas's head lolled back.

* * *

Castiel could feel himself being lifted up. It felt familiar, vaguely like he was flying. He felt his head tilt back suddenly and his mouth opened.

* * *

Dean winced and uttered a quiet sorry. As Dean was walking through the door way he felt something in himself shift. Almost as if his soul was holding its breath. Dean stared into Cas's face stilled poised halfway in the hall, halfway in his room. Dean dropped to his knees Cas still in his arms. Cas's mouth was slightly opened and Dean could see it was empty. Where was the apple?

He looked around desperately for it.

* * *

Castiel blinked his eyes open and was immediately blinded by what he saw. He squinted through the sudden light and saw Dean's face.

* * *

"It's not in there Zirah, where the hell is it?!" Dean begged glancing around at the floor around them.

"Dean," he heard.

He looked up at Aziraphale whose eyes were filled with tears. He shook his head and pointed.

Dean looked back at Cas's face.

"Cas?" Dean asked gently.

Cas's hand shakily made its way up to Dean's cheek. He could feel those tendrils growing thicker, stronger and he felt his own soul reaching out finally. Dean tilted his head into it and placed his own hand over Castiel's now warm fingers.

"Hello Dean," Cas rasped.

Something in Dean welled up with something feathery and happy and fluttery. The nausea Dean had been feeling since he'd woken up was gone. He felt whole again.

* * *

So what do you do when your… significant other (really he and Cas had to have a talk about what exactly the two of them were) is no longer dead but there, alive, in your arms and looking up at you like it's been a thousand years since you've seen each other?

Dean began laughing hysterically, because really what can you do? No one should cheat death as many times as Team Free Will had and yet there was Castiel staring right back up at him smiling like an idiot glad to see Dean laughing. Then Cas's frown fell of his face and was replaced by a frown. Dean continued to laugh as if Cas had just done the funniest thing in the whole friggin world and suddenly he feels Cas's fingertips climb up to just under his eyes and they wipe something away, and Dean keeps laughing, but it's more of a shuddery kind of a laugh and he reaches one hand to wipe his other eye. Dean could just about punch himself. Seriously? When the hell did he start crying?

Castiel sat up and got out of Dean's lap but remained on the floor and Dean let him so that he could wrap his arms around the former angel. Cas let him cry and laugh and hug. Castiel rubbed Dean's back comfortingly. Dean begins to pull away and Castiel chances a glance up at Aziraphale who has remained motionless or rather stunned near the bed something odd about the size of a bite of an apple in his hand.

Cas smiles almost apologetically and reaches both arms out to his little, not by much but by enough, brother. Dean moves away for Aziraphale to hug his brother. Aziraphale kneeled and hugged Castiel firmly, trying on a subconscious level to ground him to the land of the living.

"There's always a reason," Castiel mutters gently combing back Aziraphale's curls.

And then it was Aziraphale's turn to laugh hysterically.

* * *

It was nearing midnight when Castiel finally stumbled into his bedroom. He had technically been sleeping for most of the day but he still felt drained. He had changed into a black t-shirt and a pair of boxers when there was a knock on his door.

"Yes?" he asked.

Dean slowly opened the door and walked in with a duffle bag filled with weapons that needed polishing.

"Dean, not tonight,"

"Not tonight what?" Dean asked taking his seat near the bed.

"I am too exhausted for nightmares and your habit of staying up to watch me and make sure I don't have any is probably what caused you to be sick in the first place," Castiel said walking up to him. He touched two fingers to Dean's forehead and frowned.

"You're still running a slight fever,"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't staying up, it was probably Sam's cooking,"

"Dean, not tonight. Go sleep in your own bed, you're probably dead tired too."

"But Cas, I've run on a lot less sleep. I usually only need four hours-"

"That's the other thing I was forgetting," Cas interrupted "Crowley said humans need at least eight hours,"

"Cas," Dean whined looking like you had just kidnapped the poor guy's puppy and given it to Lucifer. Except you know, Dean would probably be okay with that, might even use the puppy as bait for Lucifer if he could.

_'Cas, I don't know how to say this out loud but, well, prayer usually works. Cas, last time I slept, you died. Let me keep guard. Please? Understand now?'_

Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

"You realize I hear that right?"

"Yeah,"

"Castiel smiled and took Dean's hand in his own.

"Tonight, I'll watch,"

Dean sighed. He had wanted Castiel to give in, not reverse their roles. He was led back to his bedroom and instructed to change. As soon as Dean began sliding drawers open, Castiel disappeared inciting a small panic attack inside of Dean. Castiel however, returned with a few pillows and dragging a chair.

He positioned the pillows on the chair while Dean changed.

"Now what?" Dean asked.

"Now you sleep, for eight hours and I watch and make sure you don't have nightmares,"

"I'm not going to have nightmares-"

"Nightmares occur after traumatic events, wouldn't you say having your mate die is traumatic?"

"My mate?"

"Yes, we are mated aren't we?

"Are we?"

"Well I am courting you,"

"You're what?"

"Courting you, I had assumed Sam told you,"

"He didn't tell me about courting, just that you and he had talked about us dating,"

"Courting is dating,"

"Yeah, but it sounds old fashioned and like you're going to propose we go steady or some shit like that,"

"No, I do not plan on asking you to go 'steady', I've never been quite sure I know what that even means, however, you are my mate, at the very least I like thinking of you in those terms since boyfriends, partners and even husbands can come and go but mates sound more permanent and I want you to be mine."

"Oh," Dean said realizing just how much he meant to Cas.

"Okay, I'll sleep," Dean said sliding under the covers. Cas sat back in his chair and watched. Dean gave him a shy smile before closing his eyes. Cas continued watching. Dean's eyes popped open after a few minutes and he scrutinized Castiel who had barely moved a nano-meter since Dean had closed his eyes. Castiel frowned and threw a pillow at Dean's head.

"Sleep," he ordered. Dean groaned and closed his eyes again. Castiel watched.

Slowly but surely the amount of time Dean kept his eyes closed was getting shorter and shorter.

"Dean!" Castiel finally chided frustrated.

"I'm sorry alright? I just, I can't close my eyes, what if I close them and then you're not there and I just dreamt we fixed you and really I'm going to your funeral tomorrow?"

Castiel's face softened.

"Dean," Castiel muttered "I'm really here, I promise. Please try to sleep,"

Dean sat up in his bed. Castiel cocked his head to one side obviously confused.

"Come here," Dean asked. Castiel obeyed and climbed into the bed. Dean pulled him closer and lay down with him. He put his chin on Castiel's head and tangled their legs together.

"Can't get lost or stolen this way," Dean murmured into Castiel's hair.

Castiel smiled and buried his face deeper against the hollow between Dean's neck and chest. Dean reached for Castiel's hand and tenderly knotted their pinkies together.

_'Don't forget,' _Dean prayed.

"I won't," Castiel murmured squeezing Dean's pinky.

* * *

Dean cocked the gun and aimed at the target.

Bang! bang! bang!

He lowered the weapon and checked out his results. He shrugged slightly, they were all pretty accurate, two to the head, one to the heart. Dean turned to look at Aziraphale who had his palms over his ears and Crowley who looked slightly queasy.

"Easy enough right?" he asked Aziraphale and Crowley before passing the gun to the demon who went right along and passed it to Aziraphale.

"Me?" Aziraphale asked.

"You've got the gun," Crowley shrugged.

"It's really not hard brother, just point, aim and pull,"

Aziraphale frowned nervously and stepped up to the barrier. He gulped before looking down the barrel of the gun. He pressed against the trigger softly and braced himself for the loud bang.

Nothing happened. He tried squeezing a bit harder.

"Dean, I believe this gun is defect-"

Suddenly, a loud noise interrupted his sentence. Everyone in the room swore (in their own way) and ducked to avoid any stray bullets. Dean quickly grabbed the gun out of Aziraphale's hand and put the safety on before giving it back.

"Careful,"

"Why didn't you tell me it was so sensitive!?"

"Usually people squeeze a little harder the first time,"

"I don't believe this," Crowley said grinning. Dean and Aziraphale turned from their argument to see what Crowley was smiling at. Aziraphale had made a perfect headshot. Dean smirked.

"Okay hotshot, empty the clip," Dean said motioning for Aziraphale to step up again.

Aziraphale did as he was told and while the second shot wasn't as good as the first, the ones after got better and better.

Aziraphale handed the gun back to Dean who replaced the clip with a new one.

"This should be easy. Get ready for a real show chaps," Crowley said placing one hand over his eyes and aiming the gun at the target,"

"Oh no, there are rules Crowley,"

"Rules?"

"Yeah, for one, no mojo. Just pure skill. Two, no endangering of lives,"

"Oh alright,"Crowley said, pointing the gun and pulling the trigger. Nothing happened.

"What the F-"

"The safety my dear,"

"Oh,"

"Take two," Dean teased. Crowley glared at him and aimed.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Dean, Castiel and Aziraphale searched the target for the tell-tale entries of a bullet. Then they began to laugh.

"You hit the wall man,"

"Oh dear, I thought you said you were good with guns?"

Crowley shrugged and put the gun down carefully. He shoved his hands into his pocket and began walking out of the room.

"Pshh, whatever. It's not like I even wanted to go hunting in the first place."

The three men stopped laughing and followed Crowley out the door promising to stop making fun of him.

* * *

(I'm doing something weird here in this next section so please, bear with me.)

Dean popped the hood of the Impala and began passing our weapons.

* * *

_"So Martin the moose, tell us about this witch?" Dean asked during a brief lunch outing to visit the animals and bear the news of Castiel's resurrection._

_Martin snuffed and walked closer to Castiel._

_"He says he had a mate. That she was perfect, that they were humans? You're a human!?"_

* * *

"Alright. Crowley, Sam, I want you two together. Cas, Aziraphale, you're with me,"

Everyone nodded. Dean had gone over this plan before in the car on the way up. Aziraphale and Crowley had improved in their gun skills but you could never be too sure. Dean asked them to make sure they had the iron bullets loaded. They did slowly they began making their way through the expansive overgrown lawn.

* * *

_"He said that his wife had wonderful embroidery skills, that they met the witch at a county fair. The witch was jealous of his wife's skills especially when it came to the clothes she had made their daughter. She made it so that his wife's fingers began to grow numb and eventually her entire hand became paralyzed. Martin found out what was going on and decided to confront the witch. It backfired and the witch turned him into a moose. He went home but his wife was terrified. He tried to explain what it was but he couldn't,"_

* * *

Dean knocked on the door.

"Candy-Gram!" he yelled.

He waited for a few moments and then gestured for everyone to step back. He was just about to kick in the door when it opened.

"Hello Castiel, I'm glad you're okay. My step-mom told me everything! I knew she was evil!" said the young girl before them.

"Ann?" Castiel asked.

"What are you going to do to her?" Ann asked.

"Listen Ann,"

"I don't care what you do to her, she's evil. I can't have any friends because she thinks they're better than me or her, or our family, she won't let me do what I want, and she puts so much pressure on me. Castiel, please, make her go away! She's killed everyone I've loved and she's warned me, if I grow up too pretty, she'll kill me too," Ann said with tears in her eyes.

Dean watched Castiel.

"We have to check to make sure you're not a bad guy Ann, sorry, it's the rules." He said pulling out a small silver switchblade.

Ann allowed herself to be tested, all the tests were negative.

"Okay Ann, is your step-mom inside?"

"The house is really big, I've only been living here a few days, I don't know."

"Okay, let's take you somewhere safe, where's your dad?"

"Dead, since I was a baby"

"Mom?"

"Dead, a few weeks before my Dad met my Step-mom"

"Do you have any family?"

"No I-" she was inturrpted by a young boy riding his bicycle up the path.

"Who the hell are you guys?! Stay away from Ann," he said glaring at them and pulling Ann behind him.

Crowley snapped his fingers and made the guns invisible.

"I could have sworn you all had guns"

"No son, just Child Protective Services," Dean said sending Crowley a grateful glance.

"CPS? What happened Ann?"

"Her stepmother abandoned her didn't she Ann," Castiel explained.

Ann understood immediately and began nodding her head.

"We need to take her somewhere safe until our partners show up but-"

"She doesn't have any family around. She can come stay with me in my house. My parents love her."

"Okay, take her there, we'll be there soon, just have to check the premises, see what sort of danger Ann was in,"

"Okay, come on Ann," the boy said pulling her with him. They had made it half-way down the path when Ann turned around and went back to Castiel. She pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you,"

"Ann, come on,"

"Coming Charles!"

* * *

_"He says she ran up the stairs and Martin chased her, he got stuck at the top flight but suddenly he heard someone cackling, he heard Claire, his wife screamed from inside the nursery… and glass breaking,"_

* * *

Crowley snapped his fingers and their guns were visible, they walked inside slowly. Dean motioned for Sam to take Crowley to the two floors upstairs while he Aziraphale and Castiel took the first level and basement.

* * *

"Mirror, Mirror in my hand, who has the sweetest notes in the land?"

"Through work and practice and natural ability,

it would be Ann, your kidnapped lass

However after the fall an angel turned human

Now the sweetest voice, belongs to Cas,

He has freed from your oppression, your prized little Ann,

Now he walks within your house, it is this man"

The mirror showed the witch an image of Castiel and the rest of the group splitting up inside the house. The witch roared in frustration and threw the hand mirror across the room, it smashed against the wall before reforming on the floor.

"They want to play? Let's play," she said before disappearing in a purple puff of smoke

* * *

_"Martin says the witch appeared to him and changed him into a human again. He ran into the nursery and saw the window broken but he couldn't bear to look outside. He knew what would be waiting out there._

_'You should have seen her,' the witch said 'She tried so hard to reach out and grab hold of something, anything, she was a fighter, she wanted to live.'_

_Martin begged for his wife's life. He begged the witch not to leave the baby in the crib motherless. That was when the witch saw her. The little baby. She grew envious of the babe and wanted the sweet innocent thing for herself._

* * *

"Do you think Ann-" Crowley was cut off by a loud thud. Sam brought a finger to his lips and went down the hall to investigate. There was another thud and Crowley followed. They waited a few more moments and another thud resounded.

Crowley motioned towards a door and Sam nodded. Sam kicked it open and stepped in.

It was a huge bedroom. A circular vanity mirror stood dead center.

The drawers flung themselves open and out came hair products, combs, scissors, brushes, make-up kits and curling irons. Crowley swore and tried to make them disappear but found himself powerless.

"Sam!" Crowley yelled as the taller man dropped his shotgun in order to battle a golden comb that had launched itself at his face. The demon went to help but was tripped by the cord of a hairdryer. His gun skidded out of his hands and across the room. He batted away make-up brushes and tried pulling himself to where Sam was.

* * *

_"Martin said that the witch promised to fix the 'problem' with Claire if Martin stayed a moose. He said okay and then suddenly, he found himself a moose. He looked out the window expecting to see Claire alive but instead saw an empty lawn._

_" 'I got rid of her for you, now no one will think it was you who killed her,' the witch said, walking to the crib, taking the baby and disappearing in a puff of smoke."_

* * *

Aziraphale stood at the foot of the stairs leading back up to the ground floor from the basement. He aimed his gun at the door while Cas and Dean looked around.

"I don't think she's down here either Dean," Castiel said as he looked around a stack of boxes. It looked like a normal basement. Boxes were piles upon boxes were piled next to old mannequins were next to old stacks of books and records. He didn't get any response but figured that was normal since He felt something nudge his foot and looked down. It was something green and long and it began crawling up his leg.

"Crowley?" he asked.

Aziraphale turned around and gave Castiel a curious look. He saw something crawling up Castiel's leg too but it was too dark to see.

"Crowley stop that, you're going to get shot if Dean sees you." Suddenly he too felt something crawling up his leg.

He glanced down and saw it wasn't Crowley's familiar snake face, or any face really, it was a scarf.

He shook his leg harshly and gasped.

"Castiel be careful!" Aziraphale said as he shook the scarf off.

Castiel made a choking sound and Aziraphale turned around.

"CASTIEL!" Aziraphale said trying to make his way to his brother.

* * *

_'You should have known better Martin, no one cheats death.' The witch declared just as she disappeared. "Lucy!" Martin screamed. It came out as an odd mix between a gurgle, groan and moo from his new vocal cords._

* * *

"Don't let the comb brush your hair Sam!"

"What the fuck kind of advice is that Crowley!?"

"It's poisoned, like in the fairytale!"

"Poisoned!?"

The comb was wriggling wildly in Sam's hand trying to get to Sam's scalp. Crowely kept trying to get up to help but each time he'd manage, another hair product or electrical cord would trip him.

"ARG!" he said after his fifth attempt. The comb looked dangerously close to Sam's face. He looked around for something, anything and spotted Sam's shotgun within reach. Quickly he grabbed it and began to shoot at a few things.

Bang, Bang, Bang!

* * *

"Castiel!" Aziraphale repeated. He raced to his brother and began to pull at the scarf that was slowly choking Castiel. A box in the corner of the room began to tip itself over. Falling open to the floor out sprang hundreds of scarves, belts and ties. Soon, Aziraphale was battling off an attacking army of possessed scarves. The witch appeared before them.

"You think you can get away from me? You think you can cheat death?"

_"As a moose, Martin tried to find her, he got close to the witch's house but she used an animal warding spell and he couldn't get any closer. He can tell us where she lives though." Castiel said._

_"Good, let's go snuff out a witch," Dean said._

* * *

"Ann was perfect, there was no one better. So sweet, so innocent, so pure. How could you let her escape like that?!"

Aziraphale quickly grabbed the shotgun at Castiel's side and aimed it at her.

"Oh no you don't," she warned. Moving one hand sharply, the weapon flew out of Aziraphale's hand and hit the wall, going off and lodging the bullet into the ceiling.

"This time, I'll make sure you're dead," she threatened Castiel whose eyes were rolling back.

"Hey witch!" Dean yelled. The witch looked up from her position over Castiel and gasped.

Bang!

She fell backwards, blood slowly seeping out of the single wound in her head.

* * *

Suddenly it was quiet in the bedroom with Sam and Crowley. The appliances had all turned off. The comb went limp in Sam's hand, he flung it away. Sam and Crowley sat up and looked around.

"Guess Dean found the witch,"

* * *

They arrived back at the bunker and found Martin as a human, wearing the clothes Sam had left him,

"Just in case," he told the moose before patting him gently on the antlers and following Dean to the Impala.

I turned out that Lucy and Ann were one and the same and after a paternity test, and lots of lawyers and legal stuff, Martin was able to have custody of his little girl.

* * *

_**SPOILERS MAY OR MAY NOT BE CONTAINED WITHIN THE NEXT AUTHOR'S NOTE. I TRIED NOT TO PUT ANY OBVIOUS ONES BUT HERE IS YOUR FAIR WARNING. SPOILERS MAY BE CONTAINED WITHIN. IF YOU WISH NOT TO BE SPOILED (season 9), THE GIST OF THE NOTE IS THIS THING WAS LONG AND A DISNEYLAND CHAPTER APPROACHES. **_

Author's Note: Holy Ships of Wrath, 5,500 words or so abouts. Damn. Sorry this took so long. It shouldn't have. Anyways, Did you watch the season premiere? I did and I am so excited that I was right about two head cannons I had. ALSO, Remember? I wanted to do disneyland like a few chapters ago? when I mentioned you could do quinceaneras at Disneyland. Well, your disneyland chapter is ready and only needs editing. And then Sam did the thing and I almost died right then and there. You know what I'm talking about don't you? If you watched? Well, yeah. The end.


	23. And Now We're Gonna Go to Disneyland

There was something odd about Aziraphale one morning. But Crowley just couldn't put his finger on it.

"What did you do Angel?"

Aziraphale looked up in surprise.

"Oh Crowley, I didn't see you there. Did you have a nice shower?" Aziraphale asked before turning away.

"What did you do?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Aziraphale asked absentmindedly.

"Something is off about you," Crowley said rubbing his chin.

Aziraphale turned and gave the demon a curious look before shaking his head.

"I haven't done anything,"

Crowley did a quick inspection of Aziraphale. Penny Loafers? Check, Pants? Check, Shirt? Check. Ugly Tartan Sweater Vest? Well, this one was at least one of the more fashionable tartan vest Crowley had allowed Aziraphale to wear. Nonetheless check. Bow tie. Check. Glasses? Check. Golden angelic locks of hair? Check.

"Did you cut your hair?"

"No,"

"Have you been working out?" Crowley asked in that tone of voice that implies the sayer is thinking 'Oh isn't that just the most adorable thing?' in their minds.

"No!"

"No need to get so angry,"

"For goodness sake's Crowley—"

Hmm. For goodness sakes. Crowley had never thought about using that phrase before. He tucked it away for later.

"— I haven't done anything!" Aziraphale continued.

Crowley shrugged and sat down on the couch next to him.

"I'm sure Sam and Dean would appreciate it if you put a towel down,"

Crowley snapped his fingers and there was one on the cushion.

He grabbed the remote and changed the channel. Then he realized that was what was off.

"Oh my Someone, Aziraphale!"

"What?!" Aziraphale asked becoming alarmed.

"YOU'RE WATCHING TELEVISION!"

"Oh, well I don't have any books around,"

"Sam has a billion,"

"I've read them before,"

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"Oh," Crowley said adding 'Get Zirah books' to his ever-expanding to-do list.

"Hmm,"

"It's still weird. Watching television I mean. It's weird with three exclamation marks,"

"What was that dear?"

"Nothing," Crowley said winking at you through the monitor.

"I think your eye twitched,"

"It happens. A lot like hissing actually," Crowley said turning his attention back to the television.

"So what were you watching,"

"I think it was what you call an infomercial for olive-de-pitters,"

"Oh, fascinating," Crowley said before changing it to a televised car show,

"It was very persuasive, I bought two." Aziraphale said as the show went to commercials.

"How?"

"I have a credit card and the cellphone you made me get—"

"Dammit Angel, I could've just miracled you one,"

"Is it really the Happiest Place on Earth?" Aziraphale asked interrupting.

"Excuse me?"

Aziraphale pointed at the screen.

"Is that place, really THE Happiest Place on Earth?"

"I've never been," Crowley said rubbing his chin.

"What does one do there?"

"Well," Crowley said pointing at the images on the screen, "You've got your flying elephant rides, spinning cups of tea, in the winter there's probably stuff on ice, there are talking cars, oh and you meet all those princesses and mice and other animals and you can buy yourself fake mouse ears with your name on the back," Crowley settled back pleased with his explanation.

"Who goes?"

"Obviously people who've never gone and people who have gone,"

"We've never gone," Aziraphale said after a moment.

"Would you like to go?"

"Are you asking?"

"Yes angel, I'm asking. You want me to take your Disneyland virginity from you?" Crowley teased.

"Crowley!" Aziraphale scolded.

"Are you not a Disneyland Virgin,"

"Well yes but—"

"Then I'm in the right," Crowley said and the car show came back on. Crowley turned up the volume with a gesture.

Dean walked in a few minutes later.

"Hey, Sam and Castiel are doing research on a case we're doing and they kicked me out, whatcha guys— OH MY GOD! CROWLEY PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NAKED ON OUR COUCH?!"

Yes, Crowley was buck naked on the couch. Did someone not mention that?

"Ah Dean! Just the person I needed to see," Crowley said standing.

"Get away from me you demon!" Dean said making the sign of the cross and trying in vain to avert his eyes.

"Oh calm down I just stepped out of the shower. I'm clean, and besides I put a towel down,"

"Why didn't you wrap one around yourself?!"

"I like to air dry,"

"He does this all the time back home," Aziraphale said attention vaguely on the pair as a very odd car with a tartan paintjob was being shown on the screen.

"That's okay when you guys are alone at your home but, this isn't London anymore. Your couple shit needs to stay in your bedroom.

"Couple shit?" Crowley asked incredulously, "Who was it I walked in on making out with their angel against the wall? Certainly not me and Aziraphale!"

"I don't care man, put on a towel,"

Crowley gestured and a suit stitched itself onto his body just as Aziraphale threw him the towel from the couch. The towel landed (with surprising accuracy) on the demon's head blocking his vision.

"Thanks angel,"

"Anytime dear," Aziraphale said turning around to watch the television again.

"Anyways Dean," Crowley said removing the towel, "I have a proposition for you,"

"What is it?"

"How would you Sam and Cass like to go to Disneyland,"

"We have a case,"

"Well, when it's done with,"

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly,"

"Deadly serious? About Disneyland? How can you be deadly serious about the Happiest place on earth?"

"It's just a saying Dean," Crowley said eyes rolling to the ceiling "Anyways would you like to come?"

"I guess, as long as none of us are seriously hurt after the case I don't see why not. Sammy and I have never been and I'm sure Cas hasn't either,"

"Wonderful! We'll all lose our virginity together," Aziraphale commented from the couch.

Crowley snickered as Dean's face turned read and he began gaping like a fish.

"I'm not a virgin!" Dean said finally "I've done it with hundreds of chicks! What does Disneyland have to do with virginity anyway?"

Aziraphale turned around again perplexed. Hadn't Dean just said he'd never gone to Disneyland with anyone? Now here he was going around telling them he'd gone with hundreds of girls. Or maybe he'd gone with hundreds of baby chickens.

"What about Sam? Is he a virgin?" Aziraphale asked ignoring Dean's question.

"I don't know what Sam does in his free time! Though actually he's probably not now that I think about it," Dean said blushing royally now.

"Is Cas?"

"Uh,"

Crowley just kept laughing. This was getting better and better.

"I don't know can Angels of the Lord do that kind of thing?"

"Oh of course, in fact at one point we were highly encouraged to partake in all humanity had to offer,"

Dean's face was priceless. Crowley was on the floor clutching his stomach and gasping for air he did not need.

"Of course given the way Castiel has always been he probably is a virgin. Unless of course YOU took him. Maybe one of the times you took one of your 'chicks'?"

If Crowley thought Dean's face from before was priceless, he'd have absolutely no idea what to call the new one that passed across his face and then came back and camped there.

"I- uh- the thing is- um,"

After a few minutes of Dean rambling and Aziraphale assuring Dean that still having his virginity was alright Crowley finally got hold of himself enough to explain.

"He means your Disneyland virginity, because you've never been!" Crowley choked out between chuckles, giggles and outright chortles.

"Oh," Dean said the flush in his checks going down somewhat, "Then um, yeah Aziraphale, I guess you could say I'm a virgin when it comes to that,"

"There, there Dean," Aziraphale said patting Dean's shoulder, "Was it so bad to admit that?"

Crowley sniggered.

"I've had sex though," Dean couldn't help but add.

"Yes dear, that's nice,"

"With lots of chicks,"

"I know dear,"

"Cas too,"

"Didn't need to know that Dean,"

"Just making sure we're on the same page,"

* * *

Luckily the case turned out to be a regular old run-of-the-mill ghost. They got back relatively unscathed and after a night of rest Sam and Dean awoke Castiel at the middle of the night, dragged him out of bed threw bags of luggage into the trunk and hit the road.

After hours upon hours of driving (but not as many as it should have taken thanks to Crowley's help in evading cops and traffic jams) they finally made it to California.

"Alright Dean, we are now in California," Castiel said as they passed a sign saying 'Welcome to California' will you please explain to me where we are going?"

"Why do you want to know so badly?" Dean was shifting his eyesight from the road ahead to the fuel meter wondering how the hell a half tank of gas could have lasted so long.

"Do you have any idea what it's like being awoken in the middle of the night taken out of bed, tossed haphazardly into the back of the Impala, driven across multiple state lines with a driver who won't explain what's going on and threatens to hurt you in the region of a human's body where no sun shines if you don't shut your cakehole when you have no idea what any of that means?"

"No, who would?"

"Dean!"

"You may as well tell him, he looks like he's planning his escape," Sam said gesturing to the former angel who was looking out the window and waiting for a break in the oncoming traffic to jump out the door.

"Alright, Alright. Cas, we… are going to Disneyland!" Dean said breaking out into a wide grin.

"Where?" Castiel asked confused. Disney sounded familiar. Was there a whole land of this familiar Disney?

"For fuck's sake Cas, DISNEYLAND! The Happiest Place On Earth?"

"Has that anything to do with a man who is now dead named Walt Disney?"

"Yes, everything,"

"Oh. He was a nice man, I met him briefly while in heaven a few days after he had arrived. He was what you might call a little perverted, but not so much so as to earn himself a place in hell. His heaven is especially 'fun' I am told."

"They have a Disneyland in heaven?" Sam asked

"No, not Disneyland, they call it Disneyheaven. Apparently Mr. Disney really did loved the concept of it. He calls it the Happiest place off Earth. I've never understood what he meant by that until now,"

"Have you ever been?"

"To Disneyland? Of course not, when I'm on earth it's usually for business,"

"No, have you ever been to Disneyheaven?"

"No, of course not, I hardly have time in heaven to go around to amusement parks. Many angels have gone though, and of course thousands of children have as well.

"Alright-y then, it'll be your first time,"

"Why couldn't we go to Six Flags?" Sam asked from the passenger's seat a few minutes later.

"Because Crowley wants us to go to Disneyland. Something about gluttony and greed and seven deadly sins nonsense and um something about Aziraphale never having gone and how he wants to be the first to take him (Dean mentally snickered at the double meaning). Also, he's paying,"

"What does that guy do?" Sam asked. Disneyland tickets were expensive, and they were staying at the California Adventure Hotel.

"Something about the stock markets and Steve Jobs and Bill Gates and selling them souls or something, honestly I have no idea Sam,"

"Can we stop before we get to Disneyland Dean?"

"Why? You need to take a bathroom break?"

"No, however I would like to get into more decent clothing. I don't think they'll look upon us to nicely if five grown men enter an establishment filled with children and one of them is in his underwear," Castiel said and motioned to himself. Dean realized Cas was still in his boxers and a white undershirt.

Dean put his signal light on and headed for an exit while simultaneously ignoring Cas trying vainly to cover himself and feel less exposed.

* * *

"Alright, give me the map," Sam said as soon as they were past all the Main Street U.S.A. Attractions,"

"Everything here is so pretty, they've done a really wonderful job," Aziraphale said looking around as Crowley helped him pin his "First-time Visitor" button to the knot of his bowtie.

"Do they mean the Abraham Lincoln Mr. Lincoln Dean?" Castiel asked fidgeting with the button on his own T-shirt, watching people enter the building.

"I've no idea Cas," Dean said pulling Castiel's hand away. Dean had put the button on straight dammit.

"Okay," Sam said staring down at the map in his lap, "We should start with Tomorrowland since we're already on this side then go over to Adventureland and make our way around the park counterclockwise,"

"Counterclockwise?"

"Yeah, that way we hit Toontown and Fantasyland late afternoon before they close for the fireworks,"

"I thought this was your first time coming here Sasquatch?" Crowley asked curiously.

"It is but come on, I do my research,"

"Alright, lead on Sammy," Dean said

"Sam," Sam corrected standing up and leading them towards Tomorrowland

"Right," Dean said following.

"I have another question Dean," Castiel said.

"Yeah babe?"

"Why do we only have the buttons saying it's our first time?" he asked motioning to himself and Aziraphale.

"It's cuter,"

"Okay so why are we the only ones with Mice ears?"

"Like I just said it's cuter, besides, Sam has a pair too,"

"A pair he wanted, the only reason we went into that store in the first place."

"Shh angel, just, be cool,"

"It is exceptionally warm here in California, I don't see how I can just 'be cool',"

* * *

"Aren't those supposed to be elephants?" Aziraphale asked glancing up at the small spaceships going around in circles.

"Aziraphale, we're in tomorrowland, of course not," Crowley said rolling his eyes.

"So are you saying in the future, flying elephants turn into spaceships?"

Crowley face-palmed and pulled his angel along after Dean, Cas, and Sam into the line for Star Tours.

The line went quickly and soon they were inside. Sam and Dean geeking out over all the things inside.

"Oh my gosh, Dean look! It's the droid Obi Wan almost chose!"

"Hah! Look that droid's not gonna make it through customs!"

"OH MY GOD IT'S R2!"

They went past a very talkative robot that was "scanning" them for possible terrorist threats. Crowley, Aziraphale and Sam passed by, (Crowely making faces at the droid's camera) as the droid asked them questions and tried making small talk.

"Oh is that your boyfriend?" the droid asked when Dean and Cas passed by. Dean's face heated up. He knew the thing probably asked every certain amount of visitors that question but he stilled couldn't help but blush at the chance phrase.

Then Cas began to talk back to it.

"Actually, I prefer the term mate," he told the droid.

"Very cute," the droid said. The family behind them smiled and Dean could see the rest of his group giving him and Cas the hugest shit-eating grins that ever ventured across their faces.

"Come on Cas," Dean muttered pulling on his angel's hand "It's not really talking to you,"

They entered the shuttle at the end of a winding hallway and sat down in the front row. They put on the glasses they picked up somewhere along the way and watched. The screen in front of them was lowered and C3P0 sat there telling them they were going to take a tour of space. Dean settled back to enjoy the calm ride. Sam started giggling like a madman.

"What the hell Sam?"

"This is going to be awesome!"

"Wait, it appears we have a rebel on board,"

Dean jerked his head at C3P0 at this.

"What the hell?"

"How did they know Dean?" Castiel whispered grabbing Dean's hand worriedly.

"No Cas, remember? The Rebels from Star Wars, not you,"

The screen went through a long file of pictures before settling on one and Dean could not believe his eyes.

"Sam?" Aziraphale, Castiel, Crowley and Dean asked simultaneously.

Sam hunched over a little in his seat as people all stared at him slightly amused.

"Where's your giggling now Sam?" Dean teased.

Then the fun started.

The room felt like it was moving and they crashed through a window, other droids, into water and under the sea back up into space, at light-speed through the universe until finally crash-landing at the Rebel's home base, accidently joining their cause for having harboring Sam.

They got out smiling and laughing making fun of each other's girly high-pitched screams.

"Where to next Sam?"

"Indiana Jones Adventure and then Pirates of the Carribean,"

* * *

They followed Sam through the park until finally decideing it would be a good idea to stop and eat somewhere. They decided on Rancho del Zocalo Restaurante. They finished eating and that was when Dean found the shooting range.

"Frontierland Shootin' Exposition," Crowley read, "The name demands me to put on a western Accent,"

"Don't my dear,"

"Let's play?"

"Oh Dean, come on, it can't possibly be difficult for you,"

"Let's play then Cas,"

"Fine," Cas said.

"Here," Crowley said handing them a roll of quarters.

"What the hell? Who carries around rolls of quarters?"

"I do, it beats having to go the machine to exchange a few bucks for them doesn't it? Makes it so there's less of a wait between you and shooting stuff."

"Alright then," Dean said deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He inserted two coins in the slot. He aimed at a small vulture and pulled the trigger. The bird squawked and flapped its wings.

"Hit," Dean said and looked to cock the gun.

"Come on Dean, it's a kids name you don't have to cock anything." Crowley snickered

"Right, okay Cas, you name a target and I'll hit it." Dean said blushing slightly.

"Okay, tree,"

"Hit,"

"Tombstone,"

"Hit,"

"Train,"

"Hit,"

Cas named 16 more targets and Dean only missed once.

"Good job Dean," Castiel congratulated.

"Thanks Cas," Dean replied. A small group of kids had formed and were all clapping and cheering.

Dean bowed and they began to leave.

"Where to next Sam?"

"Let's go to Toontown,"

* * *

As soon as they got to Toontown Castiel began to feel something was very wrong.

"Dean,"

"Yeah Cas?"

"I feel like someone is following us,"

"It's probably because we're in a crowd and all heading for the same place,"

"No Dean, it's not that,"

Suddenly Castiel whipped around and hit someone behind him. Children around him screamed and Dean turned around.

"CAS! That is Donald duck, you do not punch Donald Duck!"

"Who?"

"He's like the Daffy Duck of Disney Cas," Sam explained.

"Oh," Castiel said.

"My apologies Donald," he said shyly. Donald looked like he was having one of his temper tantrums.

"I really am sorry Donald, I'm not used to people following me around."

Donald nodded and stuck out his hand (fin? Oh wait no, it's a wing… oh the irony) for Castiel to shake.

Castiel shook it and the group went on its way.

Crowley was laughing and Dean was contemplating pushing him into the 'Rivers of America' lake.

"Oh that reminds me Aziraphale, don't go around telling princesses that their stories are completely off.

"There are Princesses? Let's go find them! I want to meet The Little Mermaid and ask her how they came up with her name Ariel,"

"Probably she isn't around and besides, she probably doesn't know,"

"Well then let's find King Triton, he probably does."

They went on a coaster and then right outside of Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin (which was actually fun but Aziraphale chided Crowley for having had flirted with Jessica Rabbit) they found a dynamite detonator.

"Oh, this should be good," Sam said pointing it out to Dean.

"What do you think it explodes?"

"I've no idea. Press it and find out,"

Dean went over and pushed the lever down hard.

"BEEEEEP!" the house behind them sounded as though Dean had gotten a wrong answer in a game show. Crowley started laughing hysterically.

"Crowley I swear if this is you using your mojo just messing with me-"

"Not at all Dean. Maybe you're just not as strong as you think,"

Castiel and Aziraphale giggled.

"Alright hotshot, if you think you're so strong try it yourself,"

"Why not?" Crowley said letting go of Aziraphale's hand to press the lever. Crowley made a big show of rolling up his sleeves as he walked over to the detonator..

"Whooooooooooooooooop!" The thing sounded as Crowley pressed against it.

"What the hell?" Crowley asked leaning back and staring at the house behind it. There was giggling and chuckling behind him.

"Your turn Sam," Crowley said ego only slightly wounded.

"The trick is pulling it up all the way you guys," Sam said pulling the lever all the way up, "And then pressing it down hard!" He said pushing it down.

"Pflbbt!"

Everyone burst into laughter while Sam blushed.

"You farted Sammy!" Dean joked.

"Not funny Dean,"

"Yeah it wassss," Crowley replied hissing.

Meanwhile Aziraphale and Castiel had walked up to it.

"You press it Zirah,"

"Castiel, you know full well if I press it, the house will probably laugh at my attempt."

"It's true, you are a little weak, but I have an inkling about this, I think it's programmed so that after the first few pushes, you know, after the adults try, they let the little kid try and that's when it works."

"Alright,"

"Aw Zirah, you want to try too? Wonder what it'll do. It might give you a small trophy for trying." Crowley joked.

Aziraphale glared at Crowley and then pressed down on it gently.

Explosions, lights, and sounds went off in the house behind them making it so that Aziraphale jumped and screeched a little.

Dean, Sam, and Crowley stared at Aziraphale's pudgy manicured hands.

"What the heck?"

Castiel stood back chuckling.

"Angel, you've been hiding your strength,"

Meanwhile a little girl walked up to the thing, pulled it up higher than her head and pressed down on it too. Again the house sounded as if fireworks were going off inside.

Castiel and Aziraphale started laughing again. While Sam, Dean, and Crowley stood back blushing.

"Again," they said and rolled up their sleeves. The house didn't explode again for any of them.

"Alright you guys, no need to prove how 'macho' you think you are, let's go," Aziraphale said.

"Wait press it one more time,"

"Oh alright," Aziraphale said and pressed down on the lever (this time with only one hand). Again, fireworks went off.

"I swear to God that thing is rigged," Sam declared as they walked away all with their egos a little hurt.

They went on 'it's a small world' and Dean fell asleep half-way through to Castiel, Aziraphale, Crowley and Sam pointing out the various countries and fun facts or things that were off.

Castiel glanced at Dean once and rolled his eyes.

"I told him to let Sam drive, but does he listen? No," Castiel said before Crowley miracled a cup of water into Cas's hand. Cas smiled thankfully and poured it on Dean's head. Dean spluttered as he woke up and looked around anxiously.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Why am I all wet?"

"Some parts were... Interactive,"

They stepped off the boat, Dean a bit drowsy and decided to watch one of the parades.

"I thought small world was creepier than it actually was." Sam mused as he led the group to watch the parade. After it was over they went on the spinning tea cups and Dumbo's flying elephants because as Sam put it.

"If you don't go on those rides, you haven't really been to Disneyland,"

* * *

They were getting off the teacups and Dean was really dizzy when Cas grabbed his arm frantically.

"Dean, Dean, that woman keeps offering me a bite of her apple,"

Dean instantly went on red alert before turning around and seeing the evil queen from Snow White.

"Don't worry Cas, she won't do anything."

The queen went up to Aziraphale and offered him an apple as well. He smiled politely but declined before following Castiel and Dean to the elephants.

Crowley walked up beside the queen and whispered.

"If I were you, I'd stay away from the cute couple over there, they had a little incident involving apples and aren't quite the same,"

"Oh I see, they know my tricks do they?" the Queen asked staying in character.

"All too well," he said lowering his glasses and winking his hazel eyes at her. She smiled wickedly back at him and turned to follow the young girl who played snow white.

"Why are your eyes a different color?" Sam asked having watched the whole encounter.

"It's best not to frighten the people who are supposed to be acting into coming out of character,"

It was around seven now and they were deciding where to go before heading for Fantasia.

"Let's go to Space Mountain!" Sam suggested.

"What's Space Mountain?"

"It's a roller coaster indoors,

"I thought we'd already gone on, look, I have my flattened penny and Dean has a picture from when we were going down,"

"No, no, no, that was Splash Mountain Castiel, Space Mountain is indoors and it feels like you're in space, it's in Tomorrowland,"

"Do you mean Space Tours?" Aziraphale asked

"No, Space Mountain! Besides, that's not even the right name, it was Star Tours," Sam corrected.

"Come on Sammy, let's just go get in line and then show them,"

"Sam, Dean, Sam,"

"Right,"

They lined up and the wait wasn't really quite as long as it could have been. Everyone started freaking out as they climbed onto the coaster.

"Oh my God Sam what have you dragged us onto?" Dean asked fidgeting in his seat.

"Nothing bad, no one's ever died yet," Sam replied playfully.

"Yet?" Crowley asked.

The ride started moving forward and Dean decided he was never going to follow Sam anywhere again.

They were faced with complete darkness. And Castiel turned his head to Dean.

"Penny for your prayers?"

_'Oh my God Cas,what have I done,'_

"I'm sure it's nothing too serious,"

Then suddenly they were pulled forward quickly.

Sam let out a loud whoop of joy while Dean screamed. Castiel began giggling and behind him he could hear Aziraphale muttering swears under his breath.

_'Cas, if I die, don't you dare find another holy shit, holy shit, holy shit what the fuck is that shit shit shit fuck crap AH!'_ Castiel laughed and placed a hand on Dean's knee and squeezed gently to you know, comfort him and cute coupley stuff. Dean however was so freaked out he thought of it differently.

"Oh MY GOD SOMETHING IS GRABBING ME!"

Sam in front of him had his hands in the air and was enjoying himself.

Crowley placed his hand over Aziraphale's and hissed happily. He of course could see beyond the darkness at all the railings and everything that was coming next so he sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Eventually nearing the end they were all laughing and giggling and whooping.

"That wasn't so bad," Dean said, feeling the adrenaline surging through his veins and his voice feeling raspy.

"No, not at all," Aziraphale said stumbling a little, "I feel weird walking,"

"Hey look! Pictures!" Crowley said walking up to the screen,

"Hmm, not bad. I like how Sam's so tall he covers almost all of Dean's terrified face," Crowley smirked.

"That was the best ride ever. Let's go again?" Sam said.

"Only if you want to miss Fantasia," Crowley reminded him, as he told the cashier woman the serial number for the picture.

"There is a show at 10 as well, we have time for one more ride. It felt like flying, I would like to go once more," Castiel reminded.

"Okay if I sit this one out Cas?"

"If you'd like,"

"Alright, how about Dean Aziraphale and I go find us places for Fantasia and then you two go again," Crowley suggested pulling away from the cashier with another bag and picture inside. He handed it to Aziraphale who was also holding the Splash Mountain one.

"Okay," Castiel shrugged following Sam to the line again.

"Hey, I want you texting me every two minutes Sam, you too Cas,"

_'I don't like it when you're out of sight,'_

Cas smiled and held up his pinky. Dean smiled and held his own up. Sam rolled his eyes and tugged at Cas's ear's (not his real ears, his fake ones, duh. Although…). Cas turned to follow Sam.

"Swear to God Sam, you lose him, you'll never hear the end of it," Dean threatened.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sam said racing to the end of the line.

* * *

As the ride pulled forward Cas closed his eyes and imagined himself flying across the sky. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace.

There was a flash, just like the first time but Castiel opened his eyes too late. Sam was still laughing excitedly beside him.

They got off the ride and went over to the picture screen.

"Wow Cas," Sam said patting his hair down. (It had a tendency to stick up after a ride), "You look so calm and peaceful in the picture,"

"Wow yourself, you look happier than I've ever seen you before," Cas said pointing at Sam who was clutching his side in the picture giggling and smiling.

"Let's get it for Dean," They both said simultaneously.

They all enjoyed themselves at the Fantasia show and began to make their way out. (oh wow, that almost looks like Make out, but they didn't.)

"I saw a bar outside at Downtown Disney, you guys want to go?" Crowley asked.

"Sure," Dean shrugged "Sam you're designated Driver,"

"Please, we don't need a designated driver, I'll just sober you up when we want to go home,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Crowley said offhandedly.

They drank for a little while and when Dean started to wobble on his feet when he stood for another round, Crowley decided it was time to go home.

"Come on Dean," he said and placed a hand on dean's shoulder. Dean winced and hissed.

"You didn't say it'd hurt,"

"I forgot," Crowley hiccupped before he too began wincing.

On their way home Castiel and Sam sang along to the radio feeling that high one often feels when coming back home from something really tiring. Then the songs went on a really long commercial break and Sam knocked out.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Cas?" Dean asked as they drove back to the hotel.

"I had fun, thanks,"

"Of course honey bee," Dean said and then suddenly regretted it.

'_Never ever EVER let Sam know I said that,_' he prayed quickly.

"I like bees," Castiel said starting to fall asleep.

Dean smiled. He glanced into the rearview mirror and saw Castiel adorably clutching his photo for Dean, fake ears slightly falling off and mouth slightly open, a few snores escaping.

From the passenger seat Dean heard a soft snort. He glanced over confused and then saw the huge shit-eating grin on Sam's face.

"Honey Bee?" Sam snickered and Dean blushed before punching his brother in the shoulder.


	24. Sine Nomine

I don't know when this chapter is going to show up but here we go.

Author's Note: This chapter was written before I wrote the chapter about how Crowley and Aziraphale are together and also before Dean and Castiel get together which may explain the lack of like super cute stuff with them acting couply. Sorry. There are a few bits that I just tacked on at the end and here and there while editing to at least make the chapter go along with what I have already posted. So, yeah, sorry. And um. deep inhale, sad exhale. Basically, it's only being publishe now because I had to write about Cas being able to talk to animals first and that turned into it's own huge thing and then other stuff and Disneyland and yea. Deep inhale. So that's all.

Disclaimer: Dude, it's totes not mine. Just dee pussy is. wink wink.

* * *

Castiel sat at the open entrance to the bunker with a bitter look on his face. It just wasn't fair sometimes.

"Cas, stare all you want, the rain doesn't look like it's going to let up in time," Dean commented from where he was on the couch reading a magazine.

"You promised we'd go to the lake," Castiel said a tad childishly and dean decided no more PBS shows.

"We can't go if it's raining," Dean reminded.

"I don't see why not," Castiel said crossing his arms in front of him and staring down the rain.

"There's no point Cas, we go to lakes because it's hot and we need to cool off, it's not hot today, we don't need to cool off besides, we might catch a cold if we're out swimming while it's raining.

"I thought summer was supposed to be hot," Castiel mumbled loud enough for Dean to hear.

"It's just one of those freak occurrences Cas,"

"Freak occurrence? Those things aren't supposed to happen on days where you promise we'd go to the lake."

"What's the real problem Cas?"

"I'm tired of being stuck in the house. Let's go on a hunt or something,"

"Today? In the rain? We can call Garth about one tomorrow,"

"But Dean, I'm so bored!"

"The roads are mostly closed anyways, it's been pretty heavy for days now, and lots of the main roads out of town are flooded," Dean explained.

"Then let's do a case in town!" Cas said acting out of character. It was slowly beginning to annoy Dean. Where was the angel who accepted whatever explanations Dean offered no questions asked like a good soldier?

"There are no cases in town Cas,"

"Stupid town, being safe."

"Nothing you can do about it,"

"Let's go somewhere, anywhere,"

"Cas, We'll go somewhere tomorrow, the rain's supposed to let up tomorrow. If we drive in this kind of rain we could crash and then where would we be? Dead, that's where."

Castiel sighed and returned to staring out the window.

"It's not fair," he muttered and Dean ignored him, which in all likelihood was what he should've done the first time.

Crowley walked into the room and plopped down beside Dean.

"He still hasn't moved?"

"Oh no, he moved, you need to move in order to complain about being bored and wanting to be let out."

"Why don't I just take him to the lake, help get it out of his system?"

"The point of going to the lake is to go all together," Castiel said from the doorway.

"Well how about I take you today and then we all go together another day?"

"How does that solve the problem?"

"He's right you know Crowley. No offense.

Crowley sighed and grabbed the control to the television.

"It's not fair,"

Dean groaned loudly and slammed his magazine onto the table next to the couch. Crowley jumped back but Castiel stayed put used to Dean's little tantrums.

"Shut up Cas!" Dean said. Castiel turned to look at him and then they had a glaring contest before Dean looked away sighing. Castiel stuck his tongue out at him and Crowley snickered before he flipped through the channels.

"What do you want to watch Dean-o?"

"Anything to drown out Cas,"

Crowley flipped to a random channel and low and behold, a marathon of Dr. Sexy.

"I didn't know this channel even aired Dr. Sexy,"

Crowley shrugged. Dean had gotten him hooked. They sat through two episodes totally engrossed completely ignoring the petulant sighs and mournful groans Castiel emitted every once in a while. The rain outside lessened to a drizzle but Dean and Crowley hadn't noticed.

* * *

During the very emotional season 4 finale Dean suddenly lifted his head.

"Where's Cas?"

"W-what?" Crowley asked with tears streaming down his face. He had forgotten his sunglasses long ago.

"Cas? Where is he?"

Crowley looked around and couldn't find the former angel.

"Holy shit," he said. Suddenly, in the middle of the final scene, the television cut to a commercial break.

They raced around the house looking for him. They passed a room where Sam and Aziraphale were busy talking about the histories of some ancient civilizations.

Sam winced as he put down an empty shot glass.

"But Professor Lindgard said—"

"I am a millennia old being Sam, do you really tink I care what a young tosser like Lindgard said? I'm telling you, the pyramids have nothing to do with astrological formations, it was all a coincidence!"

"I suppose you're going to tell me that the dinosaurs were all a hoax too?"

"Actually, funny story about dinosaurs," Aziraphale said pouring himself another glass of wine.

"Have you guys seen my keys?" Dean asked barging in. Crowley was trailing behind him calling Castiel's new cellphone. Judging by the sound of Living on a Prayer drifting through the door of Castiel and Dean's newly shared bedroom however it was safe to assume that Castiel had left his phone behind.

"Yeah, on the table there," Sam said pointing them out, "So, tell me about these fossils," he asked turning his attention back to Aziraphale.

Crowley scowled and snapped the alcohol out of the wine and tequila. Not that the drinkers would notice anytime soon but Crowley didn't feel like dealing with alcohol poisoning and a missing Castiel in one day.

"Tell him about the Fossils and so help me Go-Sa-Me Someone, I will make you wish you were a fossil Aziraphale," Crowley warned before following Dean out the door.

Aziraphale was too busy chugging down a shot of Tequila to notice Crowley's threat.

Dean and Crowley hurried to the door just as Castiel slipped back inside.

"Cas! Where the hell did you go?!" Dean yelled upon seeing the former angel. Castiel jumped and dropped something.

"Hello Dean," he said quickly moving away from the door drawing attention away from whatever he had dropped.

"Don't you 'hello Dean' him, where the earth were you?" Crowley asked crossing his arms. He was beginning to feel very parental.

"I was just outside singing that one song about the old man who snores," Castiel answered nervously.

Dean and Crowley stood for a moment stupefied not knowing whether to be upset with Castiel or to burst into laughter. They would have believed him too if it weren't for the sneezing fit Dean fell into a few moments later and the fact that Castiel's trenchcoat sleeves and shoes were muddied.

"Cass, what's really going on?" Crowley asked fingering his sleeves. He turned back to the door remembering the thud and saw a small, muddied, gardening trowel on the floor.

"Promise not to get mad?" Castiel asked.

"Cas," Dean warned between sneezes.

"I was looking outside the door and it wasn't raining hard anymore. I looked over at the Impala and the Bentley and I saw something move under them. I thought it was an animal and Dean doesn't like dogs and he's allergic to cats and cats and dogs do not make for good parts in a car's engine so I went outside to shoo them away and then I saw the mother cat and she had recently had kittens, they were only minutes old Dean, and the other two babies were dead Crowley, there's only one little kitty alive now. The mom told me to take care of the baby before dying. I buried the mom and the other babies,"

The silence in the room was thick until Dean sneezed again.

"Where's the cat Cass?"

Castiel sighed and pulled a small bundle out of one of the larger pockets of his coat.

"Cass!" Crowley admonished.

"Aa-choo," Dean sneezed.

"He's an orphan, and he's only an infant. We need to save him,"

"We can't keep him Cas, A-choo,"

"Dean," Castiel begged.

"The thing doesn't even have any fur yet but I'm still sneezing, Crowley take Cas and the cat to the animal shelter,"

"Why can't Cass keep it?" Crowley asked not understanding.

"I'm severely allergic to cats, A-choo, even familiars make me sneeze when they're in human form," Dean explained.

"So is Satan," Crowley said snapping a light green collar into his hands. Taking the kitten awkwardly from Cass's grasp, he adjusted it around the kitten's neck and then handed him back to Castiel.

"What does Satan have to do with anything," Dean asked.

"He loves dogs, but he can't keep any because he's allergic, so the people in charge of pleasing Satan made these collars. They make it so the animal can't cause allergies,"

"Are you sure?"

"Wait a day and then if you don't sneeze you'll have your answer," Crowley replied.

Castiel had an enormous giddy excited smile on his face.

"Can I keep him Dean?" he asked almost shyly.

Dean looked from Crowley to Castiel and shrugged, "If the little furball can't cause me allergies, I don't see why not,"

Cas hurried around the bunker muttering little encouragements to the black ball of almost fur and looking for things to help take care of his new pet (things always magically happened to be there even though Dean was positive he'd never bought kitty litter or kitten formula ever in his life).

After Castiel had gotten the kitten settled and everything was in order (and Crowley made sure the kitten would not die), Dean and Crowley sat back down on the couch. The commercial break was still not over.

Castiel sat cross-legged in front of them watching the kitten breath gently.

"It's a pretty cute little thing Cass, what are you going to name it?"

"I have absolutely no idea," Castiel said happily.

Sam and Aziraphale stumbled into the room soon after and Aziraphale saw the kitty.

"AW! Look at the iddy biddy liddle thing!"

"Dean! Be careful! You're going to sneeze!" Sam warned tryong to jump slow-motion in front ofhis brother in an attempt to rescue him.

"Nah, Crowley says he fixed it," Dean replied pushing Sam to the floor easily.

"Okay, who's pussy is it," Sam asked before falling into a giggling mess.

"It's mine," Castiel said.

"What are you going to name it?"

"I have no idea; I don't even know what gender it is,"

"Call it moose," Sam offered.

"Call it Mouse-slayer," Crowley countered making slashy movements with his arms. Aziraphale sighed and made a mental note to teach Crowley proper sword-fighting skills (when he was, you know, less drunk).

"Call it lucky," Dean winked.

"Call it Cat," Sam winked as well. Obviously alcohol impairs your ability to tell when winks are appropriate.

"Call it Katherine" Aziraphale said. Such Victorian names could never go wrong.

"Call it Catmando, like going commando but with Cats, because it's not wearing any clothes," Sam suggested.

"Call it Rainy" Crowley offered much more realistically.

"Call it Damn Lucky," Dean said noticing he hadn't sneezed.

"Call it Nick Furry,"

"Call it Princess"'

"Call it Furball,"

"Call it Wrinkle," Aziraphale said.

"Wrinkle?" Castiel asked.

"I saw a copy of Wrinkle in Time with black cat on it,"

"Maybe,"

"Call it Catstiel,"

"Clever Sam," Crowley said.

"It's sort of cute," Aziraphale hiccupped. Crowley wondered if he could get away with 'forgetting to sober them' and making them wake up to a headache.

"Well, I don't like it," Dean growled.

"Call it Pizza,"

"Call it Bee,"

"Call it Catstiel,"

"You said that already,"

"Call it dinosaur,"

"Call it Sam'sgoingtogethishaircutoffifheeversaysawordabout thedinosaurstoanyoneeveragain," Crowley threatened.

"That's too long," Aziraphale answered.

"Call it chester,"

"Oh, I like that,"

"Hah! Like Winchester,"

"Call it Manchester,"

"Manchester?"

"I like Manchester," Crowley grinned.

"Call it Milton,"

"Not bad,"

"Hmmm, Milton Keynes?"

"No," Aziraphale said fiddling with his hands in his lap.

"I just feel like we keep coming back to Catstiel," Sam shrugged.

"That's just you repeating it after we say no." Castiel reminded gently.

"But, CATstiel, Castiel!"

"I really like Chester,"

"I do too, I think it suits… him?"

"Well, it will suit him if it's a boy what if it's a girl?"

They all thought for a moment before Sam snapped his fingers.

"Catstiel," he said happily.

"Oh my God, SAM! How drunk are you?"

"If it's a girl, pick a really girly princessy name," Dean snorted.

"Like Catstiel,"

"SAM," they all admonished.

"Instead of calling it Cas, you could call it Cats,"

"No,"

"What about buttercup?"

"Princess Buttercup,"

"I don't like it," Sam said.

"Call it something ironic, something REALLY ironic," Dean said.

"A really ironic girl name?" Sam asked, confusion obvious on his brow.

All was quiet for a moment.

"Pussy" Crowley said.

"No, I will not subject my cat to such name calling," Castiel said tugging the cat-bed closer to him as if for protection.

"Call it Bitch, or Cat-bitch, or Catstiel,"

"DAMN IT SAM"

"A really ironic girl name?" Aziraphale asked trying to steer the conversation in the right direction.

"Name it Boy," Dean said pointing out the obvious ironies.

"Call it Gabby," Aziraphale offered.

"That might be a good idea," Castiel said thinking.

"NONONO!I got it! Call her Nip," Sam said.

"Nip?"

"Like Cat Nip, or like Catstiel," Sam explained.

"Sam, so close," Aziraphale whispered.

"I sort of like that,"

"Catstiel?"

"No, Nip,"

"It is a pretty nice name I guess, and basically a Unisex name,"

"Now I'm torn, I still really like chester."

"So then both, Chesternip, like Catnip it attracts Winchesters,"

"Or Nipchester,"

"Nipchester isn't so bad as it could be,"

"Yeah, it's not CatsNipel or Catstielnip or Nipstiel, or-"

"We get it Sammy,"

"Sam,"

"Right,"

"Okay, how about we decide tomorrow yeah?"

"Fine, The nominees are, Nipchester, Chesternip, Chester, Nip-"

"Pussy,"

"Not Pussy,"

"Mouse-slayer,"

"Definitely not that,"

"Okay, so we'll sleep on the name. Come on Nameless, let's get you into our bedroom,"

"Nameless is always an option," Dean shrugged as Castiel set up the nameless kitten in their bedroom.

"The name is a paradox, I like paradoxes, STOP MAKING THIS HARDER!"

"Sorry, geez," Dean said following Cas to their bedroom.

* * *

Author's Not (yes, I mean not, not sane.): Hey you guys. You wanna leave me a cute little review? If you don't I completely understand, it's a major commitment. I after all fall madly hopelessly in love with you as soon as you leave one. So, I think this has like five more chapters of stuff, like, of random stuff (you know, like head cannons), and then I'm going to be posting the final two chapters. Then you know, the end. So, if you want to leave a cute little review...

Also, male cat? or female cat? The first reviewer (and/or private messenger) who tells me they want a male or female kitty for Cas decides the fate of this kitten's life (and name[I already know what I'm going to name it if you say male and what to name it if you say female. Or if you just want to go ahead and pick a name from the ones offered or if you want to make a completely new one. Go for it, just tell me what you want, literally, the first person gets to pick.]).


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